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I made this when I first started writing. So the grammer isn't very good..


Grady Edwards. A constant on the run serial killer, that is always changing his name. Today he met Susan at the grocery store, he introduced himself as David Harris. He pretended to be divorced, but in reality he murdered his old wife, and her family. "Yep, she was mad at me for my constant tenancy to take shit in the pool" David said. Everyone took a step back. David walked away. Unaware of the danger it will eventually cause Susan asked David to stay with her family. He agreed.

Susan's oldest son, Michael was returning from military school. His family had a surprise party waiting for him, and when he arrived the party had started. Michael met David and he lead the two down towards the basement. He tried befriending him over drinks. "We will bring the family together, farther and son" David said. "STEP farther" Michael said. "Of curse" David sagte with a grin. "What if mom disagrees?" Michael asked. "Then I'll have to kill her" David whispered to himself. "WHAT!" Michael cried. "WHAT!" David cried. "Did Du just say your kill my mother" Michael asked. "No" David sagte quickly. David started bring him upstairs. "This has been a nice chat" David sagte quickly. "but David" Michael said, but David closed the door on him.

For a while things seemed pretty ordinary. Until that Tag came, where old Mrs. Martin knocked on their door. She was talking to Susan but nobody heard them. She later told David that Mrs. Martin sagte she saw a killer named Granny Edwards on America's most wanted, and he looked just like David. They both laughed, well David pretended to laugh, he was nervous. "This will make me a big hit with the neighbors" David joked.

LATER!

Getting worried, David checked America's most wanted for Granny Edwards, and sure enough there he was. Mrs. Martin knows to much. David had to "take care" of her.

LATER AGAIN!

There was a knock on Mrs. Martin's door. Mrs. Martin answered it, but nobody was there. Unknown to anyone David somehow sneak in. After a small audience scare, using a cat. David appeared and grabbed Mrs. Martin and tossed her towards the open door to the basement. Mrs. Martin catched herself. David walked up to her. He looked at her for a second. Then randomly screamed the famish quote "THIS IS SPARTA!" The kicked her she literary flew over the stairs and cracked her head open at a Wand at the bottom. She was dead. David closed the door and walked away, quietly laughing to himself.

THE Weiter DAY, AT DINNER!

Earlier that Tag David met Kelly, Michael's girlfriend. "Be careful, people may get the wrong idea about Du two" he said. "What do think people think about Du moving in with my mother" Michael snapped. David violently grabbed his shirt. "WHAT DID Du SAAY!" He screamed. But then suddenly calmed down, and remained that way. "By the way Michael, Du know how Du wanted that job, well the manager and I had a little chat, and he agreed to put you" David said. "What kind of chat?" Michael asked.

FLASHBACK!

David pointing a fully loaded Desert eagle at the manager. "YOU WANT A BULLIT IN YOU!?" He screamed angrily. "NOO!" The manager screamed. "GIVE HIM THE F***IN JOB!" David screamed. "Alright" the manager said.

END FLASHBACK!

"A nice chat" David said. Suddenly David stared seeing them as his old family, and was getting overly anxious, but soon snapped out of it as.

The Weiter morning, Michael woke up to sirens Weiter doo r. The family asked David what's going on. "You know the old lady next, she fell down the stairs and broke her neck" David told them. "Ou that poor women" Susan sagte hold up hands over her mouth.

LATER!

Michael was becoming specious of David. He told his girlfriend Kelly, but she wasn't buying it. "Look what he's doing know" Michael sagte pointing to the distance. Shows David chasing a backenhörnchen, chipmunk, streifenhörnchen with a spiked baseball bat. The backenhörnchen, chipmunk, streifenhörnchen ran up a tree. "YA! THAT'S RIGHT RUN! Du COWARDLY PIECE OF ratte SHIT!" David screamed at it. "What's wrong mister Harris?" Kelly asked. "Just mind your own damn business" David snapped. Kelly was about say something when David screamed, "SILENC! I'll KILL YOU!"

LATER AGAIN!

David took Michael to dinner, at a restaurant. David told Michael about his daughters. But Michael got worried again as David seemed to miss say his daughters names.

