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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find Mehr crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? Du are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor, this could be fun
"Your drunk" I said
"Your Sexy" He replied
"Okay who let Du watch family guy again...oh wait me"
"IM THE BLOODY KING OF ENGLAND AND I CANT DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE Du GIT!"
"Stop pissing me off im hungry"
"NEVEH!" Luca shouted before runnig downstairs and garding the fridge, i followed
"Let me get some pizza" I comanded
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
"SINCE WHEN ATE Du A DOG!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
I sighed and did the only thing i could think of, i tied some rope around his neck and tied him to the bin, he bit through
"IMMA LAMA NOW!"
"Aw fu-"
"HAVE Du SEEN THE muffin MAN THE muffin MAN THE muffin MAN"
I went to my last resort i had left, i ran upstair and threw on my police fancy dress, which happened to have a short skirt, my bro would be turned on which was not my plan, i also grabbed a water pistol
"FREEZE!" I shouted, jumping into the kitchen
Luca freezed who was now in his underwear whith two grapes up his nose
"BAM! Du BAD LITLE SOD!" Luca shouted attacking the toaster, he ignored me
I pointed the gun at him "COME WITH ME oder I'LL SHOOT"
I (eventuly) handcuffed him and led him to the his room
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Luca shouted repeatedly,
Now 17 mins past midnight I had Luca chained woth fake handcuff's to my bed, he was asleep
Adn that my Friends is the reason why we shall not give alcahol (or sugar in my case) to British people
Now if Du will excuse me Luca is bititng my toe and i wanna sleep
-A.C.
added by OuroborosSnyder
added by angel_cake
added by TwilighterSabby
Source: http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/2/
posted by nmdis
WRECKING BALL
We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A Liebe no one could deny

[Pre-Hook]
Don’t Du ever say I just walked away
I will always want Du
I can’t live a lie, running for my life
I will always want Du

[Hook 1]
I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in Liebe
All I wanted was to break your walls
All Du ever did was break me
Yeah, Du wreck me

[Verse 2]
I put Du high up in the sky
And now, you’re not coming down
It slowly turned, Du let me burn
And now, we’re ashes on the ground

[Pre-Hook & Hook...
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Over the years we will run into people that are complete imbecules. Sometimes they say completely stupid things, and act like they're smart. This is the 10 most dumbest things people have ever sagte to me

10. "If Du keep telling me about your stories I won't read them."

This was gepostet on my Fanpop Wand Von Pinkmare. She wanted to know about my latest fanfics, and I decided to post on her Wand letting her know what I was up to. She thought I was rushing her, even though I just told her about the story. I didn't even say "Read this immediately."

9. "Do Du want some beer?"

I was walking down the...
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posted by purplefreak855
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“This life is what Du make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is Du get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your Friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with Du through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best Friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll...
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posted by joe-kerr
Hey everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these Zitate are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000
    
19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours Von hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by mehere
oben, nach oben 24 Eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope Du like this one better than the first one please leave a Kommentar if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
previously on The Evil Teddy Bear: Tina saw a Cute looking Teddy bär and picked up from the self but when she put on the counter to buy it the sales man straight away took it off of the counter and sagte it wasnt for sale but then Jenni had an awesome idea and managed to get the Teddy bär the sales man gave the girls the Teddy bär for free but after they left and while they were walking the Teddy bär evil chuckled and its eyes turned red...

Tina unlocked the door to their house (forgot to mention that their also sisters)and they all walked in Peter put the Teddy bär ontop of the book case...
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1. People are Mehr likely to tilt their heads to the right when Küssen instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).

2.The oldest known Liebe song was written 4,000 years Vor and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

3.One in five long-term Liebe relationships began with one oder both partners being involved with others.

4.Falling in Liebe can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

5.Love can also exert the same stress on...
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 Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Not that anyone's interested, but here are my current oben, nach oben 11 female 'celebrities'.



1. Cheryl Cole. (yeah, I didn't think you'd be surprised.)
-Words just can't describe how much I Liebe this woman. If I try to then I'll take up this entire article.

2. Amy Lee.
- She has the most stunning voice, and she's absolutely beautiful; Evanescence wouldn't have ever been Evanescence without her. She's amazing.

3. Avril Lavigne.
- I'm a big Fan of her music. She's cool, she's cute, and with all this, she has amazing hair. :3

4. Hayley Williams.
- She also has amazing hair, like all the people on this Liste actually....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a herz attack. His herz isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Du don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feuer with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm Schreiben this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did oder are doing this, oder that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and Liebe and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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posted by Bella_Dhampir
1. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

2. "If Barbie is so popular, why do Du have to buy her friends?"

3. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," (Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes)

4. "There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. " (Benjamin Spock)

5. "Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." (Kathy Lette)

6. ""Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" (Homer Simspon)...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” Von the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains oder argues, reply with “What are Du gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with Du for Halloween

4. Zeigen him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile oder if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room oder says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” Von Madonna.
posted by invadercalliope
Hello i'm InvaderCalliope!
Emo Poems:
Poem number 1:
My tears are a sign of my fears,I've been drowning all these years.
I have to break out from this pain,Have to free me from this chain.
My herz is filling up inside,I cannot run,I cannot hide.
Hate is filling up my mind,Its Liebe i cannot find.
Poem number 2:
My Friends call me emo.
My mom makes jokes.
My sisters are worried.
I'm not Emo i say.
Stop making jokes.
They're not very funny.
No need to worry.
I promise i'll tell.
The End
posted by ShiningsTar542
There is a topless Foto of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O

Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied Von some perverts with Photoshop.’

"The alleged Foto of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” sagte her reps.

Now they are going to go after the people responsible.

Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...

source: TMZ

-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
1-TIK TOK-Ke$ha
2-NEED Du NOW-Lady Antebellum
3-HEY, SOUL SISTER-Train
4-CALIFORNIA GURLS-Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg
5-OMG-Usher Featuring will.i.am
6-AIRPLANES-B.o.B Featuring Hayley Williams
7-LOVE THE WAY Du LIE-Eminem Featuring Rihanna
8-BAD ROMANCE-Lady Gaga
9-DYNAMITE-Taio Cruz
10-BREAK YOUR HEART-Taio Cruz Featuring Ludacris
11-NOTHIN' ON YOU-B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
12-I LIKE IT-Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull
13-BEDROCK-Young Money Featuring Lloyd
14-IN MY HEAD-Jason Derulo
15-RUDE BOY-Rihanna
16-TELEPHONE-Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce
17-TEENAGE DREAM-Katy Perry
18-JUST THE WAY Du ARE-Bruno...
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NOTE EVERYONE I DID NOT MAKE THIS!!





* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


* People who are willing to get off their arse to Suchen the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


* When people say "Oh Du just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if Du can't eat it?


* When people say "it's always the last place Du look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would Du keep...
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