This is another chain mail I found, but this one is probably my favourite ever! I can laugh for hours, so enjoy =D
"These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are
things people actually sagte in court, word for word, taken down and published Von court reporters. Just goes to Zeigen how bad the law profession has gotten.
ATTORNEY: Are Du sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were Du in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: Du forget? Can Du give us an example of something Du forgot?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband sagte to Du that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do Du know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: Du do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the Weiter morning?
WITNESS: Did Du actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were Du present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are Du shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the datum of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were Du doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are Du for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: Von death.
ATTORNEY: And Von whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do Du suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can Du describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male oder a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have Du performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would Du like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did Du go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do Du recall the time that Du examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the tabelle wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are Du qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are Du qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before Du performed the autopsy, did Du check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did Du check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did Du check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when Du began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can Du be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my schreibtisch in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."
"These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are
things people actually sagte in court, word for word, taken down and published Von court reporters. Just goes to Zeigen how bad the law profession has gotten.
ATTORNEY: Are Du sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were Du in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: Du forget? Can Du give us an example of something Du forgot?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband sagte to Du that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do Du know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: Du do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the Weiter morning?
WITNESS: Did Du actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were Du present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are Du shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the datum of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were Du doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are Du for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: Von death.
ATTORNEY: And Von whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do Du suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can Du describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male oder a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have Du performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would Du like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did Du go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do Du recall the time that Du examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the tabelle wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are Du qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are Du qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before Du performed the autopsy, did Du check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did Du check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did Du check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when Du began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can Du be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my schreibtisch in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
A ship was seen flying into Geonosis. Once it landed, a man on a speeder bike drove out.
Song: link
SeanTheHedgehog Presents
A star, sterne Wars Fan Fiction
The Bounty Hunter
Starring
Sean Bodine as Logan
Amanda Licciardi as Meghan
Joshua Nilsen as Major Delgado
Craig Sheffer as Jeremy Perrash
Rob Paulsen as Alain Melvoin
Bruce Penhall as Serran Konhella
Larry Storch as Cignal Kine
Tabby Rutowski as Ess R' Tee
Logan: *Riding the speeder bike up a hill, making a big trail of dust*
Based off of the 1969 film, Two Mules...
So these are just a handful of the opinions I have that I think are unpopular. Keep in mind that these are my opinions :)
Mother Teresa was no saint.
link
Alcoholic beverages all smell too awful to drink.
Candy that doesn't include Schokolade is usually not worth eating.
The multiverse exists.
Pie is better than cake.
Bananas are best slightly green.
French fries are usually meh.
Oreos don't taste very good.
Operatic vocals need Mehr serious recognition outside the classical Musik world, because operatic vocals are the best vocals.
link
Adele has always been...
continue reading...
Mother Teresa was no saint.
link
Alcoholic beverages all smell too awful to drink.
Candy that doesn't include Schokolade is usually not worth eating.
The multiverse exists.
Pie is better than cake.
Bananas are best slightly green.
such as these
French fries are usually meh.
Oreos don't taste very good.
Operatic vocals need Mehr serious recognition outside the classical Musik world, because operatic vocals are the best vocals.
link
Adele has always been...
I could not believe my eyes when I saw this picture, Wird angezeigt Frank Sinatra playing as Dirty Harry instead of Clint Eastwood. It would be interesting to see what the movie would be like. Wouldn't it? Well thankfully, I found a clip. It was deleted from youtube, so I have to write it out for you.
Song: link
Bank Robber: *Laying on the ground, bleeding with a shotgun laying towards him*
Frank Sinatra: *Dancing towards his victim while holding his .44 anderthalbliterflasche, magnum as if it was a sword*
Bank Robber: *Tries to grab the shotgun*
Frank Sinatra: Ah ah.
Bank Robber: *Looks at Frank Sinatra*
Frank Sinatra: *Pointing...
continue reading...
Song: link
Bank Robber: *Laying on the ground, bleeding with a shotgun laying towards him*
Frank Sinatra: *Dancing towards his victim while holding his .44 anderthalbliterflasche, magnum as if it was a sword*
Bank Robber: *Tries to grab the shotgun*
Frank Sinatra: Ah ah.
Bank Robber: *Looks at Frank Sinatra*
Frank Sinatra: *Pointing...
#1: BLAND PROTAGONISTS:
It mostly seems to be female protagonists.
They just don't care for anything, they look like they don't even want to be in this film..
#2; MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ASSHOLES:
And these are the GOOD guys.
#3: JUMP SCARES:
Just stop.. Maybe Du can try having actual SCARY stuff.
Weird images, dark shadows, that type of stuff..
#4: VILLAIN WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP:
Du have him at gun point, and he's tied to a chair.. Fucking shoot him already!
#5: TRAGIC VILLAIN:
I don't mind this one, it often works.
But still, can't he just be evil, for the sake of being evil.
Like Michael Myer's in the original film?
#6: POINTLESS REMAKES:
Stop.. Just stop.
It mostly seems to be female protagonists.
They just don't care for anything, they look like they don't even want to be in this film..
#2; MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ASSHOLES:
And these are the GOOD guys.
#3: JUMP SCARES:
Just stop.. Maybe Du can try having actual SCARY stuff.
Weird images, dark shadows, that type of stuff..
#4: VILLAIN WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP:
Du have him at gun point, and he's tied to a chair.. Fucking shoot him already!
#5: TRAGIC VILLAIN:
I don't mind this one, it often works.
But still, can't he just be evil, for the sake of being evil.
Like Michael Myer's in the original film?
#6: POINTLESS REMAKES:
Stop.. Just stop.
Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
