Seanthehedgehog Presents
A story that takes place in San Franciscolt.
Dirty Harry.
It was a wonderful, and sunny Tag when a pony with a sniper gewehr was looking at a mare swimming. The pony with the gewehr was named Scorpio, and he was an assassin. The mare swimming was at the oben, nach oben of a huge building, and Scorpio was going to do whatever he could to kill this mare. Why? Because he's evil.
With one shot, the mare was killed. Blood came out of her body, and into the swimming pool looking like red paint being washed off a brush.
Half an Stunde later, a pony was walking. This pony was known as Harry Calahan, but most ponies refer to him as, Dirty Harry. He was good at his job, which was being a detective. The way he does things make him loose cannon, which is how he likes it.
After walking up 20 flights of stairs, Harry got to where he was, the roof where the mare was killed. He examined the crime scene, and saw the bullet in the body. He took it out carefully, and put it in a plastic bag marked evidence. Then he walked back downstairs.
A few hours later
Police Captain: Take a sitz Harry
Harry: *sits down*
Police Captain: I'm going to breef Du on a pony that has been wanted for a while. They call him Scorpio, and he sent us a letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Police Captain: The letter says, I want $150,000. If I don't get it in a few days, Mehr ponies will die.
Harry: Only loser would do something like that.
Police Captain: Why the fuck do Du call every criminal a loser?
Harry: They're too poor to do anything good, so they cause crime.
Police Captain: Yep, sure. That's all I need Du for Harry, I'll call Du if I need anything else.
Harry: *walks out of office*
Half an Stunde later, Harry went to grab some lunch. There was place he always enjoyed going to called Dou Chebag's.
Harry: *enters restaurant*
Dou: Harry, how's it going?
Harry: Hello Mr. Chebag, how are you?
Dou: Wonderful. Would Du like your usual?
Harry: I think I'll surprise Du this time. Only chili today.
Dou: Du got it. *looks out window* A lot of polution out there, it's not good.
Harry: No it isn't. Why can't we have clean streets for once?
Dou: We live in a town of crime.
Harry: Yeah *sees bank* I need Du to make a call.
Dou: What for?
Harry: Tell the police that there's a bank robbery on 7th Avenue.
Dou: Ok, here's your hotdog.
Harry: Thanks. *eats hotdog* Now, just wait for the calvary to arrive.
But when Harry finished his hotdog, the alarm at the bank went off.
Harry: Oh damnit.
robbers: *exit bank*
Harry: *walks down straße with gun*
robbers: *pull out shotgun*
Harry: HALT!
robbers: *shoot gun*
Harry: *shoots shotgun carrying burglar*
burglars: *get in car*
Harry: *shoot driver*
driver: *crashes into firehydrant*
burglars: *get out*
Harry: *shoots both burglars*
civilians: *scream, and run*
Harry: *notices leg* They shot me
shotgun carrying burglar: *lays on ground*
Harry: *goes toward burglar*
burglar: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. Did he feuer six shots, oder only five? To tell Du the truth I Lost track myself after all this excitement. *shows gun* Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. Du gotta ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky?
Burglar: *silent*
Harry: Well do Du punk?
Burglar: *does nothing*
Harry: *takes shotgun*
Burglar: Hey. I got's to know.
Harry: *pulls trigger*
Nothing happened. And as Harry walked from the dying criminal, the police arrived.
The Weiter morning Scorpio was on oben, nach oben of another building with his sniper rifle. He was aiming it at some ponies, but didn't know who to shoot.
Meanwhile in the police station.
Harry: *walking to office*
filly: Hey. You're the one that stopped the bank robbery!
Harry: Yeah, I am.
Cop: Sorry, he's with me. When are Du going to cut your hair?
Harry: The same Tag Du get your's cut.
russian cop: Excellent work yesterday.
Harry: Thanks foreign cop of Equestria.
Henry: Duh, great job yesterday.
Harry: Thanks dumby.
Henry: Du could be nice for once.
Harry: I could, but I prefer not to.
Captain: Harry? In my office.
Henry: See? Be nice. *puts cup upside down* Now to pour in my coffee.
Captain: We heard that one of the robbers shot you.
Harry: Yeah, I'm past that, so?
Captain: We found Du a new partner.
Peter: *walks in*
Captain: This pony is your new partner.
Harry: Would've been nice if I chose someone Mehr reliable.
Peter: Is he always like this?
Captain: Yeah, he pretty much hates everyone. Ask him what he hates the most.
