NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President oder Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a Jahr plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO Du HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a Mehr intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO Du HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT Du FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO Du HAVE A CAR?: I think the Mehr appropriate Frage here would be "Do Du have a car that runs?"

HAVE Du RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS oder RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO Du SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD Du LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO Du CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries