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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my Liste of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let Du know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything oder eating anything Du might spit it oder something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the besen late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bucht they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's Favorit vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the pilz have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do Du call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do Du call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do Du make an octopus giggle ten times?
Du give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do Du make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's Favorit composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between Du and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't Du hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher sagte it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomate, tomaten blush?
It saw the salat dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do Du know if it's raining Katzen and dogs?
Du step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do Du know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do Du get Pikachu on a bus?
Du Pokemon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't Du dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do Du call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
Du boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton kreuz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do Du call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's rosa and fluffy?
rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when Du drink 7 coca colas?
Du burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the fisch say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't Du trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope Du liked them. Make sure Du check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
Zoom zoom in under my skin
Gotta slow down now to begin
Baby don’t rush Du can look but don’t touch
You think u know
When u see me in my videos
How the story goes
But that’s just the side that I expose
Look through the lens
You see my body, not who I am
So don’t pretend
And try to act like you’re my boyfriend
U wanna get somewhere
Then boy don’t touch me there
Just get up close and personal, personal
Zoom zoom in under my skin
Gotta slow down now to begin
Baby don’t rush Du can look but don’t touch
Zoom zoom
In to my head
Gotta know me to be my man
Boy prove you’re in love
You can look but don’t...
continue reading...
If ya got the time I’ll take it
If ya got the vibe we’ll make it
I’ll do that I’ll do that
If Du wanna dance let’s Bewegen it
If Du wanna play let’s play it
I’ll do that I’ll do that
And I get on up
And I get on down
And I play the fool when I act the clown
You know that I’d do anything for you
If Du want the world Du got it
If Du want the girl Du got it
I’ll do that baby
I’ll do that
So much for you
If Du want it all Du got it
Can Du hear me call Du got it
I’ll do that baby
I’ll do that
So much for you
So much for you
So much for you
If ya got the game let’s win it
If ya got the...
continue reading...
posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the Weiter on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't Du take a sitz and I will get Du something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some Essen with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the Liste and removed his name from the oben, nach oben of the Liste and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he sagte to the guy, "Because Du have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the Liste ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much Du try!!
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's Du and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the feuer department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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HAHAHAA
THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNYAHAHAHAHHA
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HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAA
THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNYAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAA
THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY
THIS IS FUNNY
HAHAHAHAHHA
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HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAA
THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS FUNNY
posted by sapherequeen
 :)
:)
I just want to take the time to thank everyone here who has known me, been on my side, is a Fan of me, cares about me, etc. :)

I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D

I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on Fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)

I am me again. I Liebe and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of Du for the rest of my life :)

I Liebe Du all! Have a beautiful, wonderful Tag :D
 -LOL!-
-LOL!-
posted by KatiiCullen94
dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that Du were real, that Du all were , that he was.
There is evidence that Du were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming oder not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and Du diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, oder did i make Du up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without Du i dont know. But i want to find out. Do Du think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for...
continue reading...
posted by twilight0girl
link

Nathan:
Dear Marni,
I am so sorry.
Can Du forgive me for this?

Rotti:
Not the debt doctor
With the hungry scalpel!
Here's my prognosis:
Will they live...?

Hench Girls:
Doubtful.

Luigi:
Your the straße physician
carving flesh sculptures!

Pavi:
Paint your arsch like rembrandt!
Ha! Du Like-a that?!

Rotti:
Better start praying when Du see him coming.

Luigi:
cause tonight its curtains!

Luigi, Pavi and Rotti:
Youre the night surgeon!

Chorus:
Remember who Du are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember what Du did to Marni.

Chorus:
Remember who Du are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember...
continue reading...
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