Application For Permission To datum My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied Von a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical Berichten from your physician.


Name:
datum of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
Home Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do Du have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers oder sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do Du own oder have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do Du have an earring, nose ring, oder belly button ring? ____


Do Du have a tattoo? ____

If Du have answered YES to #3, #4 oder #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words oder less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words oder less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words oder less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words oder less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple Du attend: ____________________________

How often do Du attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" oder "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do Du want to be if Du grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture oder mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank Du for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. Du will be contacted in Schreiben if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.