After weeks of getting bullied, I was beginning to lose hope. I really needed a way to cope with my sadness. I looked at my Siberian Husky, Diesel, and said, "I wish Du could talk. Du could tell me what to do." He could make noises that sounded like he was talking, but he couldn't talk like a person. One day, I saw a pocket knife, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I made some cuts on my leg. It really hurt, but the pain gave me something to focus on other than how lonely I was. It made me forget about all the bullying....for a brief period. I kept doing it. I later heard a song Von a band called Nine Inch Nails. The song was called "Hurt". I felt a connection with the first set of lyrics.
"I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real."
One day, my aunt caught me cutting. "Autumn!" she cried. "What are Du doing?!" I dropped the pocket messer and began to cry. She asked, "Why are Du doing this?" I said, "It helps me cope with loneliness. I don't have any friends." She helped me clean the wounds. She said, "Autumn, Du need to find a better way to cope. It's killing me to see Du like this." She hugged me. She did some research to find ways to help me. I took up painting and played my instruments more. Of course, I did have my bad days, and habits don't disappear like something in a magic act. One day, I got out the pocket knife. I was about to cut myself, but Diesel took it from me and dropped it at my uncle's feet. My uncle then hit the pocket messer from me. Sometimes, I'd cut with scissors, but Diesel would usually stop me. He'd make a noise that sounded like he was saying, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It would make me laugh, and I'd forget all about cutting. I still wished that I had a human friend. Then, one day, the seemingly impossible occurred.
"I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real."
One day, my aunt caught me cutting. "Autumn!" she cried. "What are Du doing?!" I dropped the pocket messer and began to cry. She asked, "Why are Du doing this?" I said, "It helps me cope with loneliness. I don't have any friends." She helped me clean the wounds. She said, "Autumn, Du need to find a better way to cope. It's killing me to see Du like this." She hugged me. She did some research to find ways to help me. I took up painting and played my instruments more. Of course, I did have my bad days, and habits don't disappear like something in a magic act. One day, I got out the pocket knife. I was about to cut myself, but Diesel took it from me and dropped it at my uncle's feet. My uncle then hit the pocket messer from me. Sometimes, I'd cut with scissors, but Diesel would usually stop me. He'd make a noise that sounded like he was saying, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It would make me laugh, and I'd forget all about cutting. I still wished that I had a human friend. Then, one day, the seemingly impossible occurred.
September 8, 2011
I am feeling much better today. I don't feel great, but I feel much better than I did a few days ago. I was able to go to school today. Michael, Sabrina, and Bridget helped me get caught up in my classes. I'm lucky to have such good friends. Of course, I did feel a bit tired after finishing my homework. I took a nap for a while. When I woke up, it was almost 6:00 pm. I didn't realize I had slept that long. When abendessen time came, I ate really well. I didn't feel like eating much for the past couple of days. My appetite has returned. I think I will go to bett early tonight. I'm feeling pretty tired right now. I'm not completely better, but I'm close to it.
I am feeling much better today. I don't feel great, but I feel much better than I did a few days ago. I was able to go to school today. Michael, Sabrina, and Bridget helped me get caught up in my classes. I'm lucky to have such good friends. Of course, I did feel a bit tired after finishing my homework. I took a nap for a while. When I woke up, it was almost 6:00 pm. I didn't realize I had slept that long. When abendessen time came, I ate really well. I didn't feel like eating much for the past couple of days. My appetite has returned. I think I will go to bett early tonight. I'm feeling pretty tired right now. I'm not completely better, but I'm close to it.
June 11, 2011
Summer Vacation has been great so far. While I've been enjoying school Mehr since I've gained a couple of friends, it's nice to have a break from it. I also received some exciting news. On July 9, I am going to be in Chicago to see The Devil Wants Peace in concert! I was so excited when my uncle told me he was able to afford the tickets. I later told my friend, Michael, "You should have seen me when my uncle told me the good news. I was jumping up and down, crying tears of joy." Normally, I'm not that excitable, but The Devil Wants Peace is one of my Favorit bands. Since I was six, I dreamed of seeing them live, and now, I can stop dreaming. This dream is becoming a reality. I don't know if I'll be lucky enough to meet them, but the fact that I'm lucky enough to see them is great.
Summer Vacation has been great so far. While I've been enjoying school Mehr since I've gained a couple of friends, it's nice to have a break from it. I also received some exciting news. On July 9, I am going to be in Chicago to see The Devil Wants Peace in concert! I was so excited when my uncle told me he was able to afford the tickets. I later told my friend, Michael, "You should have seen me when my uncle told me the good news. I was jumping up and down, crying tears of joy." Normally, I'm not that excitable, but The Devil Wants Peace is one of my Favorit bands. Since I was six, I dreamed of seeing them live, and now, I can stop dreaming. This dream is becoming a reality. I don't know if I'll be lucky enough to meet them, but the fact that I'm lucky enough to see them is great.