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Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make Liebe with Du
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until Du find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit Du first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of Du shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give Du a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...

Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that Du "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that Du haven't received enough Schokolade sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every Frage with another question. As soon as one of Du says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...