Next Previous

The B*tches guide to Etiquette

added by KateKicksAss

Source: thebitchesguidetoetiquette.tumblr.com

Foto

Zufällig

picture

funny

feminist

hündin

guide

to

etiquette

reb1009 and Hot_n_cold like this

Leah and Pie's 12 Days of not-so Weihnachten

posted by Cyrusrocks

My friend, Pie-102, and I wrote this last year. It it definatly random.

On the first Tag of Weihnachten my true Liebe gave to me, a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the Sekunde Tag of Weihnachten my true Liebe gave to me, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the third Tag of Weihnachten my true Liebe gave to me, three moving signs, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the fourth Tag of Weihnachten my true Liebe gave to me, four suburban trucks, baum moving signs, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush
On the fifth Tag of Cristmas my true love...

Okay a Halloween story but technically its not a scary story cause its a trues story but it is scary

posted by Free_Spirit

Me: okay i actually found this story in my local newspaer from 20 years back. And i'll put a symbol for town names. I don't want rapists oder pheaodifiles coming to my town... okay lets begin. And i shall have to give some background history. Well at there was a renovation going on at $ which was between # and &, for an old mental asylum to be converted into a power house musuem. Anyway so this story takes place then. I think i'm not sure of dates.
$ was a small town, very small as in like only three -5 thousande people
ps. Von the way i really wanted a long title

okay so in Australia out in...

5

Leaving {CHAPTER 3}

posted by Yama

I went into my room after being Lost in thought. It was only then I felt the sea sickness. Well I was out on the deck for a little too long. Okay now I certainly knew that was a really bad idea. I went for a dusche to see if the heat would shrug off the sickness. I got out of the dusche feeling fresh, but also funny. I heard Emily in my room. I shouted," Emily I'll be right there!"
I heard her calling back,"Okay!". I got into my new dress for I knew abendessen was soon. I may as well put it on now rather than having to do it later, i thought. I seen Emily she was dressed for abendessen too. She was...

1

Brooklyn Rage Lyrics

posted by InvaderCynder

Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh

I wanna duel 'em like they do in Yu-Gi-Oh
Face down face up trap cards spell cards then time roulette go (I Liebe it!)
All I do is just believe in the herz of the cards
And then I kick some butt when I use Swordsman of Landstar

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh
Ain't no surprise, check out my Red Eyes
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh
Ain't no surprise, check out my Red Eyes

Can't beat my
Can't beat my
No they can't beat my Brooklyn Rage
(I don't wanna be a furry)
Can't beat my...

426

60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

posted by CullenProperty

60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as Du are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let Du see us cry, unless we want Du to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if Du are interested. But we will later deny it oder make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot oder sexy. But not all of us

6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for Du (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if Du don't like what we wear...

57

23 Zufällig funny things to do at school .

posted by bellabrowneyes

found this stuff and i wanted to share with Du guys (girls) so enjoy !! =)

1.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

2.Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

3.Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person Weiter to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

4.When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

5.Sing your Fragen to the class.

6.Sit in...

57

Cute Nicknames for Boyfriends - oben, nach oben 20 Liste

posted by spunkyonyx

1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, oder to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get Du in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly Von giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the Weiter family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - Du may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin kappe and feed him grapes when...

94

333 Ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart (trust me it totally works)

posted by Dreamer4eva

I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping karte, warenkorb and switch the items with stuff from the person Weiter to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen Du in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of Du on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...

19

Funny as hell poems. MUST READ

posted by iluvsmj

When you're happy and Du know it bomb Iraq
If Du cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If Du never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If Du think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb...

9

Cute Emo Liebe Zitate

posted by invadercalliope

I am your forgotten dream,
Broken and unseen.

I hurt myself,
So I can feel alive.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one Du love,
Love someone else in return.

Don’t say Du Liebe me unless Du really mean it,
Cause I might do something crazy like believe it.

Feels like Du could KISS my imperfections away,
And I would stand Von your side until the sun turns the sky.

I swear to Du on everything I am,
And I dedicate to Du all that I have,
And I promise Du that I will stand right Von your side,
Forever and always, until the Tag I die.

I’m not crying over what Du said;
It’s what Du didn’t say that...

7

Funny Things To Do in The Bus

posted by ilovepenguins

I didn't write this!

Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When Du arrive at the Weiter stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If Du are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...

6

How to write in Pig Latin

posted by Saturnluv39

It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach Du all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.

2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.

example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay

example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray

Now Du know how to do it!
Now, if Du want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and Zeigen your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you

enter your translation results, and if Du win, Du get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If Du are a winner check everything on your profile.

22

Zufällig Unexplainable Pictures

added by JustHuddy

3

Should I have a cookie?

added by r-pattz

Source: tumblr, where else?

2

my Zufällig picture

added by popalj

3

Arnold Schwarzenegger (how it really happened)

posted by Schnusch

Just Lesen some of the Terminator Zitate through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!

Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash Tag tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.

I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. Du might get annoyed Von it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.

5

Chuck Norris jokes

posted by lloonny

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a herz attack. His herz isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Du don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feuer with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....

4

The Script to the episode Invader Zim:Nubs Of Doom

posted by invadercalliope

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids Von their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and Gir in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. Gir simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....

2

How to be Zufällig

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if Du are TRULY random, Du shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever Du may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases oder monologues oder pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of Friends oder logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if Du got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and Du can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...

2

Bella Thorne's REAL ghost experience: from ASTROgirl magazine

posted by DxCFan123

"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and Von brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in bett and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...