Today is supposted to be about thinking about the good in your life and looking back at the great times not the pain oder hurt but some people are treating this Tag wrong...
Tumblr....
i just want to get away from food
binge free october was a fail because hi i binged. i do not purge anymore so “cool?” i guess?
i can’t eat Essen oder else i’ll go ham on it all. only my safe, sicher foods i can eat aka a banana, an apple, spinach, diet coke, tea, coffee, and oatmeal.
no Mehr wheat bagels
no Mehr cereal
no Mehr pizza
no Mehr nothing.
Du know what? I just don’t fucking care anymore. I really don’t. I hate school, I have anxiety, I have trust issues again, I throw all of that into Essen so I can eat it all fucking up. No fucking more. I want to be skinny and it’s going to fucking happen. I do not fucking care anymore on how I do it. I really don’t. I’m taking laxatives tonight to debloat myself, and stick to my no binging for the rest of october. i will keep working out with weights to get toned and running everyday. fuck being fat. fuck it fuck it fuck it. my one friend Lost 40lbs and she’s perfect. I can do the fucking same.
I don’t have a first aid kit. So if I go too far, thats it.
Probably being kicked out of school. I’m so fucking mad, this is the fourth school in a year. I’m going to cut until I fall asleep oder pass out. Fuck my life, its over. Bye.
trying to get new blades our of a razor,
sliced my thumb SO badly.
it won’t stop bleeding.
I’m going to cut. I’m done.
Wish I could find a clean razor right now. I wish so badly that I could just slice my fucking wrists open right now. I’m going insane.
Do Du know..
How hard it is to pretend everything’s okay?
How difficult it is to smile?
How I force myself to put down the razor because I can’t let anyone find out?
How everyday I hide my thoughts, my ugly thoughts about death oder how much I hate myself?
How everyday I wake up, so disappointed I’m still alive. When all Du want to do is die, leave this shitty body and float away where I can’t bother anyone anymore.
Do you?..
Holding my blade….
Staring at my blade….
Why would people do that on a Tag like this...
Tumblr....
i just want to get away from food
binge free october was a fail because hi i binged. i do not purge anymore so “cool?” i guess?
i can’t eat Essen oder else i’ll go ham on it all. only my safe, sicher foods i can eat aka a banana, an apple, spinach, diet coke, tea, coffee, and oatmeal.
no Mehr wheat bagels
no Mehr cereal
no Mehr pizza
no Mehr nothing.
Du know what? I just don’t fucking care anymore. I really don’t. I hate school, I have anxiety, I have trust issues again, I throw all of that into Essen so I can eat it all fucking up. No fucking more. I want to be skinny and it’s going to fucking happen. I do not fucking care anymore on how I do it. I really don’t. I’m taking laxatives tonight to debloat myself, and stick to my no binging for the rest of october. i will keep working out with weights to get toned and running everyday. fuck being fat. fuck it fuck it fuck it. my one friend Lost 40lbs and she’s perfect. I can do the fucking same.
I don’t have a first aid kit. So if I go too far, thats it.
Probably being kicked out of school. I’m so fucking mad, this is the fourth school in a year. I’m going to cut until I fall asleep oder pass out. Fuck my life, its over. Bye.
trying to get new blades our of a razor,
sliced my thumb SO badly.
it won’t stop bleeding.
I’m going to cut. I’m done.
Wish I could find a clean razor right now. I wish so badly that I could just slice my fucking wrists open right now. I’m going insane.
Do Du know..
How hard it is to pretend everything’s okay?
How difficult it is to smile?
How I force myself to put down the razor because I can’t let anyone find out?
How everyday I hide my thoughts, my ugly thoughts about death oder how much I hate myself?
How everyday I wake up, so disappointed I’m still alive. When all Du want to do is die, leave this shitty body and float away where I can’t bother anyone anymore.
Do you?..
Holding my blade….
Staring at my blade….
Why would people do that on a Tag like this...
Dear Self
What if Du don’t wake up tomorrow?
What if this is your last Tag on this earth?
What if that two Minute conversation Du had with your mother two hours ago, was the last time Du ever spoke to her?
What if Du never ever would hear him laugh, see his smile oder talk to him ever again?
What if Du later this night take your last breath?
What then?
Would Du be proud of the life Du have lived?
Will Du regret something that Du did oder did not say?
Would Du be proud of how people would remember you?
Would Du regret not taking Mehr chances, oder not telling him what Du really feel for him?
I see a world of darkness and my hands are shaking..
My legs are numb..
My eyes heavy..
My herz racing..
Blacking out..
Will pills in my hands..
Hoping that they'll end the pain and I'll sleep forever..
Maybe this will be my last goodbye..
My final breath..
What if Du don’t wake up tomorrow?
What if this is your last Tag on this earth?
What if that two Minute conversation Du had with your mother two hours ago, was the last time Du ever spoke to her?
What if Du never ever would hear him laugh, see his smile oder talk to him ever again?
What if Du later this night take your last breath?
What then?
Would Du be proud of the life Du have lived?
Will Du regret something that Du did oder did not say?
Would Du be proud of how people would remember you?
Would Du regret not taking Mehr chances, oder not telling him what Du really feel for him?
I see a world of darkness and my hands are shaking..
My legs are numb..
My eyes heavy..
My herz racing..
Blacking out..
Will pills in my hands..
Hoping that they'll end the pain and I'll sleep forever..
Maybe this will be my last goodbye..
My final breath..