Peter: What do Du hate the most?
Harry: Mexicans.
And with that we return to the sniper. He found his target, and was getting ready to shoot when a helicopter was flying close to him.
Scorpio: *gets ready*
Pilot: Du with the gun. Yes you, lay on the ground.
Scorpio: *runs inside*
Hours later
Peter: Do Du always go on patrol in the night?
Harry: We're not on patrol, we have to go to where the assassin is.
Peter: Did they tell Du where?
Harry: It was at a house on Riverside drive. We're almost there
pedestrian: *gets in way*
Harry: *stops*
Peter: Jeez
Harry: Get the fuck outta the way asshole. *continues driving*
Peter: wow.
Harry: It's his fault.
When they got to the house they had their guns. Was the sniper really there though?
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.
Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: Du see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do Du think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, Du there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a Berichten of a pony trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria pyramid.
Harry: On our way. *drives*
90 Sekunden later, Harry arrived at the building.
Cops: *put spotlight on suicidal pony*
Harry: Let me up there.
Cops: Ok
Harry: *goes up lift*
suicidal pony: What are Du doing man?
Harry: Nothing, I just wanted to talk.
suicidal pony: About what?
Harry: What you're doing. Don't jump, it'll just make things worse.
suicidal pony: Why?
Harry: Well think about it. I had a friend who commited suicide over at St. Foalis. It was a terrible mess, he jumped from the gateway arch. There was a lot of blood, and some ponies vommited at the sight.
suicide pony: Du bastard *jumps*
Harry: *catches suicidal pony*
crowd: *watch*
Harry: *goes down lift*
Once he reached the bottom, Peter was there waiting for him.
Harry: Now Du know why they call me Dirty Harry.
Peter: Oh, I already knew.
Harry: Not you.
suicidal pony: Me?
Harry: Yeah.
The Weiter morning, Harry, and Peter went to a crime scene. Another pony was killed Von Scorpio during the suicide scene.
Harry: He attacked at a perfect time.
Peter: Yeah. Now what?
Harry: Now we find out about his Weiter move.
Captain: Listen up Du two. Scorpio sent us another letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Dear SFPD,
I am glad to tell Du that I no longer want $150,000. Instead I want to double it, and have $300,000. Come up with it if Du can pussies.
Scorpio
Harry: Well, he definetly likes to call us names.
Peter: Don't remind me.
Harry: I know what we'll do.
Weiter night, Harry, and his partner were waiting at the docks,
Peter: So we just wait for Scorpio to call us?
Harry: Pretty much. Everything Du hear from me, oder Scorpio will be coming from this *shows wire* You'll have to listen carefully, but if Du go through any tunnels, it'll be hard for Du to hear.
Peter: Understood.
The phone rang, and Harry went to it
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: Is this Harry?
Harry: Yeah, are Du Scorpio?
Scorpio: Yes. Now I'm going to have Du do a few things for me before I get the money. I don't want to see any other cops then you.
Harry: Sure thing. Where am I going?
Scorpio: First let me tell Du one this. I have a little filly trapped in the sewers. If Du screw up, I'll have her killed.
Harry: Ok, now where do Du want me to go?
Scorpio: Go to the blume Shop in heu, hay Ashbury.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *drives car*
Harry: *gets to blume shop*
The phone there rang, and Harry picked it up.
Scorpio: Good work. Now next, you'll go to the trolley station underground.
Harry: *goes to trolley station*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *gets to phone booth* I'm here.
Scorpio: Excellent. Now take the train that'll be arriving
engineer: *blows horn*
Scorpio: Now
engineer: *pulls into station*
Harry: *enters trolley*
Peter: I can't hear anything
engineer: *gets to Weiter station*
Harry: *walks to phone booth*
Scorpio: *calling station*
mustache pony: *picks up phone*
Harry: HEY! Get away from there *hits other pony*
Scorpio: Who was that?
Harry: A retard. Now what?
Scorpio: Now you're gonna go to the park.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *slowly follows*
Once Harry arrived at the park he saw another pony waiting Von a tower with a kreuz on the top.
Scorpio: Good, Du made it.
Harry: Now what am I doing?
Scorpio: Exactly as I say. Pull out your gun.
Harry: *shows gun*
Scorpio: My, that's a big pistol. Throw it on the ground.
