CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with feuer at one end and a fool at the other!


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either


CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied Von the number present


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force Von which masculine will power is defeated Von feminine water-power!


DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage


CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on


ECSTASY:
A feeling when Du feel Du are going to feel a feeling Du have never felt before


CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read


SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:
A place where Du can relax after your strenuous Home life


YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth


ETC:
A sign to make others believe that Du know Mehr than Du actually do


COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together


EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes


ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions


PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead


DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells Du to go to hell in such a way
that Du actually look vorwärts-, nach vorn to the trip


OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river


OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


FATHER:
A banker provided Von nature


CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught


BOSS:
Someone who is early when Du are late and late
when Du are early


POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later


DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills Von pills, and kills Du Von his bills!!