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posted by nessienjake
ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
Du know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for Du Du twit she was only after your money and could have gegeben a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when Du took her out and she sagte "I'm not hungry" so Du figured Du could take her to a nice place because Du were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate Mehr than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So Du flip the bill and are broke for the Weiter two weeks and she wonders why Du were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if Du can even stand to look at her.

G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, Du figure it out.

I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to datum her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

K
stands for Kill.

L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon Von both parties.

L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't Bewegen very much, did she?

O
is for On top. When on oben, nach oben she has another O word.

P
is for Pill. She sagte she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing Du for a few hundred bucks a month.

Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my Liebe but I paid for it.

S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured Du with the truth. She also tortured Du with lies.

U
is for Understatement. Saying Du hate that hündin is an understatement.

V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason Du were dating her in the first place.

W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Y
stands for Du suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what Du got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to Du about taking what P stands for. It also means Du won't get any for a week.
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posted by MineTurtle
Just to let Du know, this is NOT mine. I found it on another website.

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when Du sit down and when Du rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For Du were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me Du live and Bewegen and have your being. Acts 17:28

For Du are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew Du even before Du were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose Du when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are...
continue reading...
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Ohh myy god...xD
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