Is anyone here who have interest in "Haiku"....

Because, i wanna write Haiku.. .
.
and i wrote it,
Need your Guter Rat ..
About haiku i wrote!
Here:
A lady
And love
Rainy
.
Dusk a
lady lad
man in
.
I want your advice.. .

 K_lleH-Hell_k posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Poesie Antwort

SRitchieable said:
The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement.

A traditional Japanese haiku goes:
Girls planting paddy [ie reis fields]
Only their song
Free of mud.

As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the reis paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if Du think it through.

I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern oder paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie reis paddy planting, Liebe etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject.

So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what Du want to say. Is a lady in Liebe like the rain oder a rainy day? Is Liebe like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps:
Rain falls on
A lady; it
Is like love.

oder whatever it is Du TRULY want to say.


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 The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement. A traditional Japanese haiku goes: Girls planting paddy [ie reis fields] Only their song Free of mud. As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the reis paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if Du think it through. I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern oder paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie reis paddy planting, Liebe etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject. So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what Du want to say. Is a lady in Liebe like the rain oder a rainy day? Is Liebe like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps: Rain falls on A lady; it Is like love. oder whatever it is Du TRULY want to say.
posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Thank You!!
K_lleH-Hell_k posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
RiderOfTempest said:
i always thought that haiku had to have 5 letters in the 1st line, seven in the 2nd, and 5 again in the 3rd.....
then again, i've never studied it properly....

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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Lol, :D
K_lleH-Hell_k posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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actually its five syllables not letters
RiverIce posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
Jace123 said:
I like Haiku its preety nice!
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
RiverIce said:
I always thought that Haiku was like
1st line: 5 syllables
2nd line: 7
1st line: 5
like:

The Blumen I pick
They dance with colors, like me
The Farben never fade

or

Liebe is a Boulder
Du can study it nicely
oder let the rock fall

i like the 2nd one
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 I always thought that Haiku was like 1st line: 5 syllables 2nd line: 7 1st line: 5 like: The Blumen I pick They dance with colors, like me The Farben never fade oder Liebe is a Boulder Du can study it nicely oder let the rock fall i like the 2nd one
posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
audrey34-z said:
A haiku is a short,timed Poesie that expression throught a 5-7-5 syllabes.
Du have to expell your image that is ephemer.Meaning it doesn't stay too long.

Japan origin, they have to compress their sensation,season into small line. The best option is figure of style,compar it to another object,material oder double sense.

Your's is dry,only 4 syllabes to each vers (Tetrasyllabe) and not so expressif.The text give Du an illusion of being an haiku since the 2nd one is long to others snce Du can do a 7 syllabes one.
But it doesn't mean that Du have to stop, the road to a better haiku is long and expression and idea clasing will make Du a better writter.
The road may be long but Du can do it.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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