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posted by peacebaby7
Author's Note: The following are short little short stories—or skits—that I've come up with. They're just small ideas that I've had in my head but don't know what to do with. I hope Du enjoy them and I hope I succeed in making Du laugh. Any Titel with a Roman numeral in brackets Weiter to it has an skit note associated with it, which will be displayed at the end of the article. I hope to do Mehr things like this in the future.

1) Cloning Crisis [1]

    During a quiet morning, the penguins were in the HQ relaxing. Skipper had just brewed a cup of coffee and added his choice of fisch when Julien dropped through the hatch with his subjects, Maurice and Mort.

    "Hello, my smelly subjects!" he called. Though his remark annoyed Skipper, he ignored it.

    "What do Du want, Ringtail? We've already told Du thousands of times, we're not giving Du a sponge bath," Skipper said, suddenly losing his appetite for his fisch coffee and setting his mug on the counter.

    "No, silly water-bird. Du see, as your king, I must always be fashionably perfect! So, I am in needing of a new crown," Julien explained.

    "And what does this have to do with us?" Skipper asked folding his flippers over his chest.

    "Isn't it obvious? I am needing the crazy one to destroy my old crown before someone finds it and tries to geschirr, kabelbaum my pelz cells to create clones of me! There can only be one king, which is me!" Julien answered.

    "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, Ringtail," Skipper sagte rolling his eyes.

    "And what makes Du so sure?" Julien inquired.

    "Because, trust me, no one in their right mind would want to make Mehr of you."

2) The King of Hearts

    "So, do we have anything else to deal with, Kowalski?" Skipper asked his Sekunde in command.

    Kowalski looked over his clipboard. "Just one; we need to fix the pumpe on Julien's bouncy. It's been slowly deflating for a little over a Tag now and Alice hasn't taken notice," he informed his leader.

    Skipper nodded. "Alright. Let's get a Bewegen on, then," he ordered his team.

    Upon arrival, Julien came bounding up to them. "There Du are! I've been waiting for Du for forever! Are Du going to fix my bouncy pump, now?"

    Skipper rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ringtail. We're here to fix your pump. Now, Bewegen aside."

    Julien did so as Kowalski set to work on the pump, opening a control panel and examining the wires.

    "Ah, I see the problem. Rico, hand me some wire cutters," Kowalski requested. Rico fulfilled it and Kowalski reconnected a set of broken wires. The pumpe came to life and started pumping air into the bouncy once again.

    "Well, I guess that means we're done. It's good as new," Skipper sagte to Julien. Julien approached the bouncy as it regained its form.

    "I will be the judge of that!" Julien sagte hopping atop the bouncy and performing a series of bounces. He laughed in triumph. "Yes! Being bounceless for twenty-four hours has been leaving me bounce-depraved!" he cried.

    Kowalski was about to correct him—since he should have used the term deprived instead of depraved—but was interrupted when Julien continued.

    "Thanking you, penguins! Thanking Du from the herz of my bottom!"

3) Everyone Has Limits [II]

    "No, Du hang up first! No, Du hang up first! No, you! No, you!"

    It had been a week since Kowalski and Doris had finally become a couple, and Kowalski had helped Doris gain access to a phone on the coast. Now, the two of them were on the phone having a seemingly endless goodbye. They'd been going on like this for almost an hour, and it was getting on the team's last nerves.

    "No, you! No, you!" Kowalski sagte over and over again from the side of the HQ, leaning over the tabelle like a lovesick teenager.

    Skipper rubbed his temples. "I don't think I can take this much longer…" he muttered to Rico, who was sitting Weiter to him with earmuffs over his earholes. He didn't even realize Skipper had sagte anything.

    "No, you! No, Du hang up! No, you hang up first!" Kowalski continued…Still.

    Out of nowhere, Private took the phone from him and held his flipper over the receiver. "No, me!" He held the phone to his beak. "Sorry, our HQ is going through a tunnel. Goodbye," he sagte before hanging up.

