Du Know What's Bulls**t

Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pocket and say, "Oops, I forgot."
Ask the person Weiter to Du if they know how to tap into top-secret pentagon files.
Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Löschen key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever Du hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
Borrow someone else's keyboard Von reaching over, saying "Excuse...

Hi there fanpoppers =) So I was thinking about some of the things that drive me mad, pet peeves and all that, and I happened to open an chain mail form a friend with these things on, and they all fit me perfectly!! I also added some Mehr that I came up with too, hope Du enjoy!




1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is?




2. People who are willing to get off their butt to Suchen the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change...

Mysterious love
-chapter six-

As we walked down the hall he looked like he wanted too say something but he didnt.
So I said"Is there somthing wrong,do I look bad oder somthing?"
no Du look beautiful dont ever think Du are not the prettyest thing in the world" He said
"I am sorry." He said...

"For what mathew?"I said
"For upsetting you." "You didnt dont worry" I said

By then we had reached the art room when the teacher sagte "Class Du will need a piece of paper."
We both sat down in our seats and took out a piece of paper and then the teacher sagte "I want Du to draw what ever Du feel in your heart.What...

1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your halsband, kragen and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When Du get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when Du reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a spatel, spachtel and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....

-It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

-People say "Bless you" when Du sneeze because when Du sneeze, your herz stops for a millisecond.

-It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky

-111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-All polar bears are left handed.

-Butterflies taste with their feet.

-A schnecke can sleep for three years.

-Elephants are the only Tiere that can't jump

-On average, people fear spiders Mehr than they do death.

-The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

-Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

-Men can read smaller print than women,...

Ride mechanical Pferde with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at GAP. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream “My SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
Ask the sales personnel at the Musik store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos oder rubles.
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King . . . but save a few...

Act like Du know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their Fragen with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...