Critical Analysis of Twilight Article: Twilight... The Right Way

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posted by xxXsk8trXxx

This Artikel may be offencive to a lot of Twihards. Viewer disgrettion is advised

Edward: Bella,I'm dangerous, stay away.
Bella: But Edward, I Liebe you!
Edward: Me too, but I'm dangerous, so Du have to stay away from me
Bella: But Edward, you're the Liebe of my life! We have to be together!
Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt*
Bella: Wait a second, Du sparkle?
Edward: Isn't it frightening?
Bella: No. Sorry to break it to ya Edward, but it's gay
Edward: I kissed Emmet one time...
Bella: How old are you?
Edward: 100
Bella: Eeew! Aren't there laws about 100 Jahr olds and 17 Jahr olds being together?
Edward: Who cares about thoes laws, I Liebe Du and Du and Du Liebe me...
Bella: Correction. I hate you. Your skin sparkles and you're gay. Not to mention your age.
Edward: But Bella...
Bella: *leaves*
Edward: I knew I should've taken Jessica!

Bella: *at Jacob's* Hey, Jake!
Jacob: Hi!
Bella: So wassup?
Jacob: You're pretty
Bella: Excuse me?
Jacob: *trys to touch boobs*
Bella: *pulls hand away* Jacob!
Jacob: You're pretty
Bella: Okay, that's enough! You're not getting any of me! *leaves*
Jacob: ... she's pretty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE Weiter DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bella: *at mayors* MAYOR! MAYOR!
Mayor: What is it?
Bella: SO THERE'S Vampire AND WEARWOLVES! I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!! *shows evidence*
Mayor: HOLY COW! LET'S GET EM!!!!!

*at Cullens house*
Mayor: We're banning Du from the town.
Carslile: But...
Mayor: Bewegen SOMEWHERE ELSE! YOUR HOUSE AND ALL OF YOUR THINGS ARE ON SALE, VAMPIRES! YOU'RE NOT EVEN VAMPIRES! Du SPARKLE!
Bella: Yeah!
Edward: Bella, how could you?
Bella: Du liyng bitch!

*at Quillitete tribe bonfire place*
Mayor: Bewegen YOUR TRIBE SOMEWHERE ELSE, WOLVES!
Sam: Who did this?
Bella: Me, dog.
Sam: Grr....
Jacob: ... She's pretty
Sam: LETS GET HIM!!!!
Mayor: WHO'S THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN? Bewegen NOW!

The quillitetes and the cullens moved away. Bella found a nice well-rounded guy with black hair and blue eyes named Marcus, whom she married. Edward became gay, and Jacob just couldn't stop thinking about Bella. He tried to stalk her, and now is imprisoned for life.

and that's my version of Twilight!

AlmostGenius, Kassaremidylynn and 17 others like this

TDI_Angel LOL thats hilarious! XD

bendaimmortal "Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt* Bella: Wait a second, you sparkle? Edward: Isn't it frightening?" xDD I think I'm gonna live a good 50 years longer for that. (As laughins's supposed to prolong life.) "Sam: Who did this? Bella: Me, dog. Sam: Grr.... " That was great too. :'D Ah but all in all, this is goooood. The only thing I found a tad too old is the whole gay theme. I've never been big on gay humour (nor gay fiction) anyway but by now it's also really is getting old. I am not a homophobi at all, in any way, and that's exactly why I feel this way. But don't get me wrong - I honestly really do enjoy this. 4 stars. (:

Frizzhead Lol so funny but i tink the obbsessive people wont like being called twihards

XChatterbox14x hehe thats funny - " you're not even vampires you sparkle!" so true - though im a twilight fan

kayleebabee HAA! i am going to live for ages it was am hour ago that i actually started to write this...

spellpatronus ROFL!

6

The Twilight Saga: The Plot Holes That Never Were

posted by cassie-1-2-3

I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but Mehr often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would Vampire go to high school?”, oder “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, oder can be logically theorized. These are usually followed Von “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, oder “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, oder my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...

29

Hitler Was Not Dazzled Von Breaking Dawn

added by sylar_rocks

Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if Du don't mind the lulz.

video

twilight

funny

parody

hitler

Bis(s) zum Ende der Nacht

Stephenie Meyer

dazzling

criticism

6

The Real Reason Bella "Couldn't" Get Over Edward

posted by nuxi

aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to Bearbeiten it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish oder discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...

16

pic

added by Disaster

5

Edward Body kissen

added by nuxi

Source: etsy

37

12 Ways to Annoy Crazed Obsessive Twilight Fangirls

posted by sapherequeen

*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete Werwölfe have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...

8

10 Reasons No Sane Person Would datum Edward Cullen (watch Supernatural instead)

added by samjhart

video

twilight

Edward Cullen

funny

criticism

critical analysis

Bella Swan

Stephenie Meyer

Vampire

13

Why we Antis Liebe our Pro spot members

posted by Mermaid-Tail

I think this spot and the majority of it's members have worked to ensure that when we talk about things we dislike about the series it's things we feel strongly about oder have an actual point to make, not just mindless hating and that when we poke fun we try to keep an eye on the line between fun mockery and plain rudeness, even though that line can be debatable oder hard to see. Still, there are some cases when I can see Fans feeling left out, singled out oder wanting out completely, and I don't like that. Part of the problem is something us antis can't really help with, which is that not many...

