Zufällig Article: Read some very funny answering machine messages

9

Read some very funny answering machine messages

posted by australia-101

These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to Du as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If Du are the phone company, I already sent the money. If Du are my parents, please send money. If Du are my financial aid institution, Du didn't lend me enough money. If Du are my friends, Du owe me money. If Du are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now Du say something.

5. Hi, I'm not Home right now, but my answering machine is, so Du can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If Du leave a message, I'll call Du soon. If Du leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, Du are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows oder a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait Von your phone until I call Du back.

13. If Du are a burglar, then we're probably at Home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't Home and it's safe, sicher to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, Du have the right to remain silent. Everything Du say will be recorded and will be used Von us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

deathding, jordanyeaboi and 7 others like this

JudyRro Picture this: machine learning, with https://gowombat.team/machine-learning expertise, becomes the comedy scriptwriter for your data. It doesn't just analyze; it understands patterns, learns from the data's quirks, and delivers insights with a touch of wit. The result is a symphony of intelligence that transforms raw data into a delightful narrative

12

Zufällig Jokes

posted by BellaSwan636

I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.

-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down boot in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...

6

The Naughty Builders

posted by Little_Cullen

O.K, so the other Tag we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, Du know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once Mehr at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure Von now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!

4

there's something fishy about this...

posted by cheeeese

okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on Fanpop for F.S. soo Du can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to Mitmachen F.S. Du must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. tee is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...

22

10 ways to ennoy an older sister

posted by TDIlover226

1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand Weiter to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't Du even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, Du need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with Friends then run up and sit between them and go...

13

10 things NOT to do in a horror movie

posted by gabriellel93

So there has been a lot of new horror Filme coming out and a lot of people doing dumb stuff in that movie.

So I'm gonna help Du survive. you're welcome.

1. Don't take a trip to a secluded area.
-You could go to Vegas, New York, Paris so why the hell go into a damn desert.

2.Don't invite your boyfriend and the local village slut on the same trip. And don't get mad when they have sex.
-You knew she was a slut so don't get mad when it goes down

3.Don't run out of your hiding spot if the killer can't see you.
-He can't see you! He doesn't know where Du are! Stay there and shut the hell up.

4.Don't...

3

My REALLY Zufällig Conversation with Cleverbot

posted by penguin7710

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Good and you?

Cleverbot: Yes, good thanks! How old are you?

User: 16.

Cleverbot: You're old.

User: Thanks alot! :(.

Cleverbot: You're welcome!

User: I was being sarcastic.

Cleverbot: So was I.

User: Oh ok. That makes sense. It's hard to tell on the computer.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yesh really. Do Du like ponies?

Cleverbot: No, do Du like ponies?

User: Yes. But, Einhörner are better.

Cleverbot: Einhörner aren't real.

User: YES THEY ARE! HOW DARE Du SAY THAT!

Cleverbot: Hey, I just met you, chill!!

User: Du sagte Einhörner aren't real. :( I thought Du were my friend....

4

laminin protein

posted by jeannette27

laminin protein cell

Now tell me that our God is not the coolest!!!
Amazing.
The glue that holds us together....ALL of us....is in the shape of the cross.
Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For Von him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,
whether thrones oder powers oder rulers oder authorities;
all things were created Von him and for him.
He is before all things,
and in him all things HOLD TOGETHER. "
Colossians 1:15-17

laminin protein cell

laminin cell

2

Rise of the Guardian - Easter Bunny / Bunnymund

added by 3xZ

MLP Fanart Discord and Iago Almost Stone

added by Crazedsitcomfan

Notable benefits of Word finder that maybe Du don’t know

posted by alicejenny

Developing word recognition is the main and outstanding benefit of link. Specifically, whenever Du need to Suchen for a word in a huge number of words oder in case Du face troubles with the arrangement of letters, Word finder will be the best solution. So, what Word finder can help you?
- Learning context clues
- Expanding vocabulary and supplementing education resources
- Completing word searches
Do Du know any other advantages of word finder? Please let me know!

1

Tajū & The Kitsune Prism (Chapter 2)

posted by ShadowFan100

Chapter 2: Spirit Of The Fox, Part 2: Into The Forest

After the light had vanished from the school, it then reappeared in a forest-similar to the one Taju had been dreaming about. Sekunden after appearing, the light formed into the shape of Taju and the fox--indicating that they had still been inside as it disappeared from the school. The light that surrounded them finally faded, and Taju wanted some Antwort out of

"Alright, fox, Du know where I live, and where I go to school--what's this all about? What do Du want from me?" he asked the fox.

It took him a Sekunde to remember that the fuchs couldn't...

