Beyoncé - Single Ladies (feat. Justin Timberlake)

added by purplefreak855

video

Musik

funny

Sonic777 likes this

2

posted by ultimatefredde

1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something Du aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner oder later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what Du really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, oder take her to dinner, also sometimes a card oder a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, Du wont die...

8

Why Guys Liebe Girls ?

posted by JonasLuver1

Why Guys Liebe Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they KISS Du ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though Du both know she’s the most beautiful...

7

Funny excuse letters

posted by ilovetech29

1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a baum and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...

3

Arnold Schwarzenegger (how it really happened)

posted by Schnusch

Just Lesen some of the Terminator Zitate through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!

Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash Tag tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.

I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. Du might get annoyed Von it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.

5

Chuck Norris jokes

posted by lloonny

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a herz attack. His herz isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Du don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feuer with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....

2

How to be Zufällig

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if Du are TRULY random, Du shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever Du may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases oder monologues oder pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of Friends oder logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if Du got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and Du can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...

2

Bella Thorne's REAL ghost experience: from ASTROgirl magazine

posted by DxCFan123

"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and Von brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in bett and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...

3

Mamma Mia Luigi

posted by yoshifan1976

Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse pfirsich was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", pfirsich told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a KISS and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. gänseblümchen, daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...

1

Reverse thinspo

added by loonybug

Source: tumblr

13

What I Hate...

posted by hetalianstella

This is in no particular order.

- I hate how people automatically assume Du are Chinese just because you're Asian, oder automatically assume Du are Mexican just because Du are Hispanic.

- How people always say they COULD care less when they COULDN'T care less!

- When people use an elevator.....for one floor!

- Perverts....I mean, I don't hate perverts. Some of my best Friends are perverts. But I'm not a pervert, so don't act like a pervert around me. Anywhere else is fine, but please respect my asexuality.

- When people overuse lol.
Especially when there is nothing funny!
Same with OMG. I...