Today is supposted to be about thinking about the good in your life and looking back at the great times not the pain oder hurt but some people are treating this Tag wrong...
Tumblr....
i just want to get away from food
binge free october was a fail because hi i binged. i do not purge anymore so “cool?” i guess?
i can’t eat Essen oder else i’ll go ham on it all. only my safe, sicher foods i can eat aka a banana, an apple, spinach, diet coke, tea, coffee, and oatmeal.
no Mehr wheat bagels
no Mehr cereal
no Mehr pizza
no Mehr nothing.
Du know what? I just don’t fucking care anymore. I really don’t. I hate school, I have anxiety, I have trust issues again, I throw all of that into Essen so I can eat it all fucking up. No fucking more. I want to be skinny and it’s going to fucking happen. I do not fucking care anymore on how I do it. I really don’t. I’m taking laxatives tonight to debloat myself, and stick to my no binging for the rest of october. i will keep working out with weights to get toned and running everyday. fuck being fat. fuck it fuck it fuck it. my one friend Lost 40lbs and she’s perfect. I can do the fucking same.
I don’t have a first aid kit. So if I go too far, thats it.
Probably being kicked out of school. I’m so fucking mad, this is the fourth school in a year. I’m going to cut until I fall asleep oder pass out. Fuck my life, its over. Bye.
trying to get new blades our of a razor,
sliced my thumb SO badly.
it won’t stop bleeding.
I’m going to cut. I’m done.
Wish I could find a clean razor right now. I wish so badly that I could just slice my fucking wrists open right now. I’m going insane.
Do Du know..
How hard it is to pretend everything’s okay?
How difficult it is to smile?
How I force myself to put down the razor because I can’t let anyone find out?
How everyday I hide my thoughts, my ugly thoughts about death oder how much I hate myself?
How everyday I wake up, so disappointed I’m still alive. When all Du want to do is die, leave this shitty body and float away where I can’t bother anyone anymore.
Do you?..
Holding my blade….
Staring at my blade….
Why would people do that on a Tag like this...
Tumblr....
i just want to get away from food
binge free october was a fail because hi i binged. i do not purge anymore so “cool?” i guess?
i can’t eat Essen oder else i’ll go ham on it all. only my safe, sicher foods i can eat aka a banana, an apple, spinach, diet coke, tea, coffee, and oatmeal.
no Mehr wheat bagels
no Mehr cereal
no Mehr pizza
no Mehr nothing.
Du know what? I just don’t fucking care anymore. I really don’t. I hate school, I have anxiety, I have trust issues again, I throw all of that into Essen so I can eat it all fucking up. No fucking more. I want to be skinny and it’s going to fucking happen. I do not fucking care anymore on how I do it. I really don’t. I’m taking laxatives tonight to debloat myself, and stick to my no binging for the rest of october. i will keep working out with weights to get toned and running everyday. fuck being fat. fuck it fuck it fuck it. my one friend Lost 40lbs and she’s perfect. I can do the fucking same.
I don’t have a first aid kit. So if I go too far, thats it.
Probably being kicked out of school. I’m so fucking mad, this is the fourth school in a year. I’m going to cut until I fall asleep oder pass out. Fuck my life, its over. Bye.
trying to get new blades our of a razor,
sliced my thumb SO badly.
it won’t stop bleeding.
I’m going to cut. I’m done.
Wish I could find a clean razor right now. I wish so badly that I could just slice my fucking wrists open right now. I’m going insane.
Do Du know..
How hard it is to pretend everything’s okay?
How difficult it is to smile?
How I force myself to put down the razor because I can’t let anyone find out?
How everyday I hide my thoughts, my ugly thoughts about death oder how much I hate myself?
How everyday I wake up, so disappointed I’m still alive. When all Du want to do is die, leave this shitty body and float away where I can’t bother anyone anymore.
Do you?..
Holding my blade….
Staring at my blade….
Why would people do that on a Tag like this...
1.I'am not as peaceful as I may seem...
2.I'am known for horrible reasons...
3.I hate myself for the things I've done to myself, such as break my own arm...on pupose.
4.I lie....
5.As much as I tal about peace, I always prevent it..
5.My brothers take me for ganted...
6.I have taken a life once..
7.I'am just another bad Quelle of destruction sometimes..
8.I get really defensive when ever they talk about my parents..
9.I have scars from the beatings I took...
10.I'am quite a pervert, not to my Friends though..
This isn't even half of the bad things about me. If Du knew all the pain I've gon through, It would make Du go insane. I have suffered too much from pain. It makes my head ache if I ever think of my pain.... It makes me cry until it hurts whenever I remeber me hurting myself. I hope this dosen't make Du hate me even more...
2.I'am known for horrible reasons...
3.I hate myself for the things I've done to myself, such as break my own arm...on pupose.
4.I lie....
5.As much as I tal about peace, I always prevent it..
5.My brothers take me for ganted...
6.I have taken a life once..
7.I'am just another bad Quelle of destruction sometimes..
8.I get really defensive when ever they talk about my parents..
9.I have scars from the beatings I took...
10.I'am quite a pervert, not to my Friends though..
This isn't even half of the bad things about me. If Du knew all the pain I've gon through, It would make Du go insane. I have suffered too much from pain. It makes my head ache if I ever think of my pain.... It makes me cry until it hurts whenever I remeber me hurting myself. I hope this dosen't make Du hate me even more...
Disappear
Can't Du feel me?
Can't Du feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't Du see the crack in my heart?
And then I'll be all alone
Just me and my shattered heart
Can't Du see me disappear?
Can't Du see my despair?
Can't Du see I'd rather die
Then ever have to say goodbye?
Obviously Du don't
Because Du let me disappear
Du don't Liebe me
Du don't care
Du sat there
and watched me disappear
Cant Du feel me?
Can't Du see?
Can't Du see I've disappeared?
Cant Du see my crys of despair?
Can't Du see I'd rather die
then ever have to say goodbye?
Hello?
Are Du there?
Can Du help me
Before I disappear?
Cant Du see others like me
Dead in there own pool of blood?
oder am I gone?
Cuz Du act like it, hon,
Am I really already gone?
Can't Du feel me?
Can't Du feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't Du see the crack in my heart?
Can't Du see me?
Don't Du care?
No
Because Du let me
Disappear
Can't Du feel me?
Can't Du feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't Du see the crack in my heart?
And then I'll be all alone
Just me and my shattered heart
Can't Du see me disappear?
Can't Du see my despair?
Can't Du see I'd rather die
Then ever have to say goodbye?
Obviously Du don't
Because Du let me disappear
Du don't Liebe me
Du don't care
Du sat there
and watched me disappear
Cant Du feel me?
Can't Du see?
Can't Du see I've disappeared?
Cant Du see my crys of despair?
Can't Du see I'd rather die
then ever have to say goodbye?
Hello?
Are Du there?
Can Du help me
Before I disappear?
Cant Du see others like me
Dead in there own pool of blood?
oder am I gone?
Cuz Du act like it, hon,
Am I really already gone?
Can't Du feel me?
Can't Du feel the pain?
Yeah words hurt,
Can't Du see the crack in my heart?
Can't Du see me?
Don't Du care?
No
Because Du let me
Disappear