Harry: *drops gun*
Scorpio: Now give me the money
Harry: *hands over bag*
Scorpio: Good work. *hits harry* Now, here's what's going to happen next. If Du want that filly to survive the sewer, Du let me leave town, without any cops following me. Do we understand each other? *hits Harry* Do we understand each other?
Peter: *slowly enters park*
Scorpio: Du know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna let her die!
Peter: NO! *shoots Scorpio*
Harry: Peter, get outta here!
Scorpio: *shoots Peter*
Harry: *grabs gun*
Scorpio: *escapes*
Harry: Hold on. I'm getting Du to a hospital
While Scorpio was walking toward a football stadium, and ambulance, and a cop car arrived where Harry was at.
Harry: Did Du call for the krankenwagen dumby?
Henry: Duh, Peter did.
Harry: Smart pony, unlike Du
Henry: *drives*
Harry: *gets in his car* Good thing I'm not with that guy *drives behind Henry*
At the football stadium.
Harry: *arrives at entrance*
Scorpio: *running down bleachers*
Harry: Stop!
Henry: *turns on lights*
Scorpio: Huh?
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Henry: *turns on other lights*
Scorpio: *lying on ground*
Harry: Where's the filly?
Scorpio: Du can't do this!! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!
Harry: Everypony says that.
Scorpio: It's true though! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!! I GOT RIGHTS TO LIVE!!!
The Weiter morning, near the sewer system on the Golden Neigh bridge, Harry was watching the medics take the filly out of the sewer. She was dead.
At the police station
Captain: Du shouldn't have shot him.
Harry: Why are Du saying that?
Captain: The man has rights to live.
Harry: Du really believe this guy?
Captain: We don't believe him, we know. It says here Scorpio has rights to live. We need to bring him in alive.
Harry: What for? We're talking about a Serial killer, murdering innocent ponies, and Du want him alive?
Captain: It's not my choice. It's the mayor's.
Scorpio: *walking through park* I know how to get outta here. But first, I gotta do something for the police. *continues walking* (I gotta make it look like Harry beat me up) *walks into house*
Black pony: Man what can I do for you?
Scorpio: I have $100, and it's all yours if Du beat me up.
Black pony: Beat Du up for money?
Scorpio: Every penny of it.
Black pony: *takes money* Your wish is my command *beats up Scorpio*
Scorpio: *bleeding, with skin coming off*
Black pony: Du sure about this?
Scorpio: Every penny's worth it. Du stupid worthless n***er.
Black pony: *continues beating up Scorpio* This one's on the house *kicks Scorpio through glass*
At the hospital, a pony on a bett was being rolled down a hallway. He was being filmed Von news reporters.
News: Can Du tell us who did this to you?
Scorpio: It was somepony working for the San Franciscolt Police Department. Some call him Dirty Harry, and he beat me up like this for no reason.
Captain: *turns off tv* Explain this to me.
Harry: I was nowhere near him.
Captain: Then how come he's saying Du beat him up?!
Harry: He's framing me.
Captain: If Du touch him once more, I'm gonna suspend Du of your work.
Harry: Yeah whatever *leaves police station*
Harry was at another hospital where his partner was at.
Peter: Thanks for coming to check on me Du guys.
Harry: No problem Pete.
Kayla: You're welcome handsome.
Peter: Tell the kids I'm going to be out in four days.
Kayla: Sure thing baby *kisses Peter*
Nurse: Ok Du two, your time is up.
Harry & Kayla: *walk down stairs*
Kayla: How do Du know Peter?
Harry: He's my partner in the police force.
Kayla: That's nice. How many crimes did Du solve together?
Harry: None. But he helped me prevent a pony from killing himself.
Kayla: Wow.
Harry: I went up to where he was about to jump, and when he did jump I caught him.
Kayla: Why did he jump with Du up there?
Harry: I forced him to. Do Du enjoy being married to a cop?
Kayla: Why? What's your wife like?
Harry: She died three years ago.
Kayla: Oh, that's so sad.
Harry: Yeah. Peter's a good pony I don't want the same stuff happening to him.
That night, in a gunshop.
Scorpio: Hello.
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Scorpio: I'm great. Listen, I need a gun, any gun.
Cashier: Well I have a Walther from WW2.
Scorpio: Let me see it.
Cashier: *shows gun
Scorpio: Ok *K.O's cashier*
After knocking out the cashier, Scorpio stahl, stola ammo for the gun he had, and took Mehr money. He was now going to make his escape.
It was another bright morning in San Franciscolt. A group of happy colts, and fillies were getting ready to go to school on the bus, when the bus driver stopped at the bus stop. Then that's when Scorpio arrived.