    "Private! Why did Du do that!?" Kowalski asked pulling the phone back and punching at the buttons.

    Skipper stepped in between them and pulled the phone from Kowalski. "Sorry, Kowalski, but Du really need to get off for the night."

    "Why? It's not that late!" Kowalski protested.

    "Kowalski, it's almost midnight," Skipper told him.

    "Oh…Sorry, Skipper. A simple 'please get off the phone' would've been enough, though," he muttered.

    "Sorry, Kowalski," Private said, "I just couldn't take it anymore!"

    "Really, Private? I figured Du would understand, considering you're the most tenderhearted out of all of us," Kowalski inquired.

    "Sorry, Kowalski. But even sensitive guys have their limits."

4) Relationships [III]

    As usual, King Julien and Skipper were having yet another argument at the zoo meeting that was taking place at the Zoovenir Shop.

    “You cannot just barge in on all and any pinguin operation like that! Du could’ve ruined everything! Not to mention that it’s completely classified!” Skipper was saying.

    “But I am king! I am entitled to do whatever I desire whenever I desire!” Julien argued.

    “I’ll Zeigen Du what I desire—”

    “Guys! Do Du really have an argument at every single meeting?” Roger asked. It was the first meeting he’d attended since he'd been a resident at the zoo.

    “It’s not my fault that he has to stick his royal nose into everything!” Skipper protested.

    “I’m sure there’s something we can do to work this out, here,” Roger said.

    “Eh, sorry, my amphibious neighbor, but it is the smelly pinguin who is not wanting to work this out!” Julien told him.

    “Um, first off, I’m a reptile,” Roger corrected. “Second, I think Du both are the problem.”

    “Both of us? Have Du been paying attention? He’s the one being difficult!” Skipper protested.

    “Can’t Du two just learn to get along?” Roger asked.

    “No, I’m afraid Ringtail and I have a very complicated loathe-hate relationship,” Skipper answered.

    “Um, don’t Du mean love-hate relationship?” Roger asked, recognizing the phrase. Skipper shook his head.

    “I meant what I said.”

5) Payback [IV]

    The penguins were getting ready to turn in on a late Friday night when the lemurs dropped down into the HQ.

    “Hello, flightless waterbirds! I am here only to be using your TV for my entertainment purposes,” Julien told them.

    “Well, Ringtail, go right ahead,” Skipper permitted.

    “Oh, come on! Du have to be…Wait, did Du just say yes?” Julien asked, not quite sure he heard Skipper correctly.

    “Well, I don’t see why not,” Skipper answered glancing at the team, who were staring at him with their beaks hanging open.

    “You mean to tell me, that Du are going to allow me to use your television? No lecture on boundaries? No shoving us out of your penguiny HQ?” Julien asked.

    “Nope. Enjoy yourself,” Skipper assured him.

    The lemurs exchanged a glance and shrugged, then made their way to the television. When they were occupied, Kowalski leaned in closer to Skipper and lowered his voice.

    “Are Du really going to let them do this? Du know they’ll expect to be able to come back in the future,” he said.

    “Oh, I’m not worried, Kowalski. After tonight, I’m sure they won’t want to come back for a long time,” Skipper sagte with a grin.

    “What makes Du so sure?” Kowalski asked.

    “Because, the remote just happens to be out of batteries and I have the Fernsehen set to Zeigen Friday the 13th.”

6) Mutual Feelings [V]

    While Marlene was busy relaxing in her habitat, Julien hopped in trotted up to her.

    “Hello, Marlene! How are Du to be doing today?” he asked.

    Marlene propped herself up Von her elbows, lifting herself from her laying position. “I’m doing alright, I guess. What are Du doing here?”

    “I was just seeing how Du were doing. Oh, Von the way, can I borrow your strand ball for a party I am having tonight?”

