AHHH!!!

The scholar does not consider Gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.
Confucius
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain oder freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Elbert Green Hubbard

Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its herz the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Loyalty ... is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation.
Henry S. Commager
Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from...

Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until Du find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit Du first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of Du shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give Du a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...