“It’s worthless.”
Cas may not have known, but he couldn’t have been Mehr wrong as he handed the amulet back to Dean. That amulet had grown up with us, but he wasn’t to know that. I stahl, stola a quick glance at Dean who was looking at Castiel in...agreement? Couldn’t be. He knew what it meant. When I glanced over to where Cas had been, he had gone, leaving me and my brother alone in the motel room.
I walked over to the bett and shoved the towels into our duffel bag, then looked at Dean, who was still holding the halskette in his right hand and his own duffel bag with the other, hitching it onto his shoulder. I sighed.
“Dean, we can still win this.”
Dean looked up at me with a look that scared me; it was rare that I saw my brother without a bit of attitude and kick to his personality, and seeing this giving up, deflated person in front of me almost didn’t register with me. He raised an eyebrow in a way that only Dean does.
“Really?” he asked quietly. “How?”
“I don’t know,” I said, sounding Mehr determined and certain than I had ever felt in at least the last few months. “But Du and me. We’ll find a way.” I had to make Dean feel that he could still count on me, and after everything I had done, and everything we’d been through, that the Engel and apocalypse could be overcome Von us if we were strong enough. If he didn’t believe what I was saying, neither would I.
He looked at me, his expression unchanging. My face fell slightly at the little impact that my reassuring words had had on my brother. I could only do this if he was there with me, and he was not going to give up on my arsch and say yes to Michael. I wouldn’t let him.
Dean pushed his duffel bag higher up onto his shoulder and kept it there with one hand, leaving the other free to hold the pendant. He continued to walk straight past me and up to the mote door to open it, clearly indicating that our conversation was over, whether I wanted it that way oder not. To be fair, maybe it was better not to talk to Dean right now; after our experiences and arguments in Heaven, we both had a lot to think about. As he hesitated to open the door, he hung his right arm down and began to outstretch his hand to release the amulet...into the bin. I held my breath as he considered what he was doing, and what Castiel had said, and felt a sharp sting of hurt of I heard the clang of the pendant hitting the bottom of the bin. I breathed out as Dean opened the door, not quite believing that he wouldn’t take it back. I didn’t want to call his bluff, and remained silent as he left the room and walked over to the Impala outside and climbed in. I slowly picked up my own duffel bag and hitched it onto my shoulder, walking over to the door with one last look into the bin to see the amulet almost looking Lost without its 30-year owner. Every instinct told me to pick up the halskette and stash it somewhere, and maybe one Tag my brother would want it back. Maybe when we were talking together, a few years on – if we survived – I would pull it out of my pocket and all would be right with the world again.
But maybe it wasn’t that simple.
I took a final glance at the amulet that I’d gegeben to my brother so many years ago, then carried on to walk out of the room and over to Dean and the Impala. Maybe one Tag he’d forgive me for everything...or I’d forgive myself.