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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If Liebe is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should Du believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that Hunde Liebe to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at Du if Du blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a baum falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentagon were run Von women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do Du plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your sitz can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice Tag in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that schaf, schafe don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 Stunde convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for Mehr than one gans is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did Du know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If olive oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do Du know if sauer, saure cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern Tag witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do Meerjungfrauen wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do Pferde call their scary dreams?
41) Do Du get to keep the time Du save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does Minute reis have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do Du slam revolving doors?
52) If Du put Essen colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an orange is orange and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
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Cincinatti Ohio. Four men were in a black Suburban were driving towards a warehouse called M&M Metals International Inc. One of them was Johnny Lightning.

Johnny: *Looks to the man sitting in the back with him*
Narrator: Before joining the CIA, I was a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I didn't like the fact that it was corrupt, and decided to transfer. Some federal boys on the other hand, did not want me to transfer to the CIA. Once a Monat since my transfer, they've been sending me at least five E-mails, trying to make out deals to get me back.
Driver: *Stops the Suburban*...
continue reading...
1-It's considered rude to write in red ink in Portugal.
2-Although the bobcat is rarely seen, it is the most common wildcat in North America.
3-The Chinese giant salamander can grow to be 6 feet (1.8 m) long, making it the largest salamander in the world.

4-Because the speed of Earth's rotation changes over time, a Tag in the age of Dinosaurier was just 23 hours long.

5-There are Mehr than 1,200 water parks in North America.


6-It would take 100 Earths, lined up end-to-end, to stretch across the face of the sun.

7-The highest wave ever surfed was as tall as a 10-story building.

8-Some apples can weigh...
continue reading...
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Source: disneyscreencaps.com
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