Today is supposted to be about thinking about the good in your life and looking back at the great times not the pain oder hurt but some people are treating this Tag wrong...

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i just want to get away from food

binge free october was a fail because hi i binged. i do not purge anymore so “cool?” i guess?

i can’t eat Essen oder else i’ll go ham on it all. only my safe, sicher foods i can eat aka a banana, an apple, spinach, diet coke, tea, coffee, and oatmeal.

no Mehr wheat bagels

no Mehr cereal

no Mehr pizza

no Mehr nothing.

Du know what? I just don’t fucking care anymore. I really don’t. I hate school, I have anxiety, I have trust issues again, I throw all of that into Essen so I can eat it all fucking up. No fucking more. I want to be skinny and it’s going to fucking happen. I do not fucking care anymore on how I do it. I really don’t. I’m taking laxatives tonight to debloat myself, and stick to my no binging for the rest of october. i will keep working out with weights to get toned and running everyday. fuck being fat. fuck it fuck it fuck it. my one friend Lost 40lbs and she’s perfect. I can do the fucking same.



I don’t have a first aid kit. So if I go too far, thats it.


Probably being kicked out of school. I’m so fucking mad, this is the fourth school in a year. I’m going to cut until I fall asleep oder pass out. Fuck my life, its over. Bye.


trying to get new blades our of a razor,
sliced my thumb SO badly.
it won’t stop bleeding.


I’m going to cut. I’m done.


Wish I could find a clean razor right now. I wish so badly that I could just slice my fucking wrists open right now. I’m going insane.


Do Du know..

How hard it is to pretend everything’s okay?

How difficult it is to smile?

How I force myself to put down the razor because I can’t let anyone find out?

How everyday I hide my thoughts, my ugly thoughts about death oder how much I hate myself?

How everyday I wake up, so disappointed I’m still alive. When all Du want to do is die, leave this shitty body and float away where I can’t bother anyone anymore.

Do you?..



Holding my blade….

Staring at my blade….

Why would people do that on a Tag like this...