Buy a deck of cards.
How do Dinosaurier pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
What do Du call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do Du call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.
How do Du make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
How do Du make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
How do Du prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
What bird can lift the most?
A crane.
What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
What can Du hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
What clothes does a house wear?
Address.
What country makes Du shiver?
Chile.
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
What did one magnet say to the other?
I find Du very attractive.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
What did the mother besen say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
What did the necktie say to the hat?
Du go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got Du covered.
What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
What do Du call a kalb after it's six months old?
Seven months old.
What do Du call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
Why was Aschenputtel thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.
What do Du call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What do Du call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
What do Du call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
What do Du do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
What do Du get if Du kreuz a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!
What do Du get if Du kreuz an elefant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
What do Du get if Du kreuz an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
What do Du get when Du kreuz a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
What do Du get when Du kreuz poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milch truck.
What is a tree's Favorit drink?
Root beer.
What is the best thing to do if Du find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
What kind of Katzen like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What kind of ties can't Du wear?
Railroad ties.
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
What do Du call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do Du call a country where everyone has to drive a rosa car?
A rosa car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
Why did the doughnut Shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
Hahaha okayy i know some of them aren't that funny but it's not me who wrote them ;)
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