NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President oder Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a Jahr plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO Du HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a Mehr intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO Du HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT Du FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO Du HAVE A CAR?: I think the Mehr appropriate Frage here would be "Do Du have a car that runs?"
HAVE Du RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS oder RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO Du SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD Du LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO Du CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President oder Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a Jahr plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO Du HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a Mehr intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO Du HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT Du FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO Du HAVE A CAR?: I think the Mehr appropriate Frage here would be "Do Du have a car that runs?"
HAVE Du RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS oder RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO Du SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD Du LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO Du CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
Hey..
So,
Remember me? Of course Du don't- this is a new account. *smacks self*
Anyway, I used to be LUV_4_BIEBER. *shudders* Remember me now? Still no? Okay..
ANYPENIS, I came back to this site a few nights Vor and went "Damn I miss this place!" Of course probably NONE if the people I knew are still here, but who cares- I can make new friends!
(that was a completely failed attempt at being sociable)
So I was looking back at my old account and holy fucking dickface I was the biggest idiot ever. Just- wow. Firer me apologizes for past me's illiterate Schreiben skills, mary-sueishess, and generally being an annoying twat >.<
I guess this is a welcome back post? Mehr like a "please dear god take me back" post :p
BUT HAY.
So,
Remember me? Of course Du don't- this is a new account. *smacks self*
Anyway, I used to be LUV_4_BIEBER. *shudders* Remember me now? Still no? Okay..
ANYPENIS, I came back to this site a few nights Vor and went "Damn I miss this place!" Of course probably NONE if the people I knew are still here, but who cares- I can make new friends!
(that was a completely failed attempt at being sociable)
So I was looking back at my old account and holy fucking dickface I was the biggest idiot ever. Just- wow. Firer me apologizes for past me's illiterate Schreiben skills, mary-sueishess, and generally being an annoying twat >.<
I guess this is a welcome back post? Mehr like a "please dear god take me back" post :p
BUT HAY.
Flippy
10. Tell a Zufällig person Du Liebe them
9. go up to a worker and ask them Zufällig questoins about them (name age Zodiac sign)
8.Try on a bra thats way to big oder for guys just a Zufällig bra and ask a worker how Du look
7.sit in the middle of a isle
6.clog the toilet
5.go up to a Zufällig person and say gimme all your cash and nobody gets hurt
4.(for department stores) Jump on a display bed
4.(grocery stores) Eat Essen before buying it
3.Scream bloody murder
2.Go store streaking
and number 1 is
1.yell kick me out of this store at the oben, nach oben of your lungs
9. go up to a worker and ask them Zufällig questoins about them (name age Zodiac sign)
8.Try on a bra thats way to big oder for guys just a Zufällig bra and ask a worker how Du look
7.sit in the middle of a isle
6.clog the toilet
5.go up to a Zufällig person and say gimme all your cash and nobody gets hurt
4.(for department stores) Jump on a display bed
4.(grocery stores) Eat Essen before buying it
3.Scream bloody murder
2.Go store streaking
and number 1 is
1.yell kick me out of this store at the oben, nach oben of your lungs
PK:were am i
*turns on lights
darla dimple: ...
PK:WHO ARE U?
darla dimple:...
PK: ok blah blah YAA *THROWS messer AT DD
darla dimple: *teleports to PK*
PK: ಠ_ಠ
PK: *LOOKS behind*
pinkie pie: wut i tell u about goin in MAH SHED
pk: wait this is a shed ohh ok*turns all dark again
PK: not again *someone turns on light*
pk: WHY AM I STRAPED UP
pinkie pie: *starts up chainsaw*
pk: oh no O_e
pinkie pie: *cuts up my guts*
pk: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU
al da sudden flippy breaks in 007 style
PK: YAY HI FLIPPY
flippy: let me help u pinkie pie...
PK; OH COME ON!!!
both: cuts hands
PK:FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
both: go's into private room
PK: hmm I HAVE DA POWER *breaks chains*
pk: wow it worked
pk: looks at private window
*both havenig sexytime
pk: walks away
pk: e_e *stabs myself*
woke up DA END NOW DIE
10: "Ooh, never felt like [i]that[i] before!"
9: "Keep it coming!"
8: "Oh, [i]that's[i] what it does!"
7: "I like that. I like that a lot."
6: *Grunt* *Scream* "YES! OH, YES!"
5: "Hey, that tickles!"
4: "It felt different when (insert old partner's name) did that."
3: "Huh. That's bigger than I remember. Oh well."
2: "Wait. Is that yours oder mine?"
1: "Hey. That's weird. How do Du put that back?"
I had a lot of fun Schreiben these, and the majority of them I made up as I went along.
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
9: "Keep it coming!"
8: "Oh, [i]that's[i] what it does!"
7: "I like that. I like that a lot."
6: *Grunt* *Scream* "YES! OH, YES!"
5: "Hey, that tickles!"
4: "It felt different when (insert old partner's name) did that."
3: "Huh. That's bigger than I remember. Oh well."
2: "Wait. Is that yours oder mine?"
1: "Hey. That's weird. How do Du put that back?"
I had a lot of fun Schreiben these, and the majority of them I made up as I went along.
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