    “Well, I’m kind of busy right now. I’ll come to your habitat and let Du know my decision later on,” Marlene replied relaxing back down into the grass.

    “But…I need to know now…" Julien said.

    “So, you’re saying Du don’t want me to bother Du at your habitat later on?” Marlene asked.

    “Well, now that Du mention it…"

    “Good. Now Du know how I feel.”

7) Ultimate Staring Contest

    Maurice woke with a yawn and a stretch on an early Saturday morning. When he turned to wake his king, he wasn’t Weiter to him where he’d turned in for the night. However, Mort was still snoozing away on the bouncy, snuggling with his tail. Maurice nudged him.

    “Mort? Mort, wake up,” he called.

    “No, no, Rodney…The feet are mine only…” Mort replied in his sleep. Maurice rolled his eyes.

    “Mort, you’re dreaming. Wake up!” he sagte nudging him a little harder. Mort slowly woke up and rubbed his eyes.

    “What?”

    “Do Du know where King Julien went?” Maurice asked. Mort shook his head and Maurice sighed. “Well, let’s go see what he’s up to so early in the morning.”

    Maurice trusted his first instincts and checked his majesty’s throne. Sure enough, Julien was sitting in his throne…Staring intently into a mirror.

    “King Julien? What are Du doing up so—”

    “Sh!” Julien interrupted. Maurice’s expression twisted into confusion and he lowered his voice.

    “What’s wrong? What are you—”

    “I sagte sh!” Julien repeated.

    Maurice cocked his head in curiosity and jumped when Julien threw his head back with a cry frustration.

    “Darn it, Maurice! Du broke my concentration!” he cried, refocusing his attention on the hand mirror.

    “What are Du doing?” Maurice asked.

    “If Du must know, I am having a staring contest with myself. But it’s difficult because I’m really good.”

8) Apocalypse

    While the penguins were doing their morning exercises, Julien dropped into their habitat in a panic.

    “Penguins! Penguins! Du must hide me immediately!” he cried.

    “What did Du do now, Ringtail?” Skipper asked rolling his eyes.

    “What? No! I didn’t do anything! Didn’t Du hear? It’s the robot apocalypse! I am king! I cannot be turning into a mindless lump of steel!” Julien explained.

    Kowalski leaned in closer to Skipper and whispered into his ear.

    “Probably watched Robots Attack 4 again, sir,” he proposed.

    Skipper nodded, then turned to Julien with a devious expression.

    “What made Du think it’d be safe, sicher here?” he asked.

    “Well, Du are going to be protecting me from the robots with your penguiny commando fighty moves!” Julien answered.

    “Well, how do Du know I’m not one?” Skipper inquired, moving toward him in a jerking motion.

    Julien’s eyes widened and he took of running, screaming at the oben, nach oben of his lungs. When Skipper turned back to the team in satisfaction, they were all giving him unamused stares.

    “What?” Skipper asked.

    “Was that really necessary?” Kowalski replied.

    “Well, let’s see. Years of getting on my last nerves and leaving none of my buttons unpushed resulting in immature payback? Uh, yeah. I’d say it was,” Skipper answered with a devious grin plastered across his face that a young boy might wear after pulling a girls’ hair.

    Kowalski thought for a moment.

    “Yeah, good point.”

9) Ambush

    On a bright sunny morning, Skipper and Marlene were walking through Central Park.

    “It’s a lovely morning, isn’t it, Skipper?” Marlene asked admiring a colorful schmetterling that flew across their path.

    “It’s fine, I guess. But I still don’t understand why Du brought me out here,” Skipper replied.

    “Because! Du need to learn how to relax a little!” Marlene replied giving him a hard stare.

    “I don’t have time to relax! Who knows what dangers are prowling out there right now while I’m on a nature walk!” Skipper argued.

    “Skipper, I think if there were anything to worry about, Du would’ve known Von now,” Marlene sagte rolling her eyes.

    Skipper laughed.

