It was a beautiful Tag in Equestria. regenbogen Dash, Applejack, and Rarity were sitting at a restaurant having lunch.

Applejack: Well, thanks Du two for helping out at my farm.
regenbogen Dash: No problem.
Rarity: There was no problem for me either, except for...
Applejack: Yes?
Rarity: Dirt.
regenbogen Dash: That's nothing to worry about. Besides, if Du get it on you, Du can just wash it off.
Applejack: I'm surprised Du didn't wear that farming outfit Du made when Trenderhoof was visiting.
Rarity: Oh yeah, about that...

Yesterday at Carousel Botique

Sweetie Belle: *Wearing Rarity's farming outfit* Howdy y'all. I'm Rarity, and I'm gonna pretend to be a farmer just to impress this stallion!
Applebloom & Scootaloo: *Laughing*
Sweetie Belle: Du know, it's actually not easy to see in this thing. I got a better idea. Let's modify it so that it will fit us!

Back at the lunch.

Rarity: And while they were making it shorter, Sweetie Belle somehow ended up setting it on fire.
Applejack: How is that possible?
regenbogen Dash: Fireplace?
Rarity: Fireplace.
Gilda: *Arrives* Hey regenbogen Crash. Still hanging out with these lame ponies?
regenbogen Dash: They're not lame! They're my friends.
Rarity: And her name is regenbogen Dash.
Gilda: Whatever. I stahl, stola $1,000,000 from this rich stallion in Vanhoover, and got this awesome gem. The owner sagte it had some power, but I don't know what it does. Shall I try it out on you?
regenbogen Dash: No.
Gilda: Fine. I'll try it out on the three of Du then. *Uses magic gem*

The gem teleported them into a grassy field. Nothing could be seen except for a faraway mountain, and some trees.

Gilda: Wait a minute.
Applejack: What the hay? *Looking around* Where are we?
Gilda: I don't know. This thing just ended up-

All of a sudden, a message started appearing into the ground.

The user of this gem has challenged Du to a war. If Du defeat the user, Du may go home.

Gilda: Oh, so that's what it does.
Rarity: Du never knew that until now?
Gilda: Well, the owner barely told me anything about the gem!

Two days ago.

Store owner: Remember, this gem can teleport you, and your enemies to any part of the past. The winner gets to go back into the present, but they have to kill their enemies first.

Now Gilda remembered.

Gilda: Oh. Looks like I remember now. We have to fight each other.
regenbogen Dash: Fine with me.
British Soldiers: *Arrive* Halt. What are Du four doing here?
Gilda: Umm....
British Soldier: Du four are underarrest.

Theme song: link

So the four of them got arrested, and were on a ship in sea.

Gilda: Where are we going?
British Soldier: To the United States of Equestria.
Applejack: What Jahr is this?
British Soldier: 1745.
Rarity: Du know what this means?
regenbogen Dash: We're in medieval times.

STH Productions Presents

Just Be Me

Episode 1: The Three Maresketeers

Based off of the video Von AgrolChannel on youtube.

Starring

regenbogen Dash
applejack
and Rarity

Also starring

The ponies

Princess Celestia
Lord Burlington
Arhcer
Silver
Kan Can
Jerry
Pete
Applebloom
Sweetie Belle
Scootaloo

Also starring the Griffons

Gilda
Max
Tomtom
Porter
Lucifer
McKing
And Mike

And stop the music.

Applejack, Gilda, regenbogen Dash, and Rarity were brought into the docks of Ponyville on the ship they were put on.

