• A king size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
• If Du spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
• A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
• If Du hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 Von 20 foot room.
• You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling Fan is on. A ceiling Fan can hit a baseball a long way.
• The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit Von a ceiling fan.
• When Du hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of smoke.
• A six Jahr old can start a feuer with a flint rock even though a 36 Jahr old man says they can only do it in the movies.
• Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four Jahr old.
• Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
• Super glue is forever.
• No matter how much Jell-O Du put in a swimming pool Du still can't walk on water.
• Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials Zeigen they do.
• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
• You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
• Always look in the ofen before Du turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
• The feuer department in Austin, TX has a 5 Minute response time.
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
• It will however make Katzen dizzy.
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
• If Du spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
• A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
• If Du hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 Von 20 foot room.
• You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling Fan is on. A ceiling Fan can hit a baseball a long way.
• The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit Von a ceiling fan.
• When Du hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of smoke.
• A six Jahr old can start a feuer with a flint rock even though a 36 Jahr old man says they can only do it in the movies.
• Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four Jahr old.
• Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
• Super glue is forever.
• No matter how much Jell-O Du put in a swimming pool Du still can't walk on water.
• Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials Zeigen they do.
• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
• You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
• Always look in the ofen before Du turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
• The feuer department in Austin, TX has a 5 Minute response time.
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
• It will however make Katzen dizzy.
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.
1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.
2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.
3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.
4. The UK population grew in Mehr 2008 than at any time since 1962.
5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.
6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.
7. The smell of cut gras, grass makes people happy.
8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.
9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.
10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.
Hopefully there will be Mehr Weiter week.
1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.
2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.
3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.
4. The UK population grew in Mehr 2008 than at any time since 1962.
5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.
6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.
7. The smell of cut gras, grass makes people happy.
8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.
9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.
10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.
Hopefully there will be Mehr Weiter week.
1) Pay the ring bearer a dollar to pick his/her nose during the ceremony.
2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.
3) Pay the blume girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.
4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure Du disabled the piano/organ first.
5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.
6) Get your best friend to call Du repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure Du set your ringtone to an irritating tone.
7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.
8) "Trip" and spill Schokolade fondue all over the bride.
9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid Bewegen Von getting married" sign on the groom's back.
10) "Invite" a pit bull.
2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.
3) Pay the blume girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.
4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure Du disabled the piano/organ first.
5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.
6) Get your best friend to call Du repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure Du set your ringtone to an irritating tone.
7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.
8) "Trip" and spill Schokolade fondue all over the bride.
9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid Bewegen Von getting married" sign on the groom's back.
10) "Invite" a pit bull.
#9 Have one of your Friends hit Du on the back and spit out a piece of white gum oder a tic-tak, this will make people think they broke your tooth.
#8 Go to the mall and ask people if they have change for the payphone. Don't stop until Du have $20 oder more.
#7 If Du have to write a story for English class, write: Once upon a time, The end, and turn it in.
#6 After a lesson, if the teacher ask if there are any questions, ask something completely randon like "Where do Babys come from?"
#5 If the teacher leaves during the middle of a movie, get up and change the channel to Spongebob oder Musik videos.
#4 Go around Singen the Free Credit Report.com songs.
#3 Go around hitting people on the head and say: "Could've had a v8."
#2 Get a bra and use it to shoot eggs at people.
#1 When the intercom comes on, drop to your knees and yell, "NO! It's those voices again!