    “Marlene, you’d be surprised how many situations arise in the blink of an eye. Someone could be watching us this very moment…” Skipper sagte eyeing the bushes suspiciously.

    “Skipper, I think we’re safe, sicher right now,” Marlene insisted.

    “That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Marlene! Du don’t think. Du feel. And I feel like we’re being watched!” Skipper shot back.

    “Skipper, you’re just paranoid! Can’t Du just enjoy what life has to offer Du for once?” Marlene begged.

    “Because I—”

    He was interrupted when a rustling sound erupted from the busch they were passing by. He pushed Marlene behind him and poised himself for combat.

    “See, Marlene? This is what I’m talking about! Du never know when you’re enemies are about to attack! A few Mehr Sekunden and Du and I wouldn’t be having this conversation,” he explained over his shoulder. “Show yourself!” he ordered turning back to the bush.

    Marlene peered over his shoulder just as something emerged from the busch and she sighed.

    “Oh, I’m sorry, Skipper. I didn’t realize that it was inevitable that we were going to be mauled Von a bunny.”

10) Rise and Shine

    The alarm sounded for wake-up at precisely 0600 and Skipper, Private, and Rico pulled themselves out of bed. When Skipper realized that Kowalski remained in a slumber, he nudged him.

    “Kowalski, it’s time to wake up!” he called.

    Kowalski stirred.

    “Stop it, Doris! I’m ticklish!” he sagte in his sleep.

    Skipper rolled his eyes. “Kowalski, it’s me, Skipper. Wake up!”

    “I Liebe you, too!”

    Skipper smacked his forehead, then leaned in closer to Kowalski’s face.

    “Kowalski, I have an electromagnetic quantum disintegrator strahl, ray with dynamism settings for you,” he called. Kowalski’s eyes popped open and he sat up with a start.

    “Where?!” he asked eagerly.

    “Welcome back to reality, Kowalski. I wonder how Doris would feel about Du ditching your dream about her for a strahl, ray that doesn’t exist.”

***

[1]    I actually had two ideas for this one. The one I decided to use, and the other was to end it with Skipper asking Julien how he knew he wasn't already a clone just to get him to go away, and Julien replying with, "It is very possible…I look exactly like myself!" But I assumed that Skipper would Mehr likely respond with what I left it at.

[II]    This takes place after The pinguin Who Loved Me.

[III]    This takes place following the Operation: Neighbor Swap episode.

[IV]    For those who don't know, Friday the 13th is a horror movie.

[V]    Inspiration from this came from Seinfeld.
An unknown place, 2359.

"Honestly, when will we be able to act?", a mysterious female voice said. "Never! We are the worst parts of all living beings!"
"Sharon...how dumb Du are!" A male voice said. "Alter-egos are the most powerful beings in the universe! I, as your leader, I have risked so much for all of us."
"Okay...I will pretend I believe in you. But...when we will act?"
"Heheh...exactly now."


Central Park Zoo, Penguins Habitat, 0000.

"Ugh...Blowhole...what are...you doing...", Skipper was having a nightmare. He was feeling that the nightmare was so real..."No!", Skipper cried.

He thought...
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posted by Bluepenguin
 "W-who's there?"...
"W-who's there?"...
Seems like the sound came from over on the east side...

Skipper waddles slowly through the zoo. Nothing seemed to be out of place; everyone was sleeping encaged in their habitats under the crescent moon, oder if nocturnal, minding their own business. The silence was so crushing that Skipper could hear his own herz thump unnaturally in his chest, like a percussionist playing the bongos.

Before anything else, I need to find witnesses and clues.

A whimper comes from above Skipper's head. He looks up to discover that he is standing right beside Leonard's tree.