British Soldier: Now don't come back to our country ever again Du Equestrian scum.
Rarity: But I'm British too!
British Soldier: *Ignores Rarity* Let's go captain. We got everything we need.
British Captain: *Driving ship out of docks*
Jerry: *Sees Gilda* Griffon!!
Gilda: *Flies away*
Celestia's Soldiers: *Running towards Jerry*
Jerry: She's getting away.
regenbogen Dash: What's going on?
Jerry: Du didn't hear? The griffons have waged war against us ponies. Their kingdom is near ours, and we cannot allow them to take any peice of our territory.
Applejack: What happens if they do?
Jerry: We kill them.
Rarity: Nngh. Isn't there a peaceful way to settle this?
Applejack: *Slaps Rarity* No! We have to kill them.
Jerry: *Looking at Applejack* I like your style, but Du ladies are not allowed to fight.
regenbogen Dash, Applejack: What?!!?
Rarity: Well, I wouldn't want to fight anyway.
Applejack: Are Du saying that we're not allowed to fight due to our gender?!
regenbogen Dash: I've dealt with many stereotypical situations, but this is crazy!
Jerry: I don't make the rules ma'am, Du have to talk to Princess Celestia about this.
Applejack: Princess Celestia?
Rarity: She banished Princess Luna 800 years ago.
regenbogen Dash: Oh, right. Take us to her please.
Jerry: If Du insist.

So Jerry, and a few other soldiers took them to Celestia's schloss in Canterlot.

Celestia: How dare those griffons attempt to attack us. They will realize their clumsy decision will give them nothing, but pain.
Soldier 24: Right-o your highness.
Jerry: *Arrives* Princess, visitors.
Celestia: What do they want to talk about?
regenbogen Dash: Hi Celestia.
Celestia: Who are you?
regenbogen Dash: Du mean Du don't remember?
Applejack: Take it easy Dash. I'm Applejack, this is regenbogen Dash, and the white unicorn is Rarity.
Celestia: What do Du want to talk about?
regenbogen Dash: Why can't mares fight? You're a princess, Du should be giving us equal rights.
Celestia: It is not my decision on who gets to fight, oder not. Du must talk to Lord Burlington.
Applejack: Jerry sagte we had to talk to you.
Jerry: Uh.. I forgot?
Celestia: Take them to Lord Burlington.
Jerry: Yes your highness.
Rarity: Lord Burlington?
regenbogen Dash: I wonder what he's like.

They were soon about to find out.

Lord Burlington: *Sitting in big red chair* What do those griffons have planned?
Pete: We don't know. They could do anything.
Lord Burlington: Then we must warn everypony immediately. If those griffons try to-
Jerry: *Enters room* Sir, three ponies want to talk to you.
Lord Burlington: What do Du want?
regenbogen Dash: The three of us want to fight in this war.
Lord Burlington: Du three? *Laughing* This is an outrage. No mare is capable of fighting.
Rarity: He's right, so why don't we go home?
Lord Burlington: Yes. Go home, and get back to working where Du belong.
Applejack: Oh yeah? *Grabs axe, and throws it at Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: *Ducks, and doesn't get hit from axe. He then sees that it has stuck to his chair* Okay, you're in.

In the Griffon Kingdom, Gilda was meeting other griffons in her army.

Gilda: *Walks into castle* Hello?
Tomtom: Another griffon has arrived sir.
McKing: Ah, hello madam. What can I do for you?
Gilda: I need to Mitmachen your army in order to defeat the ponies.
McKing: Well, I don't think that's possible. Du see-
Gilda: *Choking McKing* Let me join, oder else.
McKing: *Coughing* Okay.
Gilda: That's Mehr like it.
McKing: Meet some of my trusted soldiers. Over there is Tomtom.
Tomtom: Hi!
McKing: Over here is Max.
Max: Good Tag to Du ma'am.
McKing: Porter.
Porter: Hello.
Gilda: Aren't Du a little too fat to be in an army?
Porter: No, that's just so that it'll be difficult for any arrows to kill me. My stomach is so big, that it just reflects every Arrow shot towards me.
Gilda: I don't believe you.
Porter: Fine. *Stands up against wall*
Tomtom: *Gives Gilda a bow & arrow*
Porter: Now shoot my stomach.
Gilda: If Du say so. *Shoots arrow*

The Arrow bounced right off of Porter's stomach.

Porter: Need I say more?
Gilda: No. You've convinced me.
McKing: Now if you're done shooting arrows at Porter's stomach, there are two others I want Du to meet. Lucifer, who is an expert on cannons.
Lucifer: Right-o. If Du need to know anything about a cannon, ask me.
Gilda: Sure.
McKing: And last, but not least is Mike.
Mike: Hey!
Gilda: Nice to meet you.
Mike: *Holding a toy tommy gun* I'm going to kill you.
McKing: Mike, how many times do I have to tell you, that thing will never work. Nopony would ever want this so called weapon.
Mike: Maybe not now, but they will within two hundred years from now.
McKing: Anything Du say Mike.