CANADA24's BEST/WORST ADAM STANDER MOVIES;

posted by Canada24

BEST;

1; CLICK;
This one is a personal favourite of mine.. I actually like this actor all things considered, and actually have Mehr good films than bad.. Click is actually a really funny film, and he doesn't do any of his stupid high pitched voices, least not that much. I always like when Adam plays the everyman, he's actually one of the best parts of the films when he does.

And coarse, there's the last 20/30 minutes. Where Standler shows that under the right circumstances, he actually is a really excellent actor. Doing the emotional scenes really really well..

2; HOTEL TRANSVANINA;
These films...

-1

P.E.C podcast

posted by podcastlover123

Please listen to P.E.C podcast Fanpop Fans it’s a great podcast! I would rate it 5/5 stars ⭐️ because the trailer seams great but they sagte they will start posting episodes on Friday. So please listen to it. So get off your Bücher and get out your screens and type “P.E.C podcast” and it will change Du for life the podcast is run Von Olivia and Hattie who are loads of 🤩 FUN. So please once Du have listen 🎧 to the podcast leave a Kommentar and say podcast like 👍🏻 oder podcast dislike 👎🏻. Bye for now

1

oben, nach oben TEN SLASHER VILLAINS; worst to best..

posted by Canada24

10; JASON VOORHEES;

I know it might seem like me just being a Freddy fan, especially as Krueger is number one. But I have to be entirely honest. I always found Friday the 13th kinda overrated. It's not till the films started becoming self parody's when Jason became a zombie that they started getting fun. The rest of them are just Mehr 80's slashers with annoying characters that we just want to see Jason kill. But that's just me. I know people enjoy these films. The fact he's on the Liste at all is still a compliment. And honestly he was way Mehr terrifying in that remake film..

9; CHUCKY;...

How to turn strangers into soulmates

posted by blossomyumyum

Have Du looked at someone and just thought,
“We don’t know each other’s names. We have so much in common, so close yet so far.”

Everyone always dreams of having a song sang to them, every guy needs to have their sing sang back.
Here are some ways that Du can find your soulmate:

First, realize that Liebe is love. That whatever comes will come naturally.
Kiss slowly and gently, because gay only means happy.

Listen to each other’s input. Give time to Wird angezeigt interest.

Let each other sing.
Music is often your best way to express feeling and emotion.
Realize too that sometimes lyrics are the best...

1

NikPiks - Freddy Got Fingered: The Point of Being Pointless

posted by Windwakerguy430

Wow, what is this now? Now I know what we’re all thinking. Is this supposed to be an in-season April Fools joke? Is this like an epic prank gone wrong gone sexual? This can’t truly be, Nik. You’re not really going to tell us about the actual intelligence of this film. No…. I’m dead serious. This is a review of the film, a review that actually talks about Freddy Got Fingered… But positively. Yes. Really. So this film has been considered not just one of the worst films of the decade, not just one of the worst comedies ever, but it’s also been considered one of the worst Filme of...

CAN Du DIG IT!? - The Warriors PS2 Review

posted by Windwakerguy430

Finally, a full review of a licensed game here on these reviews. I already did a quick look at the Simpsons: Hit and Run game, but that was only a little mini review in a series of mini reviews. This time, we got ourselves a full licensed game. And probably one of the most obscure and best on the PS2. So The Warriors movie from 1979 is one of my Favorit Filme ever. It was a short, fun thriller about a small straße gang being framed for the murder of a big crime lord and now must make it through the streets of New York back to their turf alive. It had thrills, chills, spills, and was just...

2

I can suck ya dick! ^_^

added by BB2010

1

Minorities Locked in a Ball Buster Combo - God Hand Review

posted by Windwakerguy430

So when it comes to buying physical copies of PS2 games, there’s always one issue that stems from it. That being the case of some games can be brutally expensive. Like I was hoping to buy a copy of Rule of Rose for the PS2 because I heard it was one of the most painful games to play with one of the best stories ever written. That was until I found out that the going price regularly is six hundred USD. So, yeah, no fucking thank you. I like to live in a house and eat food. But of course, Rule of Rose was far from the only game to do this. And with some games I wanted to buy on the PS2 like...

3

Making God Even Angrier - The Bible Game Review

posted by Windwakerguy430

Hey, everyone. After the mistake that was Trigger Man, and having fallen into a state of suicidal depression, also mixed with the state of the world, I decided to turn toward religion in the hopes of turning my life around. Sure, hearing about some of the stuff that goes on in the bible, like how God ruined Job’s life over a bet with the Devil…. Not sure what that was about, but I am a true Christian now. It is not my place to Frage the work of the lord. But because I can’t go to church because… ya know… the world right now, and since actually Lesen a book is a challenge for...