Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an Stunde down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed of 55* Come on, don't Du know what the speed is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into a guardrail*
Jeep
Buff Man: *Leaning on a trailer with a speed boat* Yep, just getting my Jeep filled up with gas here at the Gulf station, and then I'm going to New York to go fishing, and test out my new boat. God I Liebe my Jeep. Off roading is the way of life.
Ford
Man: *Driving a Taurus. He slows down as he gets behind a Corvette* Why is he slowing down?
Teenager: *Looking at the Ford behind him* Please don't be undercover, please don't be undercover!
Man: *Passes him*
Teenager: *Lets out a sigh of relief as he watches the Ford speed away from him*
Toyota
Old Man: *Turns left, passing a red light. He pushes a truck off the road* Learn how to drive!!
Man 53: *Looks at the dent on his truck* Jackass.
Honda
Lady: *Points at her Accord* This is the best car ever, because it's very fuel efficient.
Man: *Looks at his Volt* Yeah, sure.
Lady: (Dammit! He knows the truth! His car is better!!)
Hummer, yes people still drive these
Man: Alright!! I finished lifting the 600 pound weights. Now it's time to go to Wal-Mart and buy stuff!!
People: *Shopping at Wal-Mart*
Man: *Crashes into the front of the store* I WANT 60,000 CASES OF WATER!!! PRONTO!!!
Worker: They're in Aisle 12!
Man: DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!! And while you're at it, FILL UP MY HUMMER WITH DIESEL!!!!!!!!!!! I also need some Blu-Ray discs, a Blu-Ray player, and a large variety of food!
Worker: That probably explains why Du crashed through the front of our store.
Not all Hummers run on diesel FYI.
Fiat
A hot chick with big breasts was walking towards a rosa Fiat 500.
Girl: *Grabs a dildo out of the handschuh compartment, then puts the key in the ignition. She turns it, and as she hears the engine having trouble starting, she begins to masturbate with the dildo* Ah! Ah! *Turns the key again as she continues masturbating* Oh yes~!
Citroen
Girl: It's the same thing as Fiat, only in France.
Man 96: Does anyone even drive those?
Girl: I have a 2CV.
Man 96: ...of course Du do.
Volkswagen
Girl: *In a '55 Beetle, masturbating as her car won't start* Ja, Ja! Jawohl! Das ist wunderbar!
Man 89: Das ist das gleiche Problem wie Fiat, aber in Deutschland.
Aston Martin
Man: *Steps out of his car, wearing a tuxedo*
Woman: *Sitting behind a computer* Have Du found anything yet?
Man: I spotted our target's vehicle. It's parked in front of the casino. It may take a while for me to-
Man 43: *Steps out of his car*
Man: Never mind, I got a clear shot. *Shoots the man*
Woman: Du were supposed to bring him in alive!
Man: I'm Daniel Craig, I don't care about bringing people in for questioning. I only care about murder.
Woman: *Facepalm*
And finally, Nissan
A doorbell rang, and the door was soon opened Von none other than.........ThaSlimJim.
ThaSlimJim: Oh cool, Du brought my pizza.
pizza Delivery Guy: Yes, I brought it in my new Altima.
ThaSlimJim: Holy shit dude, I have that car!
pizza Delivery Guy: Sick bro!
ThaSlimJim: Do Du also like pizza too?
pizza Delivery Guy: Hell yeah dude, that's why I deliver it!
ThaSlimJim: Sick! Come on in, I got some marijuana!
pizza Delivery Guy: Rock on bro!!
6 hours later
pizza Delivery Guy: *Stoned as he walks back to his car*
ThaSlimJim: Yo, come back tomorrow with Mehr pizza!
pizza Delivery Guy: Sure thing bro. *Stumbles into his car, and drives away. He swerves down the road at 60 miles an hour*
---
Mehr Car Stereotypes
We have Mehr stereotypes for Mehr cars, coming your way.
Rolls-Royce
Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British Home dear chap. Come this way and I'll Zeigen Du what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a Gold frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.
GMC
Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: Du scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes Du did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: Du need to be Mehr careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*
Dodge
Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.