Bus driver: Come on in children.
Scorpio: And stallion! Ok, take me to a phone booth.
Bus Driver: I can't sir. I gotta take these kids to school
Scorpio: Either Du do as I say, oder I get my gun to have Du fired.
Bus Driver: Fuck. *drives*
Scorpio: Hey kids, I'm going along with you. Who wants to sing a song? Old Mcdonald had a farm
kids: EIEIO.
Scorpio: And on his farm he had a duck.
kids: EIEIO
At the SFPD Headquarters... Again.
Harry: *parks car*
Russian cop: The captain wants Du in his office now.
Harry: Great. *walks to captain's office*
Captain: Oh good, you're hear. I have Scorpio on the phone.
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: Du listen well Du sonovaprick. I'm on my way to the airport. I have a busload of colts, and fillies. If any cop tries to interfere. They all die.
Bus driver: I wanna say something.
Scorpio: Sure
Bus Driver: It wasn't my fault, he came in with a gun-
Scorpio: Shut up. Now we gotta go *hangs up*
Harry: Well what do we do?
Captain: Nothing.
Harry: Du mean you're going to let that guy kidnap several little ponies?
Captain: We have to, and if Du interfere with him, you're fired!
Harry: Fine. Just gonna go do my patrol
On the Golden Neigh Bridge
Bus Driver: *driving*
Scorpio: Row row row your boat, gently down the stream
kids: Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
Bus Driver: (If only they knew what was happening.)
fat colt: Excuse me sir. Can Du tell us where you're going?
Scorpio: The airport. Now keep singing! Row row row your boat-
fat colt: Why are we going there?
Scorpio: Quit asking me questions! *hits colt* Now sing! row row row your boot gently down the stream!!
fat colt: I wanna go home.
Scorpio: Be Quiet!! Row row row your boot gently down the stream!! And turn right there.
bus driver: *prepares to turn right*
Scorpio: NOT HERE!! The Weiter one
bus driver: *takes Weiter turn*
Harry: *standing on bridge*
Scorpio: How did he get there?
Harry: *waiting*
bus driver: *slows down*
Scorpio: Come on Du stupid green Fillys, Bewegen faster.
Harry: *jumps on bus*
Scorpio: AAHHH! After I told him NO COPS!!!! *takes over bus*
Kids: *scream*
Scorpio: *hits car*
driving pony: *honks horn*
Scorpio: *pushes car off road*
Harry: *hanging on*
Scorpio: Get over here, and drive!! *grabs gun*
filly: It's a gun!! aAH!!
Scorpio: *shoots through ceiling*
Harry: *dodges bullets*
kids: *screaming*
bus driver: *spins out through gate*
Scorpio: Du idiot!
bus driver: *hits pile of gravel*
Harry: *flies into gravel*
Scorpio: *runs out of bus*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *runs into building*
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Scorpio: *dodges bullet, then jumps on conveyor belt*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *takes cover*
Harry: *shoots again*
Scorpio: *returns fire, then runs*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *pushes worker*
Worker: Hey, watch where you're going bitch!
Harry: *follows*
They soon got to a lake, where a little fohlen, colt was fishing
Scorpio: *kidnaps colt*
Harry: *stops*
Scorpio: Drop that gun, oder the fohlen, colt dies
Harry: *does nothing*
Scorpio: I'm not bluffing Du peice of hell! Drop the gun!!
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Colt: *runs*
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking punk. Did he feuer six shots oder only five? To tell Du the truth I Lost track myself after all this excitement. Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. Du gotta ask yourself a question. Do I Feel Lucky?
Scorpio: *lays on ground*
Harry: Well do Du punk?!
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: *kills Scorpio*
Scorpio: *falls into lake*
Harry knew he was going to get fired, so he took his police badge, and threw it far away on the other side of the lake. Then, he walked. Away from the criminal he just killed, but possibly into another story.
The End
A story that takes place in San Franciscolt.
Dirty Harry.
It was a wonderful, and sunny Tag when a pony with a sniper gewehr was looking at a mare swimming. The pony with the gewehr was named Scorpio, and he was an assassin. The mare swimming was at the oben, nach oben of a huge building, and Scorpio was going to do whatever he could to kill this mare. Why? Because he's evil.
With one shot, the mare was killed. Blood came out of her body, and into the swimming pool looking like red paint being washed off a brush.
