Twilight-Serie Article: Funny Twilight Quotes! :D

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posted by Renesmee_08

1) I was pale before Twilight made it cool.

2) I drive like a Cullen.

3) Jacob could BEAST f*ck me ANYTIME!!!

4) Looks at Edward...Damn he's hot, Jacob walks up...Edward who?

5) Does someone need a Jasper hug?

6) When Emmett Cullen does pushups, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the ground down.

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Blondes may have Mehr fun, but Edward prefers Brunettes.

8) "You're pale white...and ice cold...I know what Du are" "Say it... Out loud." "A SNOWMAN!"

9) Having a pulse? ... So overrated.

10) "Are Du afraid?" "No." "Then let's dance!"

11) Emmett: I have to get Home for the game. Alice: They lose. Emmett: F*** Du Alice! F*** YOU!

12) This may hurt just a little. *Jane squeezes Bella's wrist.*

13) "And so the hienna fell in Liebe with the pop tart."

14) Edward makes Peeping Toms sexy.

15) Dear Jacob: I win. Sincerely, Edward.

16) Note to everyone: go to Alice's parties oder she will kidnapp Du and force Du to go!

17) Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body ANYDAY!

18) Do that again, and I will so give Du a papercut in front of Jasper.

19) It’s all fun and games until someone gets a papercut!

20) Give blood- datum a Cullen.

21) Forks: where sparkly men tell Du that Du smell delicious.

22) It’s thundery, which can only mean one thing. Speed dial my hunting team! We’re searching every field in a five mile radius!

23) If an apfel, apple a Tag keeps the doctor away....SCREW APPLES! I WANNA SEE DR.CULLEN!

24) Du don’t like Twilight? That’s okay. It’s ok if I stick your head in a blender as well, right?

25) I’m sorry, did Du say something? It didn’t sound Twilight related, so I wasn’t paying attention.

26) Well they do say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and Hunde are mans’ best friend!

27) My room is Edward-proof. Freshly greased window so it won’t stick, brand new pillows and high central heating. I even have that rocking chair he loves...

28) Who needs a boyfriend? We have Twilight.

29) I so don’t understand this whole ‘Edward oder Jacob. Who’s hotter?’ thing. I mean we all know the real Frage is Jasper oder Emmett. Who’s colder and sexier?

30) Rosen are red. Violets are blue. I Liebe Twilight. So should you.

31) Screw Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!

32) Eat->Sleep->Read Twilight->Watch Twilight->Repeat.

33)I wonder if Edward and his family knew when Bella was on her period? Hmm... pretty embarrassing...

34) Some find Edward Cullen romantic. However, if he looked his actual age, would Du think it romantic for an old, haggard, 110 Jahr old man to be sneaking into an 18 Jahr old girl's room to watch her sleep?

35) I can live without food, but I can’t do without my daily dose of Twilight.

36) Who needs a life? I have Twilight.

37) I'm not sleeping till I get a piggy back from Emmett!

38) Loreal Jasper- Because you're worth it

39) When Life Gives Du Lemons, THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND FOR EDWARD CULLEN!!!

40) If i get sick take me to Dr Cullen

41) Edward Cullen: The Other White Meat

42) Keep Calm and Liebe Twilight

43) Oh Hale No!

44) I didn't get my letter to Hogwarts, so I'm moving to Forks instead.

45) Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in shiny Volvo!

46) Team Edward, except when Jacob is shirtless...

47) Unconditionally and irrevocably Twilight obsessed.

mr-cullen, BloodyObsession and 1 other like this

Elle-C This was truly hilarious -- thanks for posting!

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Cold Roses--Chp. 12: Liebe Me, Hate Me, Lie to Me

posted by Summer_Leanne

A BIG BIG BIG thank Du to everyone for ALL the support and, of course, Lesen my story. There's not enough I can do to repay Du for your kindness <333 I like this chapter, and I hope Du enjoy it too :] Thank Du again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Love Me, Hate Me, Lie to Me
The further Summer ran from Forks, she felt like an important piece of her life had recently gone missing. She was happy the Cullens weren’t physically hurt, and Aro hadn’t been thinking spiteful thoughts against them. But, there was a chance he was only thinking about killing them while she...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Ten)

posted by moolah

Homemade Banner

Bella’s P.O.V:
I was hyperventilating when I stepped into the Cullen garage. I saw the car Ali and Jazz had taken me into to Arizona. And then the car that had come back when I was “dead” with Ali as my visitor. The car I promised Edward I would wait until after graduation for my wish made me cry the most. The one where we ran into Jacob-and went into the woods.
Although I was supposed to go to the hotel Carlisle told me to go strait to Alice and Edward. I had Cullen clothes on so I would smell like a vampire. I did. I smelled like all my Favorit people. Emmett, Alice, Edward, Esme, Carlisle,...

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Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 5~ [TWO]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[TWO]
    Along the way, a girl ran up to me, and she looked . She help a whip like that one girl I killed a few days ago.
    "You kill my sister, I kill you!" She said, and cracked her whip at me.
    I raised my leg, and it wrapped around my leg. I brought my leg back and her weapon of choice was now on my right leg.
    "I did kill her, just like I'll kill you!" I said, raised my gun, two shots to her abdomen, and she went down.
    I...

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Robert Pattinson Related to Dracula?

posted by Hellohoudini

Robert Pattinson Related to Dracula?
Von Twilight_News |

According to ET:

“The Associated Press says researchers at Ancestry.com have connected Pattinson and the Transylvanian ruler through their relationship to the British royal family; the site claims Pattinson is a distant cousin of Princes Harry and William, who are distant nephews of Vlad the Impaler.
“Tracing Pattinson’s family back to Vlad was difficult research, but the pieces that unraveled created the perfect accompaniment to ‘The Twilight Saga,’” sagte Anastasia Tyler, a genealogist at Ancestry.com. “Without any myth oder magic, we find royalty and Vampire lurking in Pattinson’s life — making his story just as Supernatural as the one he’s playing on screen.”

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Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 4~ [SIX]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Four
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[SIX]
    "Oh my god," I sagte and sat in the chair Jerek did when I went to take a shower.
    "So, what do we do, doc?" Tabra asked.
    "We try to get him back. Tabra run outside and see if Du can still-"
    "It's too late," I interrupted.
    "How so?" She asked.
    "We don't know what time he was take, we just know he was taken between the ten Minuten of my shower, which means that he could...

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the follow up to a beautiful death part 8

posted by xroylex

"hey! nessie!" blake greeted me in the car park he must of been waiting for me.
"heya blake whatssup?"
"well i was just wondering did Du want to do something tonight?" he sounded nervous but he wanted to be confident and i needed a night out and pluss i didnt want to go back there. not tonight anyway.
"sure what did Du have in mind?" i smiled as his eyes widened.
"erm well my mum and dad are going out tonight so we could have a film? i mean i can get other people around? if Du want?"
"no thats fine i would Liebe to come and watch a film with you. see Du tonight then"
i didnt really know most...

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the follow up to a beautiful death part 5

posted by xroylex

the morrning passed quickly so when i started to walk towards the dining hall i was thinking about what had happened the two leasons i was in.
i sat at the back with my haube still up when they asked me to take it down i just looked at them and they just sagte oh no matter keep it up. this was teachers. the students looked like they hated me allready so i kept it up.
but i guessed i could go round with my haube up all Tag so as i grabbed my lunch and caught sight of erpel, drake staring at me smiling patting the chair oppersit him. i started to walk over listerning to him and his mates chatting.
"bet...

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Soundtrack Twilight Eclipse

posted by meizoel

Here It's The Liste Soundtrack Of Twilight Eclipse

1. Metric - Eclipse (All Yours)

2. Muse - Liebe is Forever

3. The Bravery - Ours

4. Florence And The Machine - Heavy In Your Arms

5. Sia - My Love

6. Fanfarlo - Atlas

7. The Black Keys - Chop And Charge

8. The Dead Weather - Rolling In On A Burning Tire

9. Beck & Bat For Lashes - Let's Get Lost

10. Vampire Weekend - Jonathan Low

11. Unkle feat The Black Engel - With Du In My Head

12. Eastren Conference Champions - A Million Miles An Hour

13. Band Of Pferde - Life On Earth

14. Cee Lo Green - What Part Of Forever

15. Howard ufer - Jacob's Theme

16. Battles - The Line

17. Bombay Bicycle Club - How Can Du schlucken So Mouch Sleep

cek www.free-writing.com if u want download it

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New Moon - Chapter 1 - Party (pages 16-20)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY

Edward sprawled across the couch
while I started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits. When I perched on the edge of the sofa in front of him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. It wasn't exactly as comfortable as a sofa cushion would be, what with his chest being hard and cold - and perfect - as an ice sculpture, but it was definitely preferable. He pulled the old afghanisch, afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me so I wouldn't freeze beside his body.
"You know, I've never had much patience...

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a beautiful death part 9

posted by xroylex

*so what type of party is this?" i have never been to that many partys well i have but none with a guy who i only know a little bit and could i dont know be taking me to any type of paty
"its just a mates house party mum and dad is out for the weekend so he just wanted one" he shrugged
"oh"
it was half way down the straße were i started to hear the tudding of Musik
oh god it was that type of party
"we could turn around Du know i mean we dont have to go to this party i can take Du home?" wow it was like he could read my mind. rememinded em of dad
"no no its just a little diffrent really i mean...

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Dreams do come true Chapter 15

posted by Darktimes104

I need to be Mehr on oben, nach oben of my updating!

Emmett's POV:
Rose,Carmen, Kate, and Esme returned about two hours after they left. I ran to the door when I saw Rose but, Carmen and Kate kept me away, "You know Du aren't suppose to see the wedding kleid before the wedding." I stopped off annoyed. I went to sit on the couch. The annoyed feeling I felt went away when I saw the 'I think I'm going to throw up' look on Edwards face because Tanya, once again, was hanging on him. I let out a booming laugh and Edward gave me and evil glare.

Rosalie's POV:
I found the perfect dress, the straps came just below...

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Hidden Love-Chapter Four

posted by Rose22882

I wasn't scared of them but my parents dead faces kept popping in my head. Edward looked at me sadly and stepped back.

"Think about it Bella would Du really want to die" Alice asked me carefully. Truth was I was asked that quetion every Monat since my parents died and I knew the answer.

" No I wouldn't but I'm not afraid to die even at my own hands ." I sagte knowing that I didn't want to die until the men that murderd my parents were dead. Edward breathed a sigh of relief and I wanted to yell at him. He shouldn't care about me no one does they just want me dead.

" Why were Du trying to sneak...

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True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Two)

posted by moolah

Alice,Rosalie,and Bella.Best Friends.

Alice’s P.O.V:
When we finally got done crying on each others shoulders we had to take a break from Truth oder dare for like ten minutes. Bella stared out the window for that time sniffling and begging us not to think about her rape. We agreed immediately, so she felt better.
Bella sat silent for another five Minuten while Rosalie and I talked about Truth oder Dare Fragen we had in the past. When Bella finally came around we had stopped at a drugstore because she sagte she was thirsty. So, while Rosalie went in a bought a Crush orange Soda. Bella looked over at me and said, “I’m sorry,...

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Gone Part 2

posted by CarlislesLover

Hey guys
This is the Weiter part of my new Fan fic.
Enjoy!!
XXX

I walked into the building which I was told is a block of apartments.
“Hi I’m Isabella Swan. I brought an apartment here” I told the woman at the reception. “That would be apartment number 16”

“Where is that sorry?”

“Go up two floors and walk down the corridor until Du find number 16 on the left hand side”

“Ok thank you” I walked into the elevator and pushed the 2 button. The elevator left of in a flash which made my stomach turn. I was going to have to get used to this. The doors opened and I stepped out wobbling....

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Dreams do come true Chapter 14

posted by Darktimes104

Emmett's POV:
I was lying Weiter to Rose on the bed, the sun was shining bright through the window causing rainbows to form on our skin. "Morning." I sagte Küssen her softly. "Good morning." She smiled as she wrapped the sheet around herself and walked into the closet. I got up and put on a gray t-shirt and a pair of pants. Five Minuten later Rose walked out of the closet wearing a dark blue dress. She had a look in her eyes that sagte something was wrong. "What's wrong Rose?"
"Esme, Carmen, and I were talking about getting married here but, I now I don't think I want to."
She sat down on the bed...

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Life after Breaking Dawn Part 13! (Lifetime)

posted by smileyfaceddude

Edward

“We need to sort this whole mess out.” I announced on Renesmee’s behalf. I was discombobulated. My mind searched for an answer. I turned to Jasper in the left corner of the big sitting room.
“These dreams she’s having, I have them too when I read her mind. They are awful. Cynddylan is there. He keeps asking her to Mitmachen the Volturi. But they are dead. We burnt the remains of them last night.”
I felt the most confused I had ever felt. He was dead. He was gone and a pile of ashes in Volterra. I heard a glimpse of Jacob’s thoughts; he was going to stay with Renesmee. Good. He...

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Life after Breaking Dawn Part 10!

posted by smileyfaceddude

Edward

I heard Alice’s thought and was immediately baffled… she then sent another message,
-THEY’RE PLANNING SOMETHING, SOMETHING BIG. RENESMEE IN DANGER!
Anger and, for the first tie for a long time, fear, took over my body and senses, I wanted to go straight to the schloss and rip those guys’ heads off!
“I know that look! What wrong?” Jacob demanded, his big warm hand was on my shoulder.
“They’re planning something, something to do with Renesmee…” I informed him. Jacob started shaking, like he always does when he’s very angry, he broke into a run, I caught him immediately,...

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The unknown secret - Chapter 3

posted by megan-ox123

I was running, and running but I wasn't fast enough. My legs were aching in agony I felt like I might trip over myself, I didn't know why I was running
or where I was running, I just knew I had to. When I got to a large spot of gras, grass filled with wild Blumen and burning sun, I finally knew it was safe, sicher to
stop. I looked down, my dark brown hair was curled and shining as It reached down to my waist of a purple and blue dress that I was wearing. Just
short enough to reach my thys. It was absolutely beautiful it sparkled in the sun I didn't want to look away from it but I felt as if I had to, so...

My Moon, My Man. Chapter 4

posted by AnonymousXXX

Previously...
After about 10 Minuten in the dusche I couldn’t even feel the cut on my head it was strange. When I got out of the dusche I put on the clothes Amber and Alice had gegeben me. I looked at myself in the mirror. The cut on my head was almost completely gone. I gasped as I saw this. There was a knock on the door. It was Amber.
“Alana… Is everything alright in there?” she ask
“Y…y-yea.” My voice was shaky. This is too much to handle.”Everything is fine.”
I came out of the bathroom trembling. She came up to me and hugged me.
“I’ll have Carlisle explain everything....

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10 ways to annoy Charlie schwan

posted by emmett

10 Ways to Annoy Charlie schwan

10. Tell him Bella’s pregnant – but you’re having trouble figuring out who the father is… Bella’s unsure whether it’s Edward, Carlisle, Jacob oder Mike.

9. Ask him what Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo means in the phonetic alphabet.

8. Decorate his handcuffs with rosa spitze and Blumen the call the station requesting to speak with Chief schwan Princess.

7. Whenever he is around, narrate all that is happening into the invisible walkie-talkie that’s strapped to your shoulder, speaking only in cop talk.

6. Take his gun and use it in a bank holdup – it will...