eclipse

bella: edward we need to talk.................................................



edward: go ahead we have got all the time in the world.
bella: ok but i don't think your gunna like it.
edward: whats wrong
bella: its nothing really but i do have to say i don't Liebe Du and i never have. the only reason why i married Du was cuz Du have lots of money and cuz i wanted to be a vampire. now i have got that i don't need Du anymore.
Edward: don't leave me.
bella: i have to cuz jacobs waiting for me in the car.
edward: thats my car
bella: buy a new one
bella: i am also taking renesmee with me. goodby edward. and thanks for the car
edward:noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. not the car
bella: hu hum i sagte goodbuy edward
edward: o sorry goodbuy bella.

and so bella, renesmee and jacob lived happily ever after

10. Ask about Mike.

9. Ask about Eric.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that Du and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her Du are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.


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