Half an Stunde later, a pony was walking. This pony was known as Harry Calahan, but most ponies refer to him as, Dirty Harry. He was good at his job, which was being a detective. The way he does things make him loose cannon, which is how he likes it.
After walking up 20 flights of stairs, Harry got to where he was, the roof where the mare was killed. He examined the crime scene, and saw the bullet in the body. He took it out carefully, and put it in a plastic bag marked evidence. Then he walked back downstairs.
A few hours later
Police Captain: Take a sitz Harry
Harry: *sits down*
Police Captain: I'm going to breef Du on a pony that has been wanted for a while. They call him Scorpio, and he sent us a letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Police Captain: The letter says, I want $150,000. If I don't get it in a few days, Mehr ponies will die.
Harry: Only loser would do something like that.
Police Captain: Why the fuck do Du call every criminal a loser?
Harry: They're too poor to do anything good, so they cause crime.
Police Captain: Yep, sure. That's all I need Du for Harry, I'll call Du if I need anything else.
Harry: *walks out of office*
Half an Stunde later, Harry went to grab some lunch. There was place he always enjoyed going to called Dou Chebag's.
Harry: *enters restaurant*
Dou: Harry, how's it going?
Harry: Hello Mr. Chebag, how are you?
Dou: Wonderful. Would Du like your usual?
Harry: I think I'll surprise Du this time. Only chili today.
Dou: Du got it. *looks out window* A lot of polution out there, it's not good.
Harry: No it isn't. Why can't we have clean streets for once?
Dou: We live in a town of crime.
Harry: Yeah *sees bank* I need Du to make a call.
Dou: What for?
Harry: Tell the police that there's a bank robbery on 7th Avenue.
Dou: Ok, here's your hotdog.
Harry: Thanks. *eats hotdog* Now, just wait for the calvary to arrive.
But when Harry finished his hotdog, the alarm at the bank went off.
Harry: Oh damnit.
robbers: *exit bank*
Harry: *walks down straße with gun*
robbers: *pull out shotgun*
Harry: HALT!
robbers: *shoot gun*
Harry: *shoots shotgun carrying burglar*
burglars: *get in car*
Harry: *shoot driver*
driver: *crashes into firehydrant*
burglars: *get out*
Harry: *shoots both burglars*
civilians: *scream, and run*
Harry: *notices leg* They shot me
shotgun carrying burglar: *lays on ground*
Harry: *goes toward burglar*
burglar: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. Did he feuer six shots, oder only five? To tell Du the truth I Lost track myself after all this excitement. *shows gun* Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. Du gotta ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky?
Burglar: *silent*
Harry: Well do Du punk?
Burglar: *does nothing*
Harry: *takes shotgun*
Burglar: Hey. I got's to know.
Harry: *pulls trigger*
Nothing happened. And as Harry walked from the dying criminal, the police arrived.
The Weiter morning Scorpio was on oben, nach oben of another building with his sniper rifle. He was aiming it at some ponies, but didn't know who to shoot.
Meanwhile in the police station.
Harry: *walking to office*
filly: Hey. You're the one that stopped the bank robbery!
Harry: Yeah, I am.
Cop: Sorry, he's with me. When are Du going to cut your hair?
Harry: The same Tag Du get your's cut.
russian cop: Excellent work yesterday.
Harry: Thanks foreign cop of Equestria.
Henry: Duh, great job yesterday.
Harry: Thanks dumby.
Henry: Du could be nice for once.
Harry: I could, but I prefer not to.
Captain: Harry? In my office.
Henry: See? Be nice. *puts cup upside down* Now to pour in my coffee.
Captain: We heard that one of the robbers shot you.
Harry: Yeah, I'm past that, so?
Captain: We found Du a new partner.
Peter: *walks in*
Captain: This pony is your new partner.
Harry: Would've been nice if I chose someone Mehr reliable.
Peter: Is he always like this?
Captain: Yeah, he pretty much hates everyone. Ask him what he hates the most.
Peter: What do Du hate the most?
Harry: Mexicans.
And with that we return to the sniper. He found his target, and was getting ready to shoot when a helicopter was flying close to him.
Scorpio: *gets ready*
Pilot: Du with the gun. Yes you, lay on the ground.
Scorpio: *runs inside*
Hours later
Peter: Do Du always go on patrol in the night?
Harry: We're not on patrol, we have to go to where the assassin is.
Peter: Did they tell Du where?
