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How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the Queen of sarcasm, Du don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"


What's an appropriate site for a 13 Jahr old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"


Can Du get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"


Why are Babys ugly at first?
"How about Du stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how Du look."


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."


Is is normal to be in Liebe with your dog?
"... Du need help"


Do Du Katzen know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"


Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously Du never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if Du paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"


How do I test if my schildkröte is gay?
"you Zeigen it your penis, and see if it stares for Mehr than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of Jesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"


How does sex start?
"With human contact!"


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"


How do I ask a Frage on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"


How do Du tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"


Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"


Why is canada a safe, sicher country?
"Cause the mighty king gans gives us Essen to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my schildkröte against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"


Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this Jahr for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"


Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"


I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"


What another word for being wrong?
"Women"


Is it wrong too Mitmachen a certain race?
"Not if Du ask the guys dressed as ghosts"


Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"


What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"


How do Du hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"


How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."


How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."


How do Du Mitmachen Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"


"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."


What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."


Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."


Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."
posted by animelol
-Every year, nearly 4 million Katzen are eaten in Asia
-On average, Katzen spend 2/3 of a Tag sleeping,that means a 9 Jahr old cat has been awake for 3 years of its life!
-When a cat chases its prey,it keeps its head level. Hunde and humans bob their heads up and down.
-A group of Katzen is called a "clowder"
-Female Katzen tend to be right pawed, while male Katzen are often left pawed
-Cats make about 100 different sounds, Hunde make 10.
-Some siamese Katzen appear to be cross-eyed because the nerves from its left eye go mostly to the right and the opposite with the other eye
-A Katzen eyesight is both better and...
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^.^ Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
This is NOT mine, I found it link. Thought this was funny....enjoy!
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"

"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."

"Talk about a huge breast!"

"It's Cool Whip time!"

"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"

"Are Du ready for Sekunden yet?"

"Are Du going to come again Weiter time?"

"It's a little dry, do Du still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"

"Don't play with your meat."

"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."

"Do Du think you'll be able to handle...
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posted by Gmillsap02
At the end of series 3, Du never really find out what happens to Zuko's Mom, do you? well, I've got an idea, check this out:

Ozai wanted to be firelord, but Azulon wouldn't let him be Weiter in line, yadda yadda yadda, Iroh and Lu Ten, yadda yadda yadda, Ozai has to kill his first born son. But Ursa didn't like that so she planned a plan so that Ozai would be firelord and Zuko would live, but then Ursa was banished and I THINK that Ozai killed Azulon but who knows. So, Ursa is banished, and I don't really know where she's gone....but remember when Aang was in the spirit world and he had to talk to "The Face Stealer" (Can't remember the name-sorry) and he changes his face, Right? Well Du know that face oder a girl with long dark hair? Doen't she look alot like Ursa? If Du don't think so just have a look at how different Azula looked when she was crazy and cut her hair.

Think about it...I could be right!

So she of trapped in THE SPIRIT WORLD<--------
posted by flippy_fan210
 Derpy
Derpy
yes, this is ripping off cupcakes. do not read of Du don't like blood and gore. for those who don't know the characters, cadence and shining armor are at the bottom.

chapter 1: Cadence

Cadence was walking to Derpy's new bakery with Shining armor. Derpy sagte she had something extra special planned for the three of them. “where is the bakery anyways?” Cadence asked. “i think it's the one with the huge muffin on top.” Shining armor replied. “yeah, that's gotta be it.” Cadence said, walking towards it. Shining armor followed her. They walked into the bakery, at first it looked as if...
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I’m in disarray
I’m unkempt
And I Liebe Du sugar
Yeah this is what Du do
When Du run your fingers through my hair
In the morning I’m feeling like a sexy superstar

Wow, wow
You rock my party
Wanna make Du stay
You’re the only one that keeps me Singen la la la
I Liebe to smell your t-shirt
I like the way Du are
But most of all I like it, like it

I like what Du do to my hair
Who knew that looking a mess could feel so good
I like what Du do to my hair
Toss it and tease it
Run your fingers through it
Oh how Du do it

Now go and mess it up, mess it up
Baby mess it up
Mess it up, mess it up
Do it till I can’t...
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Hip shaker
Dream maker
Heart breaker
Earth quaker
I can be anything that Du want me to

Coin spender
Mind bender
Jet setter
Go getter
Changing my get up for anything Du choose