14

Dexter morgan meets Bella and Edward

added by Cinders

Source: RadRad @ Fanpop

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Bella schwan as a heroine should be illegal

posted by bendaimmortal

I'm just sayin' Bella is one of the worst role Models ever when it comes to love, sex and life choices and should not have allowed to be published in any shape oder form. I mean, when she's made the heroine of the story and marketted at teenage girls.

1. She's obsessively in Liebe with a control freak stalker.

Unfortunately it seems the vast majority of the Twilight fangirls are too with the very same freak.

2. She wants him so bad that she'll abandone everyone else she loves so that she could be with him. Even when it means she'll practically have to become a blood-drinking corpse.

(The movie 'Eclipse'...

13

Twilight Vs. Harry Potter: A Breakdown

posted by shieldmaiden

Credit: Very Demotivational

I felt a compelling need to write this Artikel because recently I have found myself Mehr constantly thrust into situations and debates where I have to defend the Harry Potter fandom against the Twilight fandom, which I despise so much. My best friend and her family are actually major pro-Twilight fans. This past evening made me realize that there are so many reasons why Harry Potter is much Mehr awesome than Twilight, and its not just the obvious ones either. Thus, I give Du all the evidence Du will ever need to successfully pwn a Twilight Fan trying to bring your fandom down.

Obvious Reasons...

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Are the accusations of Meyer 'stealing' plot ideas fair?

posted by Mermaid-Tail

OMG she totally stahl, stola that apfel, apple from Adam and Eve!!!

OMG she totally stole that apple from Adam and Eve!!!

The people on this spot who know me will be aware I'm an anti, but I think a part of using this spot fairly means me not only talking when I have something against Twilight, but also fessing up when I don't think Meyer/the books/actros/etc are in the wrong. I've heard a lot about how many of Meyer's plot points are too similar to those in other vampire/fantasy stories. Well, that's never the way it's put. It's usually closer to "she totally ripped off _____. That's a stolen idea!" and I wanted to talk about why I actually disagree with most of those accusations. I say 'most of' and not 'all...

9

Rob Antwort the Frage 'Who is better for Bella?'

added by katiecain

1:57-2:44 Have I sagte how much I Liebe this man?

video

interview

New Moon – Bis(s) zur Mittagsstunde

Robert Pattinson

Jacob Black

Edward Cullen

Bella Swan

Jacob und Bella

Edward und Bella

5

Twilight VS. Vampire

added by bendaimmortal

Source: Von BratPrinceFan at DeviantArt

5

Various Twilight stuff

added by Mallory23

Source: http://www.forksforum.com/twilight

2

Vampire don't...

posted by Dragonsphere

Twilight vamps&other people;

Don't have fangs,
sparke in sunshine,
live on animal blood and call themselves veggies,
don't have a lumpy face,
live in really rich mansions(?),
don't have souls but are completely lame like rehabilitated drug-users(that never took drugs),
Can't be staked
Are looked (from the fangirls view)upon as superior beings that don't hurt anyone and call themselves dangerous
Stalk young girls only to seem romantic
Fall inlove with small children and beg to be their lover while they are like 16(just 12)
Don't belong in sassy teenage crap that is pure drama

They arenot vampires...

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Too furious for words... *Sorry, this is just a Zufällig rant*

posted by sapherequeen

Ok, so I visited a fanclub not too long Vor and I noticed this one Frage I asked; "If Bella killed Renesmee, would Edward forgive her?" oder something like that.

I looked at the comments, and at first they were fine. But then as they progressed to the Mehr Kürzlich ones, I had one girl saying what a stupid Frage to ask, and some other crackhead telling me to go f**k myself.

Being my highly emotional self, I was irked to no end and I responded to these comments.

I'm trying to find a way to just Löschen this question, because I gepostet it a Jahr Vor and don't even recall the reasons why it was...

21

What's so great about Robert Pattinson!?

posted by AliceHaleCullen

Right ok, so there's all this hype surrounding Rob Mehr so than any of the other cast from Twilight. But why?

It's not because he's the hottest. Because, well he just isn't. He was voted 'sexiest man alive' in numerous magazines such as heat and glamour. My personal favourite from the Twilight film is Peter Facinelli. I met him in July and he is the most geniune actor I have heard of. He has time for his fans, something which Rob doesn't.

Then again Rob does gets chased Von crazed Fan girls, so yeah valid excuse. But say if Peter played Edward, everyone would be all over him just because of the...

25

An Artikel from a Twilight Fan

posted by laureng114

First off, I would like to say that I have absolutely no problem with the C.A.T. spot and have just joined myself. If anything, I think that this spot is a good idea and is definitely NOT an anti-spot. The point of this Artikel is to explain the point of view of a Twilight Fan that does not just like the series because Edward Cullen is SO HOTTT <333, Vampire are AwEsOmE, etc. etc.

Let me start off Von saying that I am SICK of uneducated Twilight Fans making the rest of us look like a bunch of air-heads. Von uneducated I mean Fans that scream their heads off whenever they see a picture of Robert...

2

From books-to-movies...

posted by Imyselfandme

Many people bash beliebt Filme because "It didn't measure up in the exact way they thought it would.

STOP PEOPLE!!! Stop your too Critical Analysis sometimes.Stop your phony rebukes.Just STOP!!!

And accept Filme the way they come.

As a one time Autor of a book called Elfin Magic (become a Fan of it:link)

I think i can speak for all(or at least most)authors when I say It's FINE!!! If someone offers Du a direct line to the Filme and the Autor refuses because the director says some plans that differentiate from the book and someone refuses then they are just stupid!!!

Miner changes and summarizing...