Chevrolet
Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.
Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.
The first one.
Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if Du have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Attendant: *Blushing*
2nd
Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel Du bitch.
Mitsubishi
Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, oder snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what Du need for off road adventures.
Subaru
Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's sitz as he continues drifting*
And finally, BMW
I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some BMW drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what Du will see actually happened to me recently.
Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a BMW X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are Du doing?
Woman: Du nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed Von a Toyota*
Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If Du want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved Von driving like a jackass.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
1. Empath. An empath is someone who can sense the emotions of others. They tend to feel drained after being an a crowd.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected Von wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited Von one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit oder other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that Du have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers oder water witches. Someone who can locate water oder Lost object with a rod oder wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see oder sense aura, oder energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected Von wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited Von one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit oder other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that Du have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers oder water witches. Someone who can locate water oder Lost object with a rod oder wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see oder sense aura, oder energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
1.Determine how many times a week Du eat oder want to eat chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 oder 10.
Let's say Du eat Schokolade 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2.Multiply that number Von 2.
8 x 2 = 16
3.Add 5 to the Zurück result.
16 + 5 = 21
4.Multiply that Von 50.
21 x 50 = 1050
5.Add the current Jahr (Gregorian).
1050 + 2011 = 3061
6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If Du haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.
(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)
3061 - 251 = 2810
7.(Assuming Du were born in 1975...)
2810 - 1975 = 835
8.You'll end up with a 3 oder 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one oder two digits will be the number of times per week Du eat oder want Schokolade (the number Du specified in the first step).
8 pieces of Schokolade a week, 35 years of age.
Let's say Du eat Schokolade 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2.Multiply that number Von 2.
8 x 2 = 16
3.Add 5 to the Zurück result.
16 + 5 = 21
4.Multiply that Von 50.
21 x 50 = 1050
5.Add the current Jahr (Gregorian).
1050 + 2011 = 3061
6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If Du haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.
(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)
3061 - 251 = 2810
7.(Assuming Du were born in 1975...)
2810 - 1975 = 835
8.You'll end up with a 3 oder 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one oder two digits will be the number of times per week Du eat oder want Schokolade (the number Du specified in the first step).
8 pieces of Schokolade a week, 35 years of age.
5
Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
"It's a long story. Du wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. Du can tell me if Du ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
"It's a long story. Du wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. Du can tell me if Du ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
At the end of series 3, Du never really find out what happens to Zuko's Mom, do you? well, I've got an idea, check this out:
Ozai wanted to be firelord, but Azulon wouldn't let him be Weiter in line, yadda yadda yadda, Iroh and Lu Ten, yadda yadda yadda, Ozai has to kill his first born son. But Ursa didn't like that so she planned a plan so that Ozai would be firelord and Zuko would live, but then Ursa was banished and I THINK that Ozai killed Azulon but who knows. So, Ursa is banished, and I don't really know where she's gone....but remember when Aang was in the spirit world and he had to talk to "The Face Stealer" (Can't remember the name-sorry) and he changes his face, Right? Well Du know that face oder a girl with long dark hair? Doen't she look alot like Ursa? If Du don't think so just have a look at how different Azula looked when she was crazy and cut her hair.
Think about it...I could be right!
So she of trapped in THE SPIRIT WORLD<--------
Ozai wanted to be firelord, but Azulon wouldn't let him be Weiter in line, yadda yadda yadda, Iroh and Lu Ten, yadda yadda yadda, Ozai has to kill his first born son. But Ursa didn't like that so she planned a plan so that Ozai would be firelord and Zuko would live, but then Ursa was banished and I THINK that Ozai killed Azulon but who knows. So, Ursa is banished, and I don't really know where she's gone....but remember when Aang was in the spirit world and he had to talk to "The Face Stealer" (Can't remember the name-sorry) and he changes his face, Right? Well Du know that face oder a girl with long dark hair? Doen't she look alot like Ursa? If Du don't think so just have a look at how different Azula looked when she was crazy and cut her hair.
Think about it...I could be right!
So she of trapped in THE SPIRIT WORLD<--------
Derpy