I don’t mind trying on someone else
I won’t mind seeing just how it felt
I might like changing my disguise
To make Du happy

Here’s my formal invitation
You and me go masquerading
Lose ourselves in this charading
Is this Liebe we’re imitating
Do we want what we got
If not I say so what
Here’s my formal invitation
La la la la

You can be my
School teacher
Mind reader
Dream weaver
Just be the one I can count on to play it out with me

Hot...
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Ah
Boy walk in the spot he so fresh yea
He got what he need to impressin’
Just look at the way that he dressin’
Ain’t no Frage chicks like whoa
Girl walkin’ the spot she stop traffic
She blowin’ your mind with her asset
So Jessica Alba fantastic
Instant classic boys like ooh
Maybe I can see us moving like that
Maybe I can see us touching like that
Baby I can see us Küssen like that
We don’t need no Mehr that he sagte she said
Maybe I can see us moving like that
Maybe I can see us touching like that
Baby I can see us Küssen like that
We don’t need no Mehr that he sagte she said
He sagte girl...
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posted by randomgirl3000
Facing Stress is very common in school especially near exam time oder due dates of assignments. Learning ways to cope with stress can minimize the negative impact stress has on your mental health leading to maximize academic performance. Here are 5 ways that I come up while in school that I think might be helpful to new college students.

1. Have a support network - They are the academic resource center, the professors oder teaching assistance, your friends, your family oder school counselors. Von having a reliable network of support, Du allow yourself to reach out to people who can help you. Furthermore,...
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posted by _ColorBlind_
Hey..

So, 

Remember me? Of course Du don't- this is a new account. *smacks self*

Anyway, I used to be LUV_4_BIEBER. *shudders* Remember me now? Still no? Okay.. 

ANYPENIS, I came back to this site a few nights Vor and went "Damn I miss this place!" Of course probably NONE if the people I knew are still here, but who cares- I can make new friends!

(that was a completely failed attempt at being sociable)

So I was looking back at my old account and holy fucking dickface I was the biggest idiot ever. Just- wow. Firer me apologizes for past me's illiterate Schreiben skills, mary-sueishess, and generally being an annoying twat >.<  

I guess this is a welcome back post? Mehr like a "please dear god take me back" post :p

BUT HAY. 
Am sure Du all already know me for my question:"Does people at your school make fun of what happened at 9/11" where I concluded that only people Von where I live (Miami, Florida) joke about that. Well turns out they are not the only bastards. I was on Youtube, checking out Videos about 9/11 for a reason I don't know. So I came across this video, that Von just looking at the title, Du know it was made Von someone who lacks a soul. here is the Titel of the video:
"9/11-Get the water nigga"
The name to you, may look funny. But when Du think about what is it about, you'll realize that this is serious...
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Harry Potter Autor JK Rowling, admitted that Dumbledore is gay. He was in Liebe with a wizard named Grindelwald whom he later defeated in a duel.


"I had always seen Dumbledore as gay, but in a sense that's not a big deal. The book wasn't about Dumbledore being gay. It was just that from the outset obviously I knew that he had this big, hidden secret and that he flirted with the idea of exactly what Voldemort goes on to do, he flirted with the idea of racial domination, that he was going to subjugate Muggles. So that was Dumbledore's big secret.

He's an innately good man, what would make him...
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posted by Wanda5
I'm bored so here, guess the songs :)

Rules:
- Put your MP3 player/iPod/iTunes on shuffle.
- Post the first line from the first 30 songs that plays, no matter how embarrassing the song.
- Let anyone guess the Antwort (song Titel and artist)
- Bold the lyrics when someone figures it out