Harry: It was at a house on Riverside drive. We're almost there
pedestrian: *gets in way*
Harry: *stops*
Peter: Jeez
Harry: Get the fuck outta the way asshole. *continues driving*
Peter: wow.
Harry: It's his fault.
When they got to the house they had their guns. Was the sniper really there though?
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.
Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: Du see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do Du think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, Du there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a Berichten of a pony trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria pyramid.
Harry: On our way. *drives*
90 Sekunden later, Harry arrived at the building.
Cops: *put spotlight on suicidal pony*
Harry: Let me up there.
Cops: Ok
Harry: *goes up lift*
suicidal pony: What are Du doing man?
Harry: Nothing, I just wanted to talk.
suicidal pony: About what?
Harry: What you're doing. Don't jump, it'll just make things worse.
suicidal pony: Why?
Harry: Well think about it. I had a friend who commited suicide over at St. Foalis. It was a terrible mess, he jumped from the gateway arch. There was a lot of blood, and some ponies vommited at the sight.
suicide pony: Du bastard *jumps*
Harry: *catches suicidal pony*
crowd: *watch*
Harry: *goes down lift*
Once he reached the bottom, Peter was there waiting for him.
Harry: Now Du know why they call me Dirty Harry.
Peter: Oh, I already knew.
Harry: Not you.
suicidal pony: Me?
Harry: Yeah.
The Weiter morning, Harry, and Peter went to a crime scene. Another pony was killed Von Scorpio during the suicide scene.
Harry: He attacked at a perfect time.
Peter: Yeah. Now what?
Harry: Now we find out about his Weiter move.
Captain: Listen up Du two. Scorpio sent us another letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Dear SFPD,
I am glad to tell Du that I no longer want $150,000. Instead I want to double it, and have $300,000. Come up with it if Du can pussies.
Scorpio
Harry: Well, he definetly likes to call us names.
Peter: Don't remind me.
Harry: I know what we'll do.
Weiter night, Harry, and his partner were waiting at the docks,
Peter: So we just wait for Scorpio to call us?
Harry: Pretty much. Everything Du hear from me, oder Scorpio will be coming from this *shows wire* You'll have to listen carefully, but if Du go through any tunnels, it'll be hard for Du to hear.
Peter: Understood.
The phone rang, and Harry went to it
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: Is this Harry?
Harry: Yeah, are Du Scorpio?
Scorpio: Yes. Now I'm going to have Du do a few things for me before I get the money. I don't want to see any other cops then you.
Harry: Sure thing. Where am I going?
Scorpio: First let me tell Du one this. I have a little filly trapped in the sewers. If Du screw up, I'll have her killed.
Harry: Ok, now where do Du want me to go?
Scorpio: Go to the blume Shop in heu, hay Ashbury.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *drives car*
Harry: *gets to blume shop*
The phone there rang, and Harry picked it up.
Scorpio: Good work. Now next, you'll go to the trolley station underground.
Harry: *goes to trolley station*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *gets to phone booth* I'm here.
Scorpio: Excellent. Now take the train that'll be arriving
engineer: *blows horn*
Scorpio: Now
engineer: *pulls into station*
Harry: *enters trolley*
Peter: I can't hear anything
engineer: *gets to Weiter station*
Harry: *walks to phone booth*
Scorpio: *calling station*
mustache pony: *picks up phone*
Harry: HEY! Get away from there *hits other pony*
Scorpio: Who was that?
Harry: A retard. Now what?
Scorpio: Now you're gonna go to the park.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *slowly follows*
Once Harry arrived at the park he saw another pony waiting Von a tower with a kreuz on the top.
Scorpio: Good, Du made it.
Harry: Now what am I doing?
Scorpio: Exactly as I say. Pull out your gun.
Harry: *shows gun*
Scorpio: My, that's a big pistol. Throw it on the ground.
Harry: *drops gun*
Scorpio: Now give me the money
Harry: *hands over bag*
Scorpio: Good work. *hits harry* Now, here's what's going to happen next. If Du want that filly to survive the sewer, Du let me leave town, without any cops following me. Do we understand each other? *hits Harry* Do we understand each other?
Peter: *slowly enters park*
Scorpio: Du know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna let her die!
Peter: NO! *shoots Scorpio*
Harry: Peter, get outta here!
Scorpio: *shoots Peter*
Harry: *grabs gun*
Scorpio: *escapes*
Harry: Hold on. I'm getting Du to a hospital
While Scorpio was walking toward a football stadium, and ambulance, and a cop car arrived where Harry was at.
Harry: Did Du call for the krankenwagen dumby?
Henry: Duh, Peter did.
Harry: Smart pony, unlike Du
Henry: *drives*
Harry: *gets in his car* Good thing I'm not with that guy *drives behind Henry*
At the football stadium.
Harry: *arrives at entrance*
Scorpio: *running down bleachers*
Harry: Stop!
Henry: *turns on lights*
Scorpio: Huh?
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Henry: *turns on other lights*
Scorpio: *lying on ground*
Harry: Where's the filly?
Scorpio: Du can't do this!! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!
Harry: Everypony says that.
Scorpio: It's true though! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!! I GOT RIGHTS TO LIVE!!!
The Weiter morning, near the sewer system on the Golden Neigh bridge, Harry was watching the medics take the filly out of the sewer. She was dead.
At the police station
Captain: Du shouldn't have shot him.
Harry: Why are Du saying that?
Captain: The man has rights to live.
Harry: Du really believe this guy?
Captain: We don't believe him, we know. It says here Scorpio has rights to live. We need to bring him in alive.
Harry: What for? We're talking about a Serial killer, murdering innocent ponies, and Du want him alive?
Captain: It's not my choice. It's the mayor's.
Scorpio: *walking through park* I know how to get outta here. But first, I gotta do something for the police. *continues walking* (I gotta make it look like Harry beat me up) *walks into house*
Black pony: Man what can I do for you?
Scorpio: I have $100, and it's all yours if Du beat me up.
Black pony: Beat Du up for money?
Scorpio: Every penny of it.
Black pony: *takes money* Your wish is my command *beats up Scorpio*
Scorpio: *bleeding, with skin coming off*
Black pony: Du sure about this?
Scorpio: Every penny's worth it. Du stupid worthless n***er.
Black pony: *continues beating up Scorpio* This one's on the house *kicks Scorpio through glass*
At the hospital, a pony on a bett was being rolled down a hallway. He was being filmed Von news reporters.
News: Can Du tell us who did this to you?
Scorpio: It was somepony working for the San Franciscolt Police Department. Some call him Dirty Harry, and he beat me up like this for no reason.
Captain: *turns off tv* Explain this to me.
Harry: I was nowhere near him.
Captain: Then how come he's saying Du beat him up?!
Harry: He's framing me.
Captain: If Du touch him once more, I'm gonna suspend Du of your work.
Harry: Yeah whatever *leaves police station*
Harry was at another hospital where his partner was at.
Peter: Thanks for coming to check on me Du guys.
Harry: No problem Pete.
Kayla: You're welcome handsome.
Peter: Tell the kids I'm going to be out in four days.
Kayla: Sure thing baby *kisses Peter*
Nurse: Ok Du two, your time is up.
Harry & Kayla: *walk down stairs*
Kayla: How do Du know Peter?
Harry: He's my partner in the police force.
Kayla: That's nice. How many crimes did Du solve together?
Harry: None. But he helped me prevent a pony from killing himself.
Kayla: Wow.
Harry: I went up to where he was about to jump, and when he did jump I caught him.
Kayla: Why did he jump with Du up there?
Harry: I forced him to. Do Du enjoy being married to a cop?
Kayla: Why? What's your wife like?
Harry: She died three years ago.
Kayla: Oh, that's so sad.
Harry: Yeah. Peter's a good pony I don't want the same stuff happening to him.
That night, in a gunshop.
Scorpio: Hello.
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Scorpio: I'm great. Listen, I need a gun, any gun.
Cashier: Well I have a Walther from WW2.
Scorpio: Let me see it.
Cashier: *shows gun
Scorpio: Ok *K.O's cashier*
After knocking out the cashier, Scorpio stahl, stola ammo for the gun he had, and took Mehr money. He was now going to make his escape.
It was another bright morning in San Franciscolt. A group of happy colts, and fillies were getting ready to go to school on the bus, when the bus driver stopped at the bus stop. Then that's when Scorpio arrived.
Bus driver: Come on in children.
Scorpio: And stallion! Ok, take me to a phone booth.
Bus Driver: I can't sir. I gotta take these kids to school
Scorpio: Either Du do as I say, oder I get my gun to have Du fired.
Bus Driver: Fuck. *drives*
Scorpio: Hey kids, I'm going along with you. Who wants to sing a song? Old Mcdonald had a farm
kids: EIEIO.
Scorpio: And on his farm he had a duck.
kids: EIEIO
At the SFPD Headquarters... Again.
Harry: *parks car*
Russian cop: The captain wants Du in his office now.
Harry: Great. *walks to captain's office*
Captain: Oh good, you're hear. I have Scorpio on the phone.
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: Du listen well Du sonovaprick. I'm on my way to the airport. I have a busload of colts, and fillies. If any cop tries to interfere. They all die.
Bus driver: I wanna say something.
Scorpio: Sure
Bus Driver: It wasn't my fault, he came in with a gun-
Scorpio: Shut up. Now we gotta go *hangs up*
Harry: Well what do we do?
Captain: Nothing.
Harry: Du mean you're going to let that guy kidnap several little ponies?
Captain: We have to, and if Du interfere with him, you're fired!
Harry: Fine. Just gonna go do my patrol
On the Golden Neigh Bridge
Bus Driver: *driving*
Scorpio: Row row row your boat, gently down the stream
kids: Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
Bus Driver: (If only they knew what was happening.)
fat colt: Excuse me sir. Can Du tell us where you're going?
Scorpio: The airport. Now keep singing! Row row row your boat-
fat colt: Why are we going there?
Scorpio: Quit asking me questions! *hits colt* Now sing! row row row your boot gently down the stream!!
fat colt: I wanna go home.
Scorpio: Be Quiet!! Row row row your boot gently down the stream!! And turn right there.
bus driver: *prepares to turn right*
Scorpio: NOT HERE!! The Weiter one
bus driver: *takes Weiter turn*
Harry: *standing on bridge*
Scorpio: How did he get there?
Harry: *waiting*
bus driver: *slows down*
Scorpio: Come on Du stupid green Fillys, Bewegen faster.
Harry: *jumps on bus*
Scorpio: AAHHH! After I told him NO COPS!!!! *takes over bus*
Kids: *scream*
Scorpio: *hits car*
driving pony: *honks horn*
Scorpio: *pushes car off road*
Harry: *hanging on*
Scorpio: Get over here, and drive!! *grabs gun*
filly: It's a gun!! aAH!!
Scorpio: *shoots through ceiling*
Harry: *dodges bullets*
kids: *screaming*
bus driver: *spins out through gate*
Scorpio: Du idiot!
bus driver: *hits pile of gravel*
Harry: *flies into gravel*
Scorpio: *runs out of bus*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *runs into building*
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Scorpio: *dodges bullet, then jumps on conveyor belt*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *takes cover*
Harry: *shoots again*
Scorpio: *returns fire, then runs*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *pushes worker*
Worker: Hey, watch where you're going bitch!
Harry: *follows*
They soon got to a lake, where a little fohlen, colt was fishing
Scorpio: *kidnaps colt*
Harry: *stops*
Scorpio: Drop that gun, oder the fohlen, colt dies
Harry: *does nothing*
Scorpio: I'm not bluffing Du peice of hell! Drop the gun!!
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Colt: *runs*
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking punk. Did he feuer six shots oder only five? To tell Du the truth I Lost track myself after all this excitement. Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. Du gotta ask yourself a question. Do I Feel Lucky?
Scorpio: *lays on ground*
Harry: Well do Du punk?!
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: *kills Scorpio*
Scorpio: *falls into lake*
Harry knew he was going to get fired, so he took his police badge, and threw it far away on the other side of the lake. Then, he walked. Away from the criminal he just killed, but possibly into another story.
The End
Two fanfictions that I wrote starring Applejack. The first one is Wings
link
applejack gets a lot of work, and some ponies annoy her. One of them is Derpy, but AJ gets a chance to make fun of Derpy.
Applejack's Double Life
link
With a beautiful theme song, and several gunfights, what's not to love? Mitmachen Applejack, and her cousin Braeburn as they fight the Film Flam brothers for Braeburn's orchard in this wild west style fanfiction.
Enjoy these fanfictions, and make sure to read Mehr fanfictions Von me, Seanthehedgehog. The leader in fanfictions.
link
applejack gets a lot of work, and some ponies annoy her. One of them is Derpy, but AJ gets a chance to make fun of Derpy.
Applejack's Double Life
link
With a beautiful theme song, and several gunfights, what's not to love? Mitmachen Applejack, and her cousin Braeburn as they fight the Film Flam brothers for Braeburn's orchard in this wild west style fanfiction.
Enjoy these fanfictions, and make sure to read Mehr fanfictions Von me, Seanthehedgehog. The leader in fanfictions.
