Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if Du know us then Du know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope Du guys like it.
Emmett's pov.
"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 Minuten and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he sagte chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. oder at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I sagte a bit sharply.
"No.I was getting bored.", he said.
"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I sagte in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he sagte a little impatient. " Jeese.", I sagte again. He sighed. "Alright. So if Du can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard Du can fart.", I sagte triumphently. "And how did Du come across this?", he sagte chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he sagte fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I sagte sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two Mehr just to be on the safe, sicher side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out oder Du won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( Zufällig letters =fart sounds, the Mehr letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I sagte clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he sagte laughing again."Let's go practice.", he sagte eager to learn.
*********
"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to Zeigen Du something.", we sagte in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", sagte rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen Du know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't Du the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I sagte irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for Vampire to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID Du EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. Von now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least Du can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", sagte Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", sagte Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", sagte Alice Mehr alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", sagte Jake. "Then why are Du coming closer?", sagte Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I sagte still watching." Du can't but I can.", sagte Edward chuckling. Von now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are Du willing to bet he is going to get his sorry arsch knocked around?", sagte Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the Weiter minute?", I said. "Your on.", sagte Edward."Edward aren't Du going to go help him?", Bella sagte worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", sagte Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But Du Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I sagte knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." Du know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", sagte Bella. "hey Bella can Du go make some popcorn this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I sagte and sat down to enjoy the Zeigen just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
Emmett's pov.
"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 Minuten and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he sagte chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. oder at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I sagte a bit sharply.
"No.I was getting bored.", he said.
"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I sagte in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he sagte a little impatient. " Jeese.", I sagte again. He sighed. "Alright. So if Du can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard Du can fart.", I sagte triumphently. "And how did Du come across this?", he sagte chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he sagte fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I sagte sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two Mehr just to be on the safe, sicher side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out oder Du won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( Zufällig letters =fart sounds, the Mehr letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I sagte clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he sagte laughing again."Let's go practice.", he sagte eager to learn.
*********
"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to Zeigen Du something.", we sagte in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", sagte rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen Du know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't Du the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I sagte irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for Vampire to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID Du EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. Von now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least Du can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", sagte Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", sagte Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", sagte Alice Mehr alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", sagte Jake. "Then why are Du coming closer?", sagte Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I sagte still watching." Du can't but I can.", sagte Edward chuckling. Von now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are Du willing to bet he is going to get his sorry arsch knocked around?", sagte Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the Weiter minute?", I said. "Your on.", sagte Edward."Edward aren't Du going to go help him?", Bella sagte worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", sagte Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But Du Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I sagte knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." Du know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", sagte Bella. "hey Bella can Du go make some popcorn this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I sagte and sat down to enjoy the Zeigen just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
Alice and Emmett Get Cozy?!
Uh oh... does Jasper have something to worry about?! What are Alice and Emmett doing together — as a couple?! Do we have a Cullen controversy on our hands?! Have we caught them red handed (and we ain't talkin bout blood)!?
No worries, Twihards, no steamy Scandal here! While they're brother and sister in the Twilight Saga, Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene are set to star, sterne in a movie called Warrior... and they'll play Liebe interests!
Kellan plays a star, sterne lacrosse player who joins the Navy; Ashley is his beautiful girlfriend. We've heard rumors about them hookin' up in real life, though they swear they're just BFF.
Brother and sister... BFF... boyfriend and girlfriend... the whole thing has got us confused! What do Du guys think?
Uh oh... does Jasper have something to worry about?! What are Alice and Emmett doing together — as a couple?! Do we have a Cullen controversy on our hands?! Have we caught them red handed (and we ain't talkin bout blood)!?
No worries, Twihards, no steamy Scandal here! While they're brother and sister in the Twilight Saga, Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene are set to star, sterne in a movie called Warrior... and they'll play Liebe interests!
Kellan plays a star, sterne lacrosse player who joins the Navy; Ashley is his beautiful girlfriend. We've heard rumors about them hookin' up in real life, though they swear they're just BFF.
Brother and sister... BFF... boyfriend and girlfriend... the whole thing has got us confused! What do Du guys think?