Maybe I can get some info out of him; of...
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posted by SPKR689
A/N: Soo, my first ligit fanfiction. (Not including the other one) I have taken time out of my school Tag to write this and I am quite happy on how it is turning out. I will say once again that it will be a bit confusing considering it takes place far in my own mind, but fresh in all of yours. Please, feel free to ask me anything and I will explain it untill Du understand it. Do not hold back on Fragen oder anything. If Du don't want to ask something out loud, Du know I'm always on meebo and Du can Posteingang me. :) This is just the prologue so I will give crackin on the other chapters real...
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posted by Katie_Kat200
I already had this typed up, I just held it until later because I like to torture Du guys >XD Anyway, Hey look, she wrote another chapter! I wonder how this is gonna go? Probably terrible for her DX. I'm not gonna bother with OC's anymore. I'm just gonna go with what I have now. Lilly's awesome, and I have Marlene because she's awesome and understanding about... feelings... I think. Anyway! YES! As I have sagte before Marlene will be in the fan-fic, but I can garuntee there will be no Skilene. Hopefully, Marlene will find someone... Lets just get on with the story :D

Skipper’s head was...
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This is my first fanfic sooo quoting Thumper's mom from Bambi "If Du don't have anything nice to say,don't say anything at all." XD
_____________________________________________________________________________________

It was a normal morning at the HQ;Skipper drinking fisch coffee,Rico looking at "Kaboom Weekly" Magazine,Kowalski working on his latest invention,Private watching "Lunicorn"and Jazzy was drawing.
It was also a normal afternoon;training,saving,yelling at Ringtail for blasting his boombox.It twas night when things became abnormal.Kowalski finished his invention,the Star-O-Tron 2000...
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The forest seemed to go on for hours on end, all the sounds of birds and insects were replaced Von the sounds of demonic laughter, growls, roars, and yelping. "Skippah, it's so scary here, who knows what'll pop out next?" asked Private. "At least we got some idea of what we're up against. Dr. Murdoch must be a sadistic man," sagte Kowalski. "Or he could be a demonic monster himself, sitting in a cell waiting to eat and devour us," sagte Skipper. "Wait, what did that Digger guy say again? Find the woman with the mirrors?" asked Marlene. "Yes, but there is no women in this forest except for you...
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posted by LifelessPenguin
MANY SAY THAT THE HIDDEN WILL BE REVEALED SOMEDAY. Enough for that. Just a reminder on what will happen in the middle of the story.

The name's Private. Has three Mehr pinguin Friends named Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico. I'm nice, energetic, cuddly, and friendly. I have a British accent. Let us just say there is something hidden.

The sky gods granted Julien's wish of letting snow flakes fall out of the sky on the 21st Tag of May. This is the first time in American history that it snowed on May 21. Kids had a field trip in the Central Park Zoo. It was a fine Tag today.

Alarm bells rang. Sirens...
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posted by skipperfan5431
Lilly closed Rico's eyes, and sadly walked twoards Marlene. " So...what did he say?" Marlene asked. Lilly's voice trembled as she spoke. " H-he wanted me to tell Juliete he loves her. Let's just keep going okay." Then she led the way to their Weiter game. Suprisingly, Marlene and Lilly walked into a super bright room with light grey wallpaper. " I wonder who's in here......." Marlene said, poking her head out from behind Lilly's back. In the overwhealming light, Marlene was able to find a large, black tape recorder. " Wait! This is Skipper's!" She realized. Lilly's herz sank in her chest. (This...
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posted by 67Dodge
'You alright Lily?' asked Skipper. The whole even took them Von storm. 'I'm fine, okay? Don't freak out Skipper,' reassured Lily. 'Any insight as to why Private killed all those girls?' asked Skipper. 'Yes and no apparently,' sagte the Psychiatrist. 'What do Du mean Von 'yes and no'?! There's only one answer to everything!!' yelled Skipper. 'Uh uh Skipper, that's where you're wrong, Du see, Private's mother is quite alive oh yes,' replied the Psychiatrist. 'But she's dead!! I even saw her mummified corpse in-' was all Lily could say before being interupted. 'Wrong again!! She's alive in Private's...
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All Marlene could do was watch helplessly linto Lilly's angry blue eyes as she was being choked. She could hear the guys banging on the enterance to the HQ, trying to get to Marlene before their teammate mangled her. Then, Lilly did what she had wanted to do the whole time. She gave Marlene a BIG hug! (Don't worry Du Marlene fans, she's still alive. *for NOW....*) "Huh!?" Marlene asked , releasing the air that had built up inside her lungs. " Come on! I wasn't gonna kill you! I just wanted Du to tell me who Du liked." sagte Lilly with a smile. " I didn't want to hurt you. I thought the only...
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posted by JediPenguin16
Seven Abominations

Here's the rundown:

One-Oldest, black feathers and white belly, beak, otter ears, bird feet, paws, otter tail, Male, blue-eyes.

Two-Female, black pelz with white foot, beak, otter ears, otter tail, flippers, bird feet, Female, blue eyes. Closest to One.

Three- Brown fur, gray feathery belly and face, brown eyes, no tail, paws, pinguin beak. otter ears.

Two Fours. Four #1- Completely covered in white fur, brown eyes, otter face and tail, flippers, otter ears, bird feet. Female.

Four #2-Missing. Male.

Five-black, with unique white markings close to otter, brown eyes,paws, pinguin feet....
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CHAPTER 4: King Julien’s Obst Salad
Marlene was just about to serve abendessen for Skipper when they both heard a loud voice coming out from upstairs. They saw all sorts of fruits: bananas, coconuts, pineapples and pears, falling down on the ground one after another.
Skipper didn’t have to wait for King Julien to appear, he already knew who was the cause of all the commotion.
“Ringtail!” he cried, pressing his flipper to his aching forehead. “What is it this time?! Throwing fruits all over our HQ? What has got into you? Seriously, Marlene, that monkey is going crazier Von each day!”
“He-heeeh!...
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TDH: This one's slow, but the Weiter one shall be interesting.

"And then she stuffed the device back under her pillow!" Skipper, Private, and Rico watched Kowalski in awe as he resites last night's experience. Nameless and Camille left for a stroll around the zoo about an Stunde ago.

Skipper, though satisfied with Mehr proof supporting the case of Nameless being a spy, seemed a bit skeptical.
"You're sure of what Du saw, Kowalski?"

"104% positive!"

"Okay, lets see." Skipper waddled over to Nameless's bunk. He picked up the pillow. There was nothing there. Skipper turned back to Kowalski, his eyes narrowed....
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Note: This chapter is not in Nathan's PoV. Read on and you'll see why.

************

It had been a week since the mission with X. Private woke up first, much to his surprise. Stretching, he yawned and jumped down from his bed. As he looked around, Private felt as if something was missing. He looked around again and soon discovered what. "Everybody wake up! Nathan's gone!"

Wide awake, the other penguins flipped out of their bunks. "What?" asked Skipper.

Wordlessly, Private pointed to the empty bunk. Kowalski waddled over to it. He spied a note on the bett and picked it up. "He left a note."

"What does...
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"Does anyone besides me feel an odd sense of déjà vu?" asked Kowalski.

"I do," sagte Skipper.

Rico nodded vigorously. "Uh huh!"

"Just a little," noted Private.

"I take it you've all been here before," I said. "Turn left!"

Skipper turned left just in time. The rest of us followed. "Thanks for trusting me," I said.

"Instinct," replied Skipper. "Years of military ordering programmed me to obey a direct order on the first thought."

"Really?" sagte Kowalski.

Skipper glanced back at him. "Don't even try it, oder I'll give Du maintenance duty for a month."

He turned my gaze to me. "May I ask why Du chose left?"...
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added by Sandrei
added by jackandjill2
Source: MEEE
added by SavioDURP
added by SJF_Penguin2
"Fish!"
video
Die Pinguine aus Madagascar
herring impaired
nickelodeon
fisch
skipper
kowalski
rico
private