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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining Du with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most Kürzlich film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His Kürzlich role as Dr. Robotnik in Sonic The Hedgehog was funny, yes, but everypony is too busy focusing on Nintendo to watch a film made Von their biggest rival.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: strahl, ray Romano is also in a slump too. Well, actually, he decided to take a break from comedy anyway, but he's the only exception.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Aside from myself of course. I only do it, because I want to be an actor, as well as a comedian. Richard Pryor pulled it off, I don't see why I can't either.
Crowd: Yah!
Tom: Being an actor can be hard work, but I had one job that was even tougher. Du probably never heard of this before, because this job is very exclusive to Neigh Jersey. Gas Station Attendant!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Started when I was 18, and thought it would be a lot of fun, Du know? Young stallions are typically gearheads. They Liebe cars. This seemed like an easy way to make money, while enjoying the variety of cars travelling through my old hometown of Ponyville. *Makes a buzzer sound*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Doesn't work that way. Du get a lot of ponies who are in a rush to get overweight Von eating ribs, and french fries at Applebees.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: While many others are just looking for an excuse to be a jackass to some Zufällig stranger.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And they always seem to make mistakes. Excuse me ma'am. Why did Du come through the do not enter section?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Making a mare's voice* Because you're disrespecful!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: No one likes being called out on something they did wrong, but Du have to do your job, and make sure everypony is safe. Safety is always a high priority in Equestrian businesses. That's why we get injuries, and law firms sue them to make big bucks.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Despite the stupidity of customers, the managers are no better. The WaWa I was working at was on the left side of Church Street, while a bank was on the right side. One Tag someone decided, hey. Let's Bewegen the buildings to the other side of the street.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: All that hard work just to Bewegen a gas station to where the bank was, and vice versa.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Du could have used the thousands of dollars spent to Bewegen those buildings, on something Mehr important like, upgrading the equipment. Nope. Too expensive, we need to save money Von continuously investing in unreliable equipment!
Crowd: *Laughing*

2 B Continued
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Creme was driving her train up Sherman Hill, and Mirage still had his engine pushing from behind.

Conductor: *Still drunk, and looks out the back of his caboose* Wait a minute. *Sees Mirage's engine* Why is that engine pushing the train?! It's supposed to be on the front of the train, not the back! *Walks out of caboose, and gets onto Mirage's engine*
Mirage: *Sees conductor* What is he doing on my engine?
Conductor: *Walks into cab* Du sir are doing your job wrong!
Mirage: What are Du talking about? I'm supposed to push this train up the hill, to help Coffee Creme.
Conductor: Don't...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Jeff got back to Ponyville after killing Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor. He was waiting at the oben, nach oben of his army's HQ with Twilight. They were waiting for Dr. Robotnik to arrive.

Jeff: I'm looking vorwärts-, nach vorn to ending this war.
Twilight: Me too man. Me too.
Jeff: When do we kill him?
Twilight: We? Let me do all the talking.

Song: link

Robotnik: *Enters room*
Twilight: *Shoots Jeff's horn off*
Jeff: Ah! *Falls on floor*
Twilight: *Looks at Robotnik* What do Du want me to do Doctor?
Robotnik: Du have forgotten your place Princess Twilight Sparkle, Von having your own... Student. Instead of teaching...
continue reading...
I was sitting in a room with Con, and his boss, P.

Sean: What can I help Du with?
Con: Discord. Remember the prison your army put him in?
Sean: Yes. What happened?
P: He was being transferred to a different prison, but escaped.
Sean: Where is he?
Con: We're not entirely sure yet.

Meanwhile, in Mexico.

Discord: Wait here. This won't take long.
Italian Pony: Yes sir.
Discord: *Walks into Mexican military base*
Mexican pony 33: Halt!
Discord: Relax. I am unarmed. I request permission to speak to your boss.
Mexican pony 33: Very well. *Grabs walkie talkie* General, Du have a visitor.
Mexican General:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Jeff was soon sitting Weiter to the judge.

Judge: It appears that everypony is saying Du were in Cheyenne when Gordon took charge on the Tag February 20, 1954.
Jeff: Yes, I was there.
Judge: What did Du think of Gordon's actions when he told Du to take the rails apart, and fix them again?
Coffee Creme: Objection.
Hawkeye: Du can't object to what the judge says!
Judge: Thank you. Now Jeff, if Du will please answer my question.
Jeff: I was very surprised, and upset Von what Gordon wanted me to do.
Judge: When Du say surprised, do Du mean like an angry kind of surprised, oder just surprised?
Jeff:...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners