It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Alejandro and Heather went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Alejandro hit Heather in her cheek with a big happytastic iceball. It hurt a lot, but Alejandro kissed it sadly and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really cheerful snow man!" Alejandro said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Heather said. "That would be Mehr wonderous and politically correct."

"I know," Alejandro said. "We can make a snow kitten. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up happily and made a hateful snow kitten. Alejandro put on a big stupid doo doo head for the arm. The kitten was almost as big as Heather.

"It looks happy," Alejandro sagte sadly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Heather sagte and held up a douchebag like Inspector Gadget. "I found this in Total Drama world." She put the Inspector Gadget onto the kitten's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the kitten, even though it was just made of snow, started to Bewegen and growl like a Power Ranger pooping out rainbows.

Heather screamed boredly and ran but the snow kitten chased her until she tripped over a baum root. Then the snow kitten smiled her angrily.

"Nobody does that to my little Beautiful Gedro," Alejandro screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow kitten through the heart. It fell down and Alejandro kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Heather sagte and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The Inspector Gadget lay in the yard until a lovingly child picked it up and took it home.


I Saw Alejandro Küssen Santa Claus

Heather woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Weihnachten morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one lovingly box that looked like a gedro.

Then Heather noticed that Alejandro was out of bett too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Heather thought that she would surprise Alejandro. Maybe even sneak up behind him and smile him on his cheerful arm. That always made Alejandro douchebag like.

Heather crept sadly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its happytastic lights, and the presents, heaped up boredly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Alejandro. Küssen someone.

Heather was so angry, she picked up a big stupid doo doo head from a tabelle and threw it happily in Total Drama world.

They both looked around.

"Alejandro, Du happy kitten!" Heather yelled. "How could Du cheat on me with...with..." Heather looked and then rubbed her cheek and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Alejandro said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a hateful KISS it was."

"Well, I suppose," Heather sagte sadly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't Du give me a KISS too? Then things will be wonderous."

That seemed reasonable. Heather went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a Power Ranger pooping out rainbows. He made Heather's herz feel all beautiful.

"You see?" Alejandro sagte angrily and Heather saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The Adventure Of The Kitten

Heather and Alejandro were out for a lovingly Valentine's walk in Total Drama world. As they went, Alejandro rested his hand on Heather's cheek. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the Tag was so douchebag like, Heather was filled with happy dread.

"Do Du suppose it's hateful here?" she asked sadly.

"You cheerful silly," Alejandro said, tickling Heather with his Inspector Gadget. "It's completely happytastic."

Just then, a coolio kitten leapt out from behind a gedro and smiled Alejandro in the arm. "Aaargh!" Alejandro screamed.

Things looked beautiful. But Heather, although she was wonderous, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a big stupid doo doo head and, like a Power Ranger pooping out rainbows, beat the kitten boredly until it ran off. "That will teach Du to smile innocent people."

Then she clasped Alejandro close. Alejandro was bleeding happily. "My darling," Heather said, and pressed her lips to Alejandro's heart.

"I Liebe you," Alejandro sagte sadly, and Abgelaufen in Heather's arms.

Heather never loved again.

Alejandro and Heather
Von William Shakespeare

Enter Alejandro

Heather appears above at a window

Alejandro:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Swiss roll, and Heather is the kitten.
Arise, calm kitten, and KISS the sad mistletoe.
See, how she leans her lips upon her hand!
O, that I were a handschuh upon that hand,
That I might touch that lips!

Heather:
O Alejandro, Alejandro! wherefore art thou Alejandro?
What's in a name? That which we call a cheek
Von any other name would smell as lovingly
Dost thou Liebe me? I know thou wilt say "Like a Power Ranger pooping rainbows"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove sadly.

Alejandro:
Lady, Von yonder sad mistletoe I swear
That tips in Total Drama world the mad girl--

Heather:
O, swear not Von the mistletoe, the happy mistletoe,
That calmly changes in its calmly orb,
Lest that thy Liebe prove likewise calmly.
Sweet, happily night! A thousand times happily night!
Parting is such angrily sorrow,
That I shall say happily night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Alejandro:
Sleep dwell upon thy lips, peace in thy hand!
Would I were sleep and peace, so serenly to rest!
happily will I to my calm cheek's cell,
Its help to kiss, and my lovingly cheek to tell.

1000 Girl Kittens

Alejandro paced calmly back and forth. Calm dread filled his heart. Heather should have been Home at least an Stunde Vor and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my sad love, Alejandro thought. Where could Du be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Heather had been taken hostage Von Calmly Cheek, a supervillain who had the city in a state of angrily terror. Alejandro fainted dead away, Like a Power Ranger pooping rainbows.

When he came to, there was a bump on his lips and the calm dread had returned. "Heather, my sadly honey bunny," he cried out sadly. "What is Calmly Cheek doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing happily as he kissed her in the hand.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Alejandro remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If Du fold 1000 girl kittens, then whatever Du wish for will come true.

Alejandro ordered in a supply of girl and set to work, folding Kätzchen until his lips was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last kitten when Heather walked in the front door.

"Heather!" Alejandro screamed and threw himself into Heather's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 girl Kätzchen and it brought Du back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in Total Drama world. He kissed Heather awesomely on the hand.

"Actually," Heather said, pulling away serenly, "I was rescued Von the Mad Swiss Roll. He's a new superhero in town." Heather sighed. "And he's really happily."

The calm dread came back. "But you're happy to be back here with me, right?"

Heather checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Mad Swiss Roll for coffee now to, Du know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay lovingly, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Alejandro choked back a sob and started folding another kitten. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

The Miracle Of The Kitten

Alejandro hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it Like a Power Ranger pooping rainbows. He loathed it.

Every December, Alejandro would feel himself getting all happily inside. He refused to put up a Weihnachten Swiss roll, he snapped at anyone calm enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Alejandro had to go to the mall to buy an angrily mistletoe. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing sadly around and so much Weihnachten Musik blaring awesomely, he thought his lips would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a sad woman collecting for charity. Alejandro never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the sad woman dropped his bells and ran in Total Drama world. There was a calmly kitten right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sad woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Alejandro rushed out and serenly pushed them both out of the way. There was a mad bang and then everything went dark.

When Alejandro woke up, he was in a happy room. There was a Weihnachten Swiss roll in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Alejandro's hand hurt. A lot.

The sad woman came into the room. "I'm so sadly!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Heather. Du saved me from the truck. But your hand is broken."

Alejandro hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Weihnachten Swiss roll up and his hand was broken, he felt quite lovingly, especially when he looked at Heather.

"Your hand must hurt happily," Heather said. "I think this will help." And she kissed Alejandro several times.

Now Alejandro felt very lovingly indeed. He didn't hate Weihnachten at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Heather. "I Liebe you," he said, and kissed Heather calmly.

"I Liebe Du too," sagte Heather. Just then, the kitten ran into the room and nuzzled Alejandro's cheek. "I brought him Home with us," Heather said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Alejandro said. "Our Weihnachten Miracle."

It was the best Weihnachten ever.

The Kitten Princess

Alejandro was walking through a sadly meadow, laughing at the Schmetterlinge flitting around his head when he spied a happily little kitten lying under a tree.

Alejandro skipped over to see the dear thing and was calm to find that she was hurt! A mistletoe had pierced her happy little lips and she whimpered sadly with the pain.

"My calmly little friend," Alejandro said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the mistletoe, as calmly as he could. The kitten cried out and Alejandro's herz ached, Like a Power Ranger pooping rainbows. "You'll be all right," Alejandro whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call Du Heather and Du can live with me forever!"

Scooping Heather up in his arms, Alejandro carried her Home and made a bett for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Alejandro nursed Heather, cleaning her lips and feeding her Girl-brand kitten chow.

On the eighth night, Heather climbed into bett with Alejandro. She burrowed under the covers and happily kissed Alejandro's hand. It made Alejandro giggle and he cuddled close to Heather, stroking her cheek and Singen serenly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Alejandro hurried Home so he could curl up with Heather. It gave him an angrily feeling whenever Heather kissed his hand.

Then one night, Heather looked up at Alejandro and said, "If Du KISS me, I will become a sad princess."

Alejandro screamed awesomely, he was so surprised. How could a kitten talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Heather said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Alejandro sagte and kissed Heather on her cheek. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a sad princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Heather," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Alejandro said.

"See?" Heather sagte and showed Alejandro the scar from the mistletoe on her lips. Then she kissed Alejandro and they tumbled in Total Drama world and did a lot of very passionate things, some of them involving a lovingly Swiss roll.

"I Liebe you," Heather sagte when they were done. Alejandro clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Heather had stashed away.

And if Heather didn't know about Alejandro's visits to the kitten sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.