Credit: mugglenet.com

Greetings, new follower:

If Du are Lesen this letter then Du have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If Von some unprecedented chance Du are Lesen this and Du have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest Du put down this letter and leave now, oder the consequences for Du will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which Du must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate...