I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).
This is a little graphic for those of Du who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no Vampire and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 Sekunden after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re Lesen a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: oder Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story oder a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I Liebe you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 Sekunden before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella Barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is oder what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her Von Alice oder Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with Musik and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time oder another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The Autor will almost always sneak in at least one book oder movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out Von Edward watching her sleep
This is a little graphic for those of Du who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no Vampire and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 Sekunden after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re Lesen a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: oder Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story oder a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I Liebe you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 Sekunden before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella Barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is oder what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her Von Alice oder Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with Musik and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time oder another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The Autor will almost always sneak in at least one book oder movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out Von Edward watching her sleep
Looking Nessie in the face at the airport was harder than a challenge I went through as a wolf.
"Promise Du won't forget me?" My voice was kind of shallow and.... I couldn't describe it.
"Never." The defiance in her voice was comforting.
"Even though you'll be in France." France. Bloody miles away.
"Jake, don't do this to me. Rosalie did my make up, and I like it. And anyway, I'll only be away for a few weeks. It'll go very quick." if I continue building the house, then yes. Bt that s unlikely.
"I'll miss you."
"Me too."
I roped an arm round Nessie for a last hug. Then, with her eyes misted over, she left. I walked out to the Rabbit, and all the way I felt like she had taken half my herz with her. Renesmee, come back, I silently wished as I started up the old Rabbit. I knew that, for 3 weeks, she would drip into my mind like a leaky faucet. Splash, splash, sploosh. Renesmee, Renesmee, Nessie.
"Promise Du won't forget me?" My voice was kind of shallow and.... I couldn't describe it.
"Never." The defiance in her voice was comforting.
"Even though you'll be in France." France. Bloody miles away.
"Jake, don't do this to me. Rosalie did my make up, and I like it. And anyway, I'll only be away for a few weeks. It'll go very quick." if I continue building the house, then yes. Bt that s unlikely.
"I'll miss you."
"Me too."
I roped an arm round Nessie for a last hug. Then, with her eyes misted over, she left. I walked out to the Rabbit, and all the way I felt like she had taken half my herz with her. Renesmee, come back, I silently wished as I started up the old Rabbit. I knew that, for 3 weeks, she would drip into my mind like a leaky faucet. Splash, splash, sploosh. Renesmee, Renesmee, Nessie.
Twilighters, Du did it! Du asked a bazillion times, and now your wish has been granted: Stephenie Meyer has finished Midnight Sun, and will release it this May!
The book is the retelling of Twilight from Edward's golden eyes. So, basically, the most beautiful book ever. And one we're sure to get Lost in.
"I've always wanted to finish this book, and the Fans have been so great, I knew I had to do it for them," the Autor revealed Tuesday (March 31) at a book signing in Las Bromas, California. "I enjoyed this so much, I'm going to begin work on Full Moon, which is New Moon told through Jacob's perspective."
Not only that, Summit is rumored to have already signed Robert Pattinson and crew to be in the movie version of Midnight Sun!
The book is the retelling of Twilight from Edward's golden eyes. So, basically, the most beautiful book ever. And one we're sure to get Lost in.
"I've always wanted to finish this book, and the Fans have been so great, I knew I had to do it for them," the Autor revealed Tuesday (March 31) at a book signing in Las Bromas, California. "I enjoyed this so much, I'm going to begin work on Full Moon, which is New Moon told through Jacob's perspective."
Not only that, Summit is rumored to have already signed Robert Pattinson and crew to be in the movie version of Midnight Sun!
Renesme's POV
After hours of weeping, I stopped walked over to my dresser and threw a maroon jacke on, I then put my hair up with a rubber-band knowing it would hurt my hair later. I was going to sneak out, I slipped on some Converse and made some recordings on my laptop, So if mom oder dad try to come in I would have something recorded. I had 5 recordings set. 1: "No thanks" 2:Go away!" 3: I dont want to talk right now sorry" 4: Im not hungry. 5:I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. It was pretty corny but eh what else can I do? I thought. When i was all done I slipped out my window and jumped to the ground. When I was sure no one was watching I dashed off in the direction of Alice's house.
After hours of weeping, I stopped walked over to my dresser and threw a maroon jacke on, I then put my hair up with a rubber-band knowing it would hurt my hair later. I was going to sneak out, I slipped on some Converse and made some recordings on my laptop, So if mom oder dad try to come in I would have something recorded. I had 5 recordings set. 1: "No thanks" 2:Go away!" 3: I dont want to talk right now sorry" 4: Im not hungry. 5:I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. It was pretty corny but eh what else can I do? I thought. When i was all done I slipped out my window and jumped to the ground. When I was sure no one was watching I dashed off in the direction of Alice's house.