So this is a game I have only heard about in whispers. Everyone has told me that Rogue Warrior was a terrible game, but no one ever told me why. They just say “It’s boring” oder “It’s not fun”, but I was always curious as to why it was so bad. And then I figured it out. Rogue Warrior was a game Rebellion Developments and published Von Bethesda. Yep, the same Bethesda that tells us sweet little lies. Du people thought Fallout 76 was the worst thing with Bethesda’s name slapped on it, just Du wait. Based very, very, very loosely on the autobiography Von actually named Richard “Dick” Marcinko, the game was originally in development Von Zombie Studios, but Bethesda scrapped it and gave it to Rebellion. This was considered the true version in Todd Howard’s eyes…. Can’t say I’m surprised.
So we get our selection of difficulty, saying such nice things like, “If you’re a pussy, play easy” oder “Think your fucking special, huh”. Honestly, I like that. I get that people, usually game journalists, hate games that insult Du for playing on easier difficulties, but I think it’s motivating Du to get better… unless you’re a game journalist. Du will never get better. Set in 1986, we start with this fine gentleman, I’m assuming that’s Good Ol’ Dick, swearing up a storm as he and his allies infiltrate a North Korean area and sneak attack the enemies, waiting awkwardly for characters to react before the scene plays in full. But oh no, Dick’s team of double gets killed Von a grenade, because the North Koreans were waiting for them, even though they weren’t, like at all. So we jump into the gameplay, and we get our introduction to stealth kills, and they are…. Not that great looking. I’ve seen worse, but I’ve also seen better. It also doesn’t help that the ragdoll kicks in Sekunden after the kill Bewegen cutscene and they jump for a brief second. What makes it Mehr hilarious is Dick shouting swears like a nine Jahr old on Call of Duty who just learned what swears are. After getting a dozen easy stealth kills in a row, I finally get into a gun fight with someone, and oh my goodness, the ragdoll in this game is off the charts. This makes Dark Souls look tame. I shoot an enemy in the foot and they jump into the air before dying. It’s some hilarious stuff. It makes walking through the bland, dark environments a bit Mehr entertaining. Du can tell how cheap the game is too. I somehow managed to shoot both enemies in the stomach to stun them and they did the same animations. I must be a pro at finding bad glitches and cut corners, I swear. And that’s assuming Du get a reaction from enemies. Sometimes they just stand there and take the bullet with no reaction whatsoever. They take damage, but Du won’t know until they eventually fall, ragdoll for good measure, and then die.
So on to the Weiter level, where the textures take a bit to load in and Good Ol’ Dick makes fun of the North Korean leader’s dick, because he's a cool guy. Everyone in this factory has got to die, even the repair men. They gotta go too. Just the way Dick wanted it to be. All in all, the gameplay itself is…. Just there. It doesn’t do anything unique, but it does just enough to be passable. It’s just a boring okay. If Du played Call of Duty, then Du get an idea of what the gameplay of Rogue Warrior is. Just a Mehr boring Call of Duty, and depending on who Du are, that could either be make Rogue Warrior a boring game oder something even worse. Also, I died around this point, got impatient, and realized Du don’t have to crouch to do kill moves. Just run up to them and Du can kill them. Did all of North Korea’s military have bad hearing in the 80s oder something? So get through the level and we end up in… the same thing. It’s just the same stuff. So, looking up material for this review (Because I didn’t want to play anymore), I decided to look up the credits. And holy shit… the credits music. It’s this smooth R&B beat with Dick swearing up a storm along to the song. Just when I thought the game couldn’t surprise me, it pulls something else and continues the surprises. So, yeah, everyone go look up the Rogue Warrior credits theme. This at least needs to be salvaged.
So yeah, Rogue Warrior… it’s okay. I mean, it’s still a generic as hell action game and it isn’t that fun, it’s glitchy as can be, and the dialogue is pretty bad, but honestly, I’ve played far worse FPS games. Rogue Warriors isn’t terrible… it’s not good, but I don’t think it deserves to be considered the worst game of all time. It’s like middle of the road a 5/10. Maybe a 4. That said, it’s still not a game I have any interest in returning to, so… But that credits song though. 10/10
So we get our selection of difficulty, saying such nice things like, “If you’re a pussy, play easy” oder “Think your fucking special, huh”. Honestly, I like that. I get that people, usually game journalists, hate games that insult Du for playing on easier difficulties, but I think it’s motivating Du to get better… unless you’re a game journalist. Du will never get better. Set in 1986, we start with this fine gentleman, I’m assuming that’s Good Ol’ Dick, swearing up a storm as he and his allies infiltrate a North Korean area and sneak attack the enemies, waiting awkwardly for characters to react before the scene plays in full. But oh no, Dick’s team of double gets killed Von a grenade, because the North Koreans were waiting for them, even though they weren’t, like at all. So we jump into the gameplay, and we get our introduction to stealth kills, and they are…. Not that great looking. I’ve seen worse, but I’ve also seen better. It also doesn’t help that the ragdoll kicks in Sekunden after the kill Bewegen cutscene and they jump for a brief second. What makes it Mehr hilarious is Dick shouting swears like a nine Jahr old on Call of Duty who just learned what swears are. After getting a dozen easy stealth kills in a row, I finally get into a gun fight with someone, and oh my goodness, the ragdoll in this game is off the charts. This makes Dark Souls look tame. I shoot an enemy in the foot and they jump into the air before dying. It’s some hilarious stuff. It makes walking through the bland, dark environments a bit Mehr entertaining. Du can tell how cheap the game is too. I somehow managed to shoot both enemies in the stomach to stun them and they did the same animations. I must be a pro at finding bad glitches and cut corners, I swear. And that’s assuming Du get a reaction from enemies. Sometimes they just stand there and take the bullet with no reaction whatsoever. They take damage, but Du won’t know until they eventually fall, ragdoll for good measure, and then die.
So on to the Weiter level, where the textures take a bit to load in and Good Ol’ Dick makes fun of the North Korean leader’s dick, because he's a cool guy. Everyone in this factory has got to die, even the repair men. They gotta go too. Just the way Dick wanted it to be. All in all, the gameplay itself is…. Just there. It doesn’t do anything unique, but it does just enough to be passable. It’s just a boring okay. If Du played Call of Duty, then Du get an idea of what the gameplay of Rogue Warrior is. Just a Mehr boring Call of Duty, and depending on who Du are, that could either be make Rogue Warrior a boring game oder something even worse. Also, I died around this point, got impatient, and realized Du don’t have to crouch to do kill moves. Just run up to them and Du can kill them. Did all of North Korea’s military have bad hearing in the 80s oder something? So get through the level and we end up in… the same thing. It’s just the same stuff. So, looking up material for this review (Because I didn’t want to play anymore), I decided to look up the credits. And holy shit… the credits music. It’s this smooth R&B beat with Dick swearing up a storm along to the song. Just when I thought the game couldn’t surprise me, it pulls something else and continues the surprises. So, yeah, everyone go look up the Rogue Warrior credits theme. This at least needs to be salvaged.
So yeah, Rogue Warrior… it’s okay. I mean, it’s still a generic as hell action game and it isn’t that fun, it’s glitchy as can be, and the dialogue is pretty bad, but honestly, I’ve played far worse FPS games. Rogue Warriors isn’t terrible… it’s not good, but I don’t think it deserves to be considered the worst game of all time. It’s like middle of the road a 5/10. Maybe a 4. That said, it’s still not a game I have any interest in returning to, so… But that credits song though. 10/10
