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posted by deathding
HEY! What do Du think you're doing!?

???: Excuse us, but the administrators of Fanpop have told us to lock Du in here. But have no worries, for we have gegeben Du a fun task to work on while they want Du trapped in here!

Oh yeah. Because solitary confinement is so much fun. >.<

???: They want Du to jot down any and all thoughts that come open your mind. Let us know when you've gone insane! :)

*Door Slams*


That was the worst fuckin' prologue ever. 1/10 for character development, and 0/10 for kindness.

Well, since I have nothing else to do, here it goes. I suppose.

Wait a minute, I might be able to make a beat out of that! One second, please...

♫I sagte here it goes, I suppose, because lord knows that this assignment is a load of toads!♫

Ah, screw that. This is why I never became a rapper. :P

...But what if KONATA IZUMI FROM LUCKY star, sterne WAS A RAPPER!?

 U FRIGGIN' WOT M8 IMMA FRICKIN' 'BOUT TO SKOOL UR arsch SO DAMN HARD M8 U AIN'T GOT NO CHANCE MAN THINK U CAN STAND UP 2 ME BICH PLZ FAM
U FRIGGIN' WOT M8 IMMA FRICKIN' 'BOUT TO SKOOL UR arsch SO DAMN HARD M8 U AIN'T GOT NO CHANCE MAN THINK U CAN STAND UP 2 ME BICH PLZ FAM


Who am I kidding, that's the worst idea I've had all year. Fuckin' weeaboo trash.

....Why am I here?

....What is my purpose in life?

And most importantly, why am I still a virgin?

...The time is 4:32 PM and I wanna hang myself.

Haha, I still remember back in the Tag when people would do those jump-scare videos. Just reminds me, that's all.

Ooh, I Liebe this song! link

I will literally drive Du to delirium Von making Du think whether oder not the video is a jump-scare. Just havin' some fun. :)

Which is clearly not as abundant in this prison cell as I would've wanted. :P

???: Hey, you! In there, have Du got a moment?

Sure, and take your damn time. Bring me a pizza while you're at it, not like I have anything else to do.

???: Thanks, and sure...So what exactly are Du doing in here?

I dunno, some nimrods told me to think of Zufällig shit in here. Not that it's my definition of entertaining. *Nibbles on Pizza*

???: Hey, mind if I Mitmachen you? I just ran away from an asylum, so I'm pretty fresh on ideas! Name's Wesley, nice to meet'cha! :)

Man, I'm making some FINE Friends today. :P


Wesley: Hey, have Du ever wondered what it would be like if a giant blue flying pizza took control of a oben, nach oben secret terrorist organization in 2093 while simultaneously Singen a pop song and whipping an innocent VHS Player?

 *Accurate Representation*
*Accurate Representation*


...Just what in the FUCK did Du guys talk about in that asylum again?

Wesley: Nothing too out of the ordin-AH!

*Throws Out Window*

And DON'T COME BACK!

Wesley: Man, they don't pay me enough for this. @___@

They don't pay Du at all, haha!

So anyway...Fuck, has it only been an hour? Something please happen already!

*KNOCK KNOCK*

He-hey, that plot manipulation though! WHO'S THE MAN? ;)

Fanpop: This is the Fanpop staff, put'cher hands in the air!

♫Like Du don't care, gliiiide Von the people as they start to look and stare! :D♫

*Chock Guns*

Huh, I guess they're not a Fan of Cameo. :P

Fanpop: Now give us your wallet!

...You're actually serious? That thing's Mehr empty than Russia's economy after the first World War!

Fanpop: Okay, now you're going to die.

Wait, the Fanpop staff is made up of Russians?

Fanpop: Больно, ублюдок, мальчики!

FUCK! If only I had the script of this ahead of time. Now I know not to make references to history ever again. Du hearing this, Mauserfan?

*Approximately .000001 Sekunden later....*

JESUS, do they know how to tie Du up quickly oder what? If only they were that fast in bed, haha!

*Throws in decayed chamber filled with rats*

Fanpop: Now STAY in there!


Sure thing, but Du forgot something...

Fanpop: ?

You're not Fanpop, you're just some corrupted copy of them!

Fanpop: How dare Du accuse us of not being the REAL Fanpop!

Guys, give it up. I mean, Du all have mustaches that would make Mario jealous.

Fanpop: Yeah, so what?

Alright, fine. Can Du tell me when Fanpop was created?

Fanpop: Uhh, in 1996-

*SLAM*

AND STAY OUT! ;)


Wesley: How's it goin', Du guys got thrown out too? XD

Fanpop: Мы бы сошли с рук, если бы не это вмешательство в Смерть!

Now, to finish this article. It should be something dramatic, like...a POEM! Yeah, channel my inner Edgar Allen Poe. The girls'll be all over me.

A Maniac's Thoughts, A Maniac's Thoughts

Oh how they got so Lost in the plot

To their own demise have I seen

How surprisingly fun of an afternoon that this has bean

What, you're telling me that bohne doesn't count, be quiet!

One Mehr word outta Du and I'll start a riot!

Like that one Three Days Grace song, but I digress

...Man, this is one weird fucking article, no contest

Anyway, I gotta go now, and no offense to the Russians!

Then again, it's the Internet, they've already started the hate discussions

Being complete assholes, and Schauspielen like tools

I shall leave on this note:

APRIL FUCKIN' FOOLS!
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posted by Bluekait
To realize the value of a sister, ask someone who doesn't have one. To realize the value of ten years, ask a newly divorced couple. To realize the value of four years, ask a graduate. To realize the value of one year, ask a student who has failed a final exam. To realize the value of nine months, ask a mother who gave birth to a still born. To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who has gegeben birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of one week, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one hour, ask the Liebhaber who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of one minute, ask a person who has missed the train, bus oder plane. To realize the value of one-second, ask a person who has survived an accident. To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics. To realize the value of a friend, lose one.

Moral: Don't take everything for granted.
posted by vampirer04
"Good morning mom." Ashley took a sip of her coffee.

"Morning." Ashley's mom flipped two pfannkuchen over.

Ashley loved the sent of pfannkuchen in the morning.

When the pfannkuchen were ready, Ashley got a text.

She read it and noticed a huge fight was happening.

She ate her breakfast and headed out the door.

When she opened the door her friend was standing in from of her.

"Hey!" She acted hyper.

"Uh hi, Anything going on?" She asked her while raising her eyebrow.

Ashley closed the door and followed her friend.

"Where are we going Lily?" She asked trying to catch up with her.

"Leading Du to the fight idiot!"...
continue reading...
posted by t_direction
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

If Du mated a stier, bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

If an krankenwagen is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Why is traube Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

If Jimmy cracks mais and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is it called a "drive through" if Du have to stop?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of datum Weiter year?

Why are Softballs hard?

Do the Minuten on the movie boxes include the...
continue reading...
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