Michael told Kelly, but she STILL wasn't convinced. "He's hiding something" Michael said. "Doesn't mean he's a killer" Kelly said.

Susan's youngest son Shaun was playing video games super loudly. Susan kept saying tune it down, but he wasn't lessoning. Finally David grabbed the back of his neck. "MAMA SAID! TUNE IT DOWN!" David cried violently. He turned down the volume and walked away. Leaving Shaun staring at him with fear in his eyes.

David approached downstairs and saw Michael and Kelly making out in the pool. "Are Du sure it's a good idea, for them to be so passionate at their age?" David asked.

Susan's ex husband arrived today. He Shaun and Susan's daughter for the day, Susan was also gone for the day. Michael and Kelly began Küssen in the pool again. It was interrupted when they saw David. David sagte he was leaving them alone for a bit. "You two play nice now" He said, then left. As soon as he did Michael began searching through his stuff for evidence that he is bad. Before was able to finish David returned. And Michael and Kelly had to run back towards the pool.

David and Michael were glaring at each other all through dinner. Suddenly the doorbell rang, Shaun and his sister came out with their old dad. He was super angrily. And violently pointed at David. "IF Du EVER LAY A HAND ON ONE OF MY KIDS AGAIN! IT'LL BE THE LAST F***IN THING Du EVER DO!" The dad screamed angrily. "What the hell are Du talking about?" Susan asked. "THIS MAN TRIED TO CHUCK SHAUN OVER THE STUPID VIDEOGAME VOLUME!" He cried angrily. "Susan told him to tune it down, and he didn't" David said. The other dad Lost it and started getting violent, but Michael pulled him away and took him outside.

The dad quickly calmed down, and he and Michael agreed to keep an eye on David.

David apologized to Shaun, when they were alone, Susan began getting angry with him, but David promised not to do it again.

Susan's ex husband came over today. Where he was greeted Von David. He apologized to David for his impression last time. "It's alright" David assured him.

A BIT LATER!

David disappeared into another room. "You know Michael want's me to keep an eye on you, and to be honest, I'd like some answers" The ex dad said. "Do Du hear me?" The ex dad cried. "Yep" David sagte suddenly appearing behind him. Before the guy realized what happened David broke a glass vase on his head, knocking him unconscious.

David threw him into the basement. And suffocated him in folding paper. "Damn, I forgot to tell Du how crazy I am" David sagte to the motionless body. "Do want to catch a movie?" David asked the body. The body remains motionless. "HEY (kicks body) ANSWER GOD DAMMIT... Ou right" David said.

David threw the body into the fridge. "I need some cold meat". David opens the fridge, but freaked out because he forgot about the body he threw in a couple Sekunden ago.

LATER THAT DAY!

"Hey honey, I accidently broke your vase" David lied, holding up the vase pieces. Susan laughed. "Don't worry… IS THAT BLOOD STAINS!" Susan cried. "No it's… ketchup, I… dropped a heavy, amount, of ketchup… Ya that's it, liquids are heavier then Du think, think of water buckets for example, their like one thousand pounds" David said. "Ok" Susan said, obviously buying it.

ALMOST A WEEK LATER!

David sat on the computer and saw the email, which read.

Hey sweetie,

I need to talk to Du about David. I think he's lying, about EVERYTHING! I'm sending someone to keep an eye on him. As for me, I need to catch a plane.

David's eye twitched. He picked up his phone. "Yes, I'll like to make a call about canceling a flight" David sagte into it.

LATER!

David came up to Susan's sister at the pool. And violently started drowning her, Von throwing her head in the water. Once she was dead, David threw the rest of her body in the pool.

LATER AGAIN!

Michael wanted Antwort once and for all. So he sneaked into the basement. He eventually stumbled on the body of his ex dad, locked in the fridge.

David kidnapped Kelly, and locked Michael in basement, so Michael couldn't do anything

David was losing it at this point, he was taking a bunch of knives and hammers, getting ready to kill. Susan came down. "What's with all the noise?" She sagte tiredly. "THE BOY IS THE PROBLEM! HE HAS NO RESPECT!" David cried. David picks a pencil. "YOU GOTTA BREAK HIM IF NESSASSARY!" David cried and tried to snap the pencil, but failed in doing so, he threw it away in anger. "Anyway… Du can't do that you're too soft" David told her. "What the hell are Du talking about?" Susan asked. "I thought I could make this work, I thought Du could be Mrs. Granny Edwards, BUT NO!" David cried and slammed his fist on the tabelle but suddenly started screaming in pain. "What did Du say?" Susan asked. "No that's not right, who am I here?" David asked. "David, what are you" Susan started. "DAVID! David Harris" David sagte and then began making a mussed up psychopathic laugh. Susan screamed in fear and ran upstairs, David chased her with a knife.

David cornered her in a bathroom. Susan picked up a piece of glass. And as David was about to stab his messer into her, she put the glass in his neck. "IS THAT ALL Du GOT!" David cried before falling down.

Susan met Michael and Kelly downstairs. But David has appeared to have waken up and chased them into the attic.

INSIDE THE ATTIC!

"DADDIES HOME!" David cried. He took out a chainsaw and again started making that that messed up psychopathic laugh. Unfortunately for him he stepped on a skateboard and fell down the edge.

A FEW DAYS LATER!

David, who survived unharmed, met a new family and introduced himself as Chris Ames.
posted by jeniffer2200
 i'm a tumor
i'm a tumor
Family guy quotes:

*Black Jesus!* "I rode this town on ass!,Yo mama's ass!" *Black Jesus*

"Meth is a hell of a drug."

"I'm a tumor,I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor!,I'm a tumor,I'am a tumor...I'am tumor! oh oh! I'M A TUMOR!"

"Pick up my poop!"

"I have the power! He-Man!"

"Giggity!"

"Luis! Luis,Luis,Luis,Luis,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mama,Mama,Mama,Mama,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mummy,Mummy,Mama!,Mama! WHAT!? HI! eheheheheh"

______________________________________________


Spongebob Quotes:

"Oh Please! I have no soul"

"Fenland!"

"I defy Du herz man!!"

"I don't think Wumbo is a real word...Come'on!...
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posted by kinga10111
A person can not fold a normal size piece of paper in half Mehr than 8 times.



There are just over 300 million cell phones used daily in the United States alone.



A shrimps herz is in it’s head.



Kissing is actually healthier than shaking someones hand.




Natural pearls will melt in vinegar.



An olive baum can live up to 1500 years.



Cleopatra married two of her brothers.



Ants can’t shut their eyes.




On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building looks like an American flag.



Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, while women shirts have the buttons on the left.



Chewing...
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posted by kinga10111
50 Zufällig Fragen people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will Du marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The Tag came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing Du know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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1.His cell phone number (picture this Du are on a datum with him and she calls to ask wat time will she be home)

2.His parents-(If your mom knows his parents then be prepared to see sum embarrasing pics,of yuor boyfriend)

3. If he is a virgin!! (ppicture this your up in your room with him and she pops in when yall r about to KISS and she freaks out)

4.His ex-girlfriends (if your mom knows ur boyfriend's ex girlfriends then be prepared to hear what did, tthis girl havetht my daughter didnt)

5.What his style is (your out with ur bf and mom and Du turn the corner and she yells OH LOOK A THOOSE SEXY...
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 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of Du are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat oder what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two Minuten when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my ipod oder laptop for a week if I left it open again. oder when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the Weiter table.
Turn around every thirty-seven Sekunden to the people at the Weiter tabelle and ask them if your sitz is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever Du see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their tabelle and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time Du take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the tabelle itself; and make sure to make...
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added by tanyya
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are Friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be...
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oben, nach oben 10
WatchMojo
added by Jet-Black
added by ShadowFan100
The Titel says it all, really. So I just want to start this all off Von apologizing to like..... The three of Du that probably were Lesen this. Cultober II was something I had planned since last year. I reviewed 31 horror Filme last Jahr and really wanted to do the same this year. However, I don't have the same free time I did a Jahr ago. With work and other projects being in the way, as well as playing indie games for In-Indie, I have no time to review 31 films. I had hoped that limiting it to 16 would help... and then I limited it to 10. And even then it wasn't going to do any good. So...
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added by SilentForce
added by SilentForce
added by MeiMisty
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added by SilentForce
added by SilentForce