1. She paints her fingers with a close precision

2. This may be the last thing that I write for long

3. Tripping out, spinning around - Alice Von Avril Lavigne

4. She lives in a fairy tale - Brick Von boring brick Von Paramore

5. Your little hands wrapped around my finger - Never grow up Von Taylor Swift

6. He woke up...
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posted by akatsuki_lover9
 Flippy
Flippy
chapter 1
It was a normal Tag for flippy. Breakfast, newspaper. He got his mail from the mailbox. Nothing new, nothing great. Then one letter caught his eye. It sagte on the front in bold letters “You Have Been Called To Serve In The Hunger Games.” flippy dreaded this day. “called to serve again?” he thought. “figures, a war hero having to serve again, I might as well read the rest of this letter. He opened it up, expecting the worst. “please god, not Vietnam.” he prayed. He was surprised at what was written. It didn't seem war-like at all. “Dear tribute, Du have been chosen...
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posted by koalagirl9
step 1.Go up to someone and ask there name
Step 2.Tell them that there name is ugly
step 3.Tell them they're hemd, shirt looks like throw up
step 4.give them a hug
step 5:kick them in the shin
step 6:tell them Du Liebe them
Step 7:kick them in the crotch oder stumach
step 8.Say i Liebe Du again
step 9:walk around them in circles Singen my butt smells like a tortia chachacha
step 10:say Du hate them
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her Home because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the...
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posted by akatsuki_lover9
Chapter 1


It was late afternoon. Flamingleap, an orange feuer elemental dragon, was hunting for the tribe, with no luck. He'd been hunting since dawn and caught nothing. Snow crunched beneath his big feet. Just when he was ready to give up he heard the screech of an eagle. He jerked his head up. The eagle was only a few feet from his face and it was the size of his head. It would feed a few Drachen if it was teilt, split equally. Flamingleap reached and snapped his jaws on the eagle's wing. It flapped in a desperate attempt to escape. Flamingleap jerked his head, killing the eagle. “the clan will...
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 Our current Cover. I've been working on a new one.
Our current Cover. I've been working on a new one.
So wassup everybody? Listen, There's this club called Zufällig Anime RP forums. Me and some other fanpoppers got one hell of a story going on and if you're looking for some good reading, it's there. Action, comedy, romance, drama, vampires, and even zombie soul reapers! You'll find Anime characters from Hell Girl, Inuyasha, Pokemon, Bleach, Rozen Maiden, Pandora Hearts, Black Butler, and many more. Hell, we even got Mortal Kombat in there. And during one story arch I even added Freddy Kruger. I couldn't help it. Dream Eater Merry VS Freddy... C'mon! Anywho, check it out if you're interested. The first 3 parts are gepostet on Anime club but we got the Links in ours. We've been keeping this RP going for close to 11 months so far. So hell byob, oder whatever ya drink and come help us celebrate our first anniversary. hehe XD Cy-beer... lol... sorry. Anywho, I think our story kicks arsch and if Du Liebe Anime and good story telling, I think Du will too. Peace! and um, see ya there hopefully
hahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahajahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha u r so stupid if u no like justn beber oder one directin they have beter ears than keith harkin and if u had good ears u o wood b listning to rabit Essen r u mad wel dont say i didnt warn u freak my life is complete cuz am marryed 2 jb nd iCarly is my best fend hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajaha that wat u get 4 ben mena 2 me hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahajahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahauahahahtahahauauhagaiahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahhahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahahahahahahajahajahajahajajajahahahahahahajahahahajahahhahahahahahahahaha
1 = Tap your pencil continuously on your schreibtisch oder forehead.

2 = If Du have long hair, flip it in someones face.

3 = Keep on shifting your chair.

4 = Keep on whispering Hi.

5 = Tell them after class "They know now". Trust me it scares them.

6 = Ask them where they live..

7 = Ask them if they watch America's Weiter oben, nach oben Model every day.

8 = Ask them every Tag to sit Weiter to them at lunch, but at lunch say Du were just kidding.

9 = Have a sleepover with them and do nothing.

10 = Ask them if KFC serves pizza every Friday.

11 = Poke them in the back if they won't move.

12 = Say "I like your hair" in a creepy way.

13 = Ask them if they have ever been drunk.

14 = Ask if they are on Myspace. If they are, then say they have no life.
posted by chillyneon
I'm sorry if one of these shows are still one of your Favoriten it's my opinion not yours :P

1 = Icarly
2 = Victorious
3 = How To Rock
4 = Degrassi
5 = Team UmiZoomi
6 = Dora The Explorer
7 = Big Time Rush
8 = So Random
9 = A.N.T farm
10 = Hanna Motanna
11 = Secret Mountain Fort Awesome
12 = Pair Of Kings (some episodes)
13 = Bucket And Skinner
14 = Dance Academy

Sorry if Du like any of these shows. I just dont like them!!! It's my opinion, MINE.

Here are some Zufällig words to make my Artikel longer
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