After regenbogen Dash, Applejack, and Rarity joined Lord Burlington's army, they went to meet other soldiers.

Lord Burlington: What are Du going to do when we start attacking.
regenbogen Dash: Just being me.
Applejack: Yup. Same here.
Rarity: Me too.
Lord Burlington: What's that supposed to mean?
regenbogen Dash: You'll see when we start fighting.
Lord Burlington: Something tells me I don't want to see.
Applejack: We promise, having us in your army will be the greatest decision Du ever made.
Lord Burlington: Why do I find that hard to believe. Well, here's a few of our soldiers Du haven't met. Archer here is very skilled with a bow & arrow.
Archer: Nice to meet Du three. I hope Du don't plan on joining us anytime soon.
Lord Burlington: Easy Lieutenant. Du won't be happy with what the orange one plans on doing to Du if Du keep criticizing them about being here to help us stop those griffons.
Archer: Sorry sir. Anyway, my name is Archer. If Du want to know anything about using a bow & arrow, come to me.
regenbogen Dash: Sure. *Sees golden arrows* That looks awesome.
Archer: Du like that? I'll make some for Du if you'd like.
regenbogen Dash: Yeah.
Applejack: *Sees Archer's eyes* How did your eyes become like that?
Archer: Long story, but to make it short, I killed a changeling when it bit my leg.
Lord Burlington: Okay ladies, follow me this way.
regenbogen Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: *Following Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: We have another expert named Silver. He's an expert on armor.
Rarity: *Giggling*
Lord Burlington: What's so funny?
Rarity: I have a friend who has a brother named Shining Armor.
Lord Burlington: That sounds like a stupid name. Hopefully, he doesn't get married to a princess.
Silver: *Walks over* The expert on armor that the lord was talking about is me.
Rarity: *Falling in Liebe with Silver*
Applejack: Uh oh.
regenbogen Dash: Du remember what happened last time Rarity fell in Liebe with a stallion?
Applejack: Ngh. Don't remind me. She did the same thing to Big Macintosh.
regenbogen Dash: Ew.
Rarity: I heard Du two!
Lord Burlington: Ladies, follow me.

The four of them went to see the expert on cannons, Kan Can.

Lord Burlington: Kan Can, stop working on that blasted weapon, and come to me.
Kan Can: *Under a cannon* Sorry sir, unfortunately, I got something in my eyes while working on this thing, and I can't see.
Lord Burlington: Just follow my voice.
Kan Can: Okay. *Bangs head on cannon*
Lord Burlington: You'll have to excuse him. He's a little... Clumsy.
regenbogen Dash: And Du thought we wouldn't be good soldiers.
Applejack: *Notices that Kan Can has no tail* I don't trust him.
Rarity: Whyever not?
Applejack: He has no tail. Never trus-
regenbogen Dash: *Covers Applejack's mouth* Okay, remember what happened last time Du sagte that?
Applejack: I Lost my tail, and everypony made fun of me. Nopony ever lets me forget that.
Lord Burlington: And that's it. Welcome, and I hope Du three enjoy working in my army.

But Rarity was still annoyed about regenbogen Dash, and applejack with talking about her behind her back. She had plans to find out why they did so.

That night, while everypony was asleep, Rarity was thinking about how to find out why regenbogen Dash, and applejack were talking about her behind her back.

Rarity: Hmm, I can't think of anything. They just talked about me falling in Liebe with Sliver, and probably... doing Rule 34 related stuff to him, but I don't care, that's just me. Wait a minute, I got it! They think I'm a Rule 34 addict, and that's why they were talking behind my back. *Goes out of her room to find regenbogen Dash, and Applejack*

Weiter morning, Princess Celestia was having breakfast, when Lord Burlington arrived.

Lord Burlington: Princess, those three mares are not here.
Celestia: What do Du mean?
Lord Burlington: They left! I knew they weren't good enough to be in this army.
Celestia: Perhaps they left to get Mehr supplies.

But they didn't. While regenbogen Dash, and applejack were sleeping, Rarity kidnapped them, and put them in a nearby tower.

regenbogen Dash: *Wakes up* I'm feeling happy today, and- *Notices she's in a bag with Applejack* AJ? Wake up!
Applejack: *Wakes up* Is it time to collect apples? I'm on it Big Mac.
regenbogen Dash: No! It's me regenbogen Dash. We're stuck together in a bag, and I don't know why.
Applejack: *Realizes she is in a terrible situation* Why are we in a bag?
Rarity: Because I put Du in there.
regenbogen Dash: Why?
Rarity: Because Du sagte bad things about me behind my back. What were they?
Applejack: It was nothing.
regenbogen Dash: We were just talking about how Du were going to mas-
Applejack: *Slaps regenbogen Dash* Not here. We'll get punished for saying things like that.
regenbogen Dash: Then let's get out of here.
Applejack: But we have to kill Gilda first.
regenbogen Dash: Why don't we kill Rarity first?
Applejack: Well. Now that Du think about it...
Rarity: oh no.
Applejack: She did tie us up into this bag for no reason, so let's kill her.
Rarity: No! *Teleports from tower to ground*

The other two ponies got out of the bag, and looked for Rarity.

regenbogen Dash: She's gone.
Applejack: It's all your fault!
regenbogen Dash: My fault? I was literally the only one trying to get us out!
Applejack: I helped!
regenbogen Dash: Barely! *Flies out of tower, and goes to another tower*
Rarity: regenbogen Dash, what are Du doing?
Applejack: *Shoots Arrow at regenbogen Dash*

The Arrow hit the wall, and was stuck between two bricks.

regenbogen Dash: Nice try Applejackass! *Shoots kanone at Applejack*
Applejack: *Ducks* Du missed!
Rarity: I must stop them. *Sees another tower, then runs into it* I must stop them before they kill each other.

regenbogen Dash, and applejack were now shooting flaming arrows at each other.

regenbogen Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at the same time*
regenbogen Dash: Stop making your Arrow hit my arrow!
Applejack: I will when Du stop!
regenbogen Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at the same time*
Rarity: *Gets to the oben, nach oben of her tower, and sees fight* They're not even hitting each other. *Grabs cannon*
regenbogen Dash: Hey, Rarity's pointing a kanone at us!
Applejack: Us? She's pointing it at me! *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the Arrow into a shiny fork* A few more, and then I can have a lovely dinner.
regenbogen Dash: *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the Arrow into a shiny spoon* One Mehr Arrow please. I insist!
regenbogen Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity at the same time*
Rarity: *Stops both arrows, and turns both of them into a shiny plate* Are Du finished?

And so, they stopped fighting, and walked back to Celestia's castle.

After regenbogen Dash, Applejack, and Rarity fought each other, they went back to Celestia's castle.

Celestia: What happened?
Lord Burlington: Where did Du three go?
regenbogen Dash: Rarity kidnapped us for no reason.
Rarity: My reason, was because Du were talking about me behind my back.
Applejack: That's a dumb reason.
Lord Burlington: I agree with the orange one.
Rarity: Why? Doesn't anyone agree with me?
Applejack: Du planned on doing something horrible to Silver.
Lord Burlington: What did she have planned?
Rarity: Nothing.
regenbogen Dash: Oh Du had something planned alright. What was it?
Rarity: Nnnnhhhh. Something related to innapropriate material that isn't allowed to be mentioned, but is being mentioned anyway, because I'm a Sex Addict!

Celestia, and Lord Burlington's mouth dropped open, and fell on the floor.

Rarity: Oh shit.
Celestia: She's a sex addict?
regenbogen Dash: We prefer the term rule 34. Now, let us talk to Rarity alone.
Celestia, & Lord Burlington: *Leaving the room*
Applejack: Okay, they're gone.
regenbogen Dash: What the fuck were Du thinking?
Rarity: I was nervous!
Applejack: Don't Du realize that they could execute Du for being addicted to sex?
Rarity: No. *Thinking* Oh, right. We're in mideival times.
regenbogen Dash: And we're stuck in mideival times, until we kill Gilda. Now, we can't do that if Du get us executed for being a rule 34 addict.
Rarity: I'm the one being executed, not you.
Applejack: Let's just get this over with.
Celestia: *Returns* I heard the entire conversation.
regenbogen Dash: Du did?
Applejack: But Du were-
Celestia: In another room with Lord Burlington, yes I know. So you're from the future, and can't get back there until Du kill this griffon named Gilda. Is that correct?
regenbogen Dash: Yeah.
Celestia: Then I will explain everything to Lord Burlington, and the both of us will help.
Rarity: Thank you.
Celestia: No problem.

Things seemed to be getting easier for Applejack, regenbogen Dash, and Rarity. But the fight was about to start soon.

Everypony at Celestia's schloss was ready for the fight, as the Griffons were getting close to attacking them.

Lord Burlington: Get the cannons ready!
Celestia: Get the cannons ready.
Kan Can: Get the cannons ready. *Getting kanone ready, but accidentally falls off of the castle*
Lord Burlington: Anymore clumsy ponies like him, and we'll never win.
regenbogen Dash: At least Du got us.
Lord Burlington: Yeah. What was it Du three sagte Du were going to do to win this war?
regenbogen Dash: Just.
Applejack: Be.
Rarity: Me.
Gilda: Load up the catapults!
Griffons: *Loading up catapults*
Archer: They're Wird geladen the catapults sir.
Lord Burlington: feuer the cannons!
Ponies: *Shooting cannons*
Griffons: They're firing cannons at us!
Gilda: Shoot those rocks at them.
Griffons: *Shooting rocks with catapults*

Some of the rocks were hitting some of the bombs shot Von cannons, and a few mid air explosions occurred.

Archer: With your permission, my archery team will take them down.
Lord Burlington: Archers, ready.
Archer, and other ponies carrying bow & arrows: *Readying bows*
Lord Burlington: Aim.
Archery Ponies: *Pulling back arrows*
Lord Burlington: Fire!
Archery Ponies: *Firing arrows at griffons*
regenbogen Dash: What about us?
Lord Burlington: Du three must put on armor, get a sword, and shield.
Rarity: Are we... *Gulp* Fighting them out there?
Lord Burlington: Yes Du are Miss. I Liebe mas*****ting to stallions I barely know. Get out there.
Applejack: Let's do this.

So the three ponies went to get what they needed.

Griffon 4: *Gets killed Von arrow*
Gilda: Use your shield Du careless saps!
Griffons: She's right. Use the shields.
Tomtom: You're a good leader.
Gilda: Yeah, I know.
McKing: Ma'am, we're getting Mehr casualties.
Gilda: How is this possible? We should be winning.
Tomtom: Maybe, because we're outnumbered.
McKing: Hey, you're right. Where's Mike?
Lucifer: I don't see him.

Mike was at their castle, modifying his toy tommy gun.

Mike: Yes. This is good. Now I'll Zeigen the others that I mean business with this. Look out everypony. *Grabs toy tommygun* I'm going to kill you.

Back at the battle.

regenbogen Dash: This is gonna be so awesome.
Rarity: Awesome? We're going to die.
Applejack: No we're not. We're going to win.
regenbogen Dash: Charge! *Charges towards Griffons*
applejack & Rarity: *Following regenbogen Dash*
Gilda: There they are.
McKing: Shoot them.
Griffons: *Shooting arrows at regenbogen Dash, Applejack, and Rarity* It's not working. Our arrows keep hitting their armor.
Porter: They're not even slowing down.
regenbogen Dash: *Raises sword* Yeah!!
Gilda: Oh god.
regenbogen Dash: *Stabs Porter's stomach*
Porter: *Feels sword hit stomach*
regenbogen Dash: Wait a minute.. *Gets sent flying backwards due to the impact on Porter's stomach*
Porter: I told Du it was a good thing to be fat.
Applejack: *Cuts Porter's head off with sword*
Gilda: Yeah. *Grabs sword* Du ready to "Square dance" redneck?
Applejack: *Swings sword at Gilda*
Rarity: *Kills two griffons* I can't believe I'm doing this. It's so unladylike.
Gilda: *Continues swordfight with Applejack*
Applejack: *Kicks griffon, then jumps up in air*
Gilda: *Swings sword*
Applejack: *Blocks attack*
McKing: Tomtom, help Gilda defeat that orange pony.
Tomtom: Yes sir.
regenbogen Dash: *Returns, and kills Tomtom* Did Du miss me?
Rarity: Yes.
Applejack: Practically. *Gets kicked Von Gilda*
regenbogen Dash: Hey! Nopony does that to my friend!
Gilda: What are Du going to do about it?
regenbogen Dash: Just be me.
Gilda: What?
regenbogen Dash: *Hits Gilda with sword*
Lord Burlington: *Watching fight* This is great. Does anypony have popcorn?
Celestia: What is that?
Lord Burlington: It's... Never mind.

The fight continued, and Gilda was getting beat Von regenbogen Dash.

McKing: Can anypony help Gilda?
Gilda: Why can't Du help me?
McKing: Because I have to give orders to the griffons killing those ponies.
Gilda: Well hurry up so that Du can help me!
regenbogen Dash: *Hits Gilda's wing*
Applejack: *Killing griffons*
Rarity: *Hiding under bridge* I shouldn't be fighting....
regenbogen Dash: *Continues fighting Gilda*
Gilda: *Blocking attacks*
McKing: Max, how many soldiers do we have left?
Max: Only twelve.
McKing: Then Abbrechen the attack on the castle. We must help Gilda.
Applejack: *Kills McKing*
Lucifer: Our boss is dead!
Max: But he wasn't our boss. It's Gilda.
Lucifer: Oh.

The sword fight was getting intense.

regenbogen Dash: *Blocking Gilda's attacks*
Applejack: Need any help RD?
regenbogen Dash: No, just keep those other griffons off my back.
Applejack: Du got it. *Kills griffons*
Rarity: *Continues hiding under a bridge*
Applejack: Rarity, where are you?!
Rarity: *Stay silent*
Applejack: I think they killed her. She'll have to stay here for the rest of her life.
Rarity: *Comes out from under bridge* I'm here, don't leave without me!
Applejack: We weren't.
Gilda: *Punches regenbogen Dash*
regenbogen Dash: *Has her helm fall off* That can't be good.
Gilda: *Punches regenbogen Dash again*
regenbogen Dash: Oh! *Her nose starts to bleed*
Rarity: Leave Dashie alone!!
Applejack: Don't worry about her. She's gonna die if we don't kill the other griffons.
Rarity: Then in that case, Hya! *Using karate moves to attack griffons*
Applejack: Couldn't have sagte it better myself.
regenbogen Dash: *Pushing her sword against Gilda's*
Gilda: When are Du going to give up?
regenbogen Dash: I don't know what that means so I'll never do it. *Draws back sword quickly, then hits Gilda's back legs*
Gilda: Ah! *Falls on ground*
Applejack: *Kills the last griffon* Now, we need to kill Gilda.
regenbogen Dash: With pleasure. *About to kill Gilda*
Gilda: *Closes her eyes*

Then, the sound of twenty bullets being shot from a tommygun could be heard.

Gilda: *Dies*
regenbogen Dash: *Looks at Mike*
Mike: *Carrying toy tommygun, and looks at Gilda* I told ya I was going to kill you.
regenbogen Dash: But this is 1745. Pistolen aren't supposed to exist yet.
Mike: But I killed Gilda.
Applejack: But, you're on the same side as her.
Mike: So? She didn't think this invention of mine would work.
Rarity; What are Du going to call it?
Mike: Hmm, I don't know. I think I'll call it Thomas.
regenbogen Dash: How about the Tommygun?
Mike: Hey, that's a brilliant idea.

Then all of a sudden, Rarity, regenbogen Dash, and applejack started to be lifted slowly up into the air, and then they dissapeared.

Carousel Botique, August 8, 2014.

Rarity: *Appears with regenbogen Dash, and Applejack*
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, where have Du three been?
Rarity: Playing with my friends.
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Applebloom, and Scootaloo went Home already, so would Du like to play with me?
Rarity: Of course darling.
regenbogen Dash: Well, I guess there's no sense in us staying here anymore.
Applejack: Nope. *Leaves Carousel Botique with regenbogen Dash*

The End

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