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posted by mae_cait_001
1.Always be fresh and beautiful 2.Apply make-up but not too much(coz u will look like a white lady!scary!) 3.Have a pleasing smile when he looks at u 4.Dont loose confidence when u see him.dont get nervous,say a simple"hi"who knows,maybe he'll reply u with a hello that u'd longed to hear 5.Show him ur good side! 6.Show him ur secret talents. 7.Wear dresses appropriate to his taste 8.Dont be so noisy when ur with him(guys dont like noisy girls 9.Always do things that u know he will like 10 IDK^-^just do anything,i dont know what 2 write with no.ten.
added by Jeffersonian
added by r-pattz
added by dxarmy423
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: dailysquee.com
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: icanhascheezburger.com
added by sonicgoth
Source: amy
added by i_luv_angst
posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits Weiter Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have Du tried Wird angezeigt him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed Von funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like Du - very homosexually.
Contributed Von funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - fisch Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by jeniffer2200
 i'm a tumor
i'm a tumor
Family guy quotes:

*Black Jesus!* "I rode this town on ass!,Yo mama's ass!" *Black Jesus*

"Meth is a hell of a drug."

"I'm a tumor,I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor!,I'm a tumor,I'am a tumor...I'am tumor! oh oh! I'M A TUMOR!"

"Pick up my poop!"

"I have the power! He-Man!"

"Giggity!"

"Luis! Luis,Luis,Luis,Luis,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mama,Mama,Mama,Mama,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mummy,Mummy,Mama!,Mama! WHAT!? HI! eheheheheh"

______________________________________________


Spongebob Quotes:

"Oh Please! I have no soul"

"Fenland!"

"I defy Du herz man!!"

"I don't think Wumbo is a real word...Come'on!...
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posted by kinga10111
A person can not fold a normal size piece of paper in half Mehr than 8 times.



There are just over 300 million cell phones used daily in the United States alone.



A shrimps herz is in it’s head.



Kissing is actually healthier than shaking someones hand.




Natural pearls will melt in vinegar.



An olive baum can live up to 1500 years.



Cleopatra married two of her brothers.



Ants can’t shut their eyes.




On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building looks like an American flag.



Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, while women shirts have the buttons on the left.



Chewing...
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posted by kinga10111
50 Zufällig Fragen people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will Du marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The Tag came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing Du know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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1.His cell phone number (picture this Du are on a datum with him and she calls to ask wat time will she be home)

2.His parents-(If your mom knows his parents then be prepared to see sum embarrasing pics,of yuor boyfriend)

3. If he is a virgin!! (ppicture this your up in your room with him and she pops in when yall r about to KISS and she freaks out)

4.His ex-girlfriends (if your mom knows ur boyfriend's ex girlfriends then be prepared to hear what did, tthis girl havetht my daughter didnt)

5.What his style is (your out with ur bf and mom and Du turn the corner and she yells OH LOOK A THOOSE SEXY...
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 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of Du are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat oder what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two Minuten when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my ipod oder laptop for a week if I left it open again. oder when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the Weiter table.
Turn around every thirty-seven Sekunden to the people at the Weiter tabelle and ask them if your sitz is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever Du see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their tabelle and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time Du take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the tabelle itself; and make sure to make...
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added by tanyya
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are Friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be...
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