Episode 1;
Roman: (meets Niko at the boot stop).
Niko: (stressed) What took Du so long!
Roman: Sorry.. I was at a party.. But anyway.. (singing) Welcome, home, Cousin. Du know that, I missed ye-
Niko: [Off-Screen] NO! [On-Screen] NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR Du SING!
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Roman is driving them too the apartment, though he's driving very slowly, much to Niko's anger.
Roman: Do Du think Mallorie's mad at me?
Niko: Because you're in the right lane behind a bus and Du won't go around it? (sarcastically) No, I'm sure she finds it charming.
Roman: No, because I didn't invite her to come Du with me.
Niko: I'm starting to think she dodged a bullet.. The slowest bullet in the world!.
Roman: Calm down Niko.. I thought Du had your anger issues under control?
Niko: What are Du talking about. I don't have anger issu- (suddenly enraged) OH MY GOD ROMAN! Du DID "NOT" HAVE TO SLOW DOWN FOR A BIRD!.. Du KNOW THEY FLY RIGHT!?
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THEME SONG;
link
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MEANWHILE:
Billy: Okay Johnny.. I'll ride up in your bike.
Johnny: I- I don't know man.. Du a bit of a dick to me.
Billy: Johnny boy. I have "never" been a dick to you.
Johnny: [rolls his eyes] Oh please! All Du EVER do is call me names and rip on me for being Jewish!
Billy: Johnny, when have I "ever" ripped on Du for being a Jew?
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[in the playground when first meeting each other] You're a Jew!
{while they argue} Oh yeah! Well your just a stupid Jew!
[Riding on their bikes} SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN JEW MOUTH!
[at the club house, on the front steps] {angry at Johnny} Good job, Jew!
[leaving his sitz in the club house] Shut up, Jew!
[angry at Johnny for no explained reason] You're JEWISH!
[seated on a curb with the other boys] Dude, he's Jewish!
[staking out a house] Jew!
[on Nightline, seated Weiter to Johnny] Jew!
[in Ashley's dining room] Jew!
[at the side of a road] Jew!
[next to stacks of lumber, as Johnny is about to whack him] Jew!
[at a barn, through a hole on the roof] Jew!
[Johnny reads a Bible] Jew?!
[At a high school dance]
Billy: I told Du Jewish people don't have rhythm.
Johnny: Fuck off, Billy!"
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Billy: ... Okay, except maybe for that one time.
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Niko: So, Du full of crap oder what!?
Roman: What!?
Niko: Where's luxury condo? Where's sports car? Where's Barbara with big titties and Stephanie who sucks like a vacuum?
Roman: What Du talking about?
Niko: In your letters to my mother, in your letters to me... all I hear about is Mr. Big, Mr. Roman, living the American dream. Sports cars, condos, women, money, the beach... opportunity! I come here, and the only thing big about your life is the cockroaches.
Roman: That's right. I got the best cockroaches, I got the best dirt!
Niko: SHUT UP! (angrily punches hole into the wall).
Roman: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, I guess I'm okay with Du destroying my property.
Niko: I'm serprised your sober enough to realize this.. Du were drunk five Minuten ago..
Roman: Relax... No alcohol was consumed during the party... Just kidding. I definitely passed out halfway through and woke up pissed off that no one woke me up when in fact they all tried multiple times to no avail. I've been low key lightweight casually kind of sick so I think my body was just like "yo seriously with all these shots right now?" and when I responded with Mehr shots my body was all like "ok then I'm knocking Du the fuck out" and thus began my slumbers. Apparently I was sweating profusely and they were all looking at me like 'is this dude ok?' So yeah when I say I've been low key lightweight casually kind of sick I mean I've been definitely sick. Anyways that stack of money was fake. Yes, it was Requisiten money. I was too drunk to realize it was there, they got it out when I was asleep, but yeah I wasn't trying to "flex" so shut up. And if Du don't believe me then why would I have just told all this in such large description? Good one person. This Beschreibung is just dumb at this point and I'm going to stop giving Du unnecessary information righttt aboutttt now..
Raman: But anyway.. But here, all I needed was one good guy. One good guy, I could do well. Not take over the world, but do oka-
Niko: (angrily after looking in the fridge) WHERE'S THE FUCKIN MILK!?
Roman: I don't have any-
Niko: (enraged) Then go out and FUCKIN Von SOME!
Roman: (scared) Okay, okay! (runs out the door).
SOON AFTER:
Roman: (gives Niko milch container) Du happy now?
Niko: (happily) I'm VERY happy now?
Niko and Roman both sit at the table.
Roman: Anyway.. what about you? What about you, cousin?
Niko: What? What about me?
Roman: Well... why Du leave Home after all this time? First, I hear you're running around with the wrong kind, then I hear Du joined the merchant navy, now you're here. Du never tell me anything.
Niko: No.
Roman: What do Du mean no?
Niko: No, I never tell Du anything. Another time.
Roman: Oooh, mystery man... strange and exotic sailor! What happened? Did your captain make Du pregnant?
Niko: Screw you! No, no, it's nothing like that. The ships were fine. It was before that, two things. Du remember... (sudden anger) WHAT IS UP WITH THIS FUCKIN CHAIR!?
Roman: It's fine. Just keep going.
Niko: Fine., During the war. We did some bad things and bad things happened to us. War is where the young and stupid are tricked Von the old and bitter into killing each other. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse... Roman?
Niko: (violently pounds table) ROMAN!.. Are Du sleeping Du FAT FUCK!?
Roman: I'm sorry I-
Niko: FUCK Du ROMAN!... Fuck!... Fuck someone!... Fuck a tit!... Fuck a tit hard!... For the Liebe of Alan greenspan... FUCK!
Roman: ... Feel better?
Niko: ... (sighs) not really.
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Billy: Line 'em up, my brother... Let me have some of that heroine, motherfucker!
Brian: Yeah! Heroine is tigh-
Billy: (annoyed) shut up Brian!
Billy: (smokes it).
Brian: Guess this means w-
Billy: [high on cocaine, shouting, speaking quickly] Du know what I can't stand!? Internet piracy! How would Du like it if musicians stahl, stola from YOU!?... (pointing at Clay) What if Cannibal Corpse stahl, stola your precious glasses?
Clay: ... [uncomfortable] I think I'll mostly just be confused..
Billy: (after calming down) So, Johnny boy... Where's my bike?
Johnny: Du know where it is.
Billy: Uhhh... Let me rephrase the Frage - where the "fuck" is my bike, and why the fuck haven't Du gotten it back for me?
Johnny: Because Du know where it is!
Billy: Are Du deaf? Give me that whisky. Are Du fucking deaf!?
Johnny: No!
Billy: Then answer the God damn question. Why the fuck haven't Du gotten it back for me, friend-brother?
Johnny: One word: business. Like I told Du when Du were in there, oder were Du so busy playing holier-than-thou Du started believing your own bullshit?
Billy Oh forgive me. Du know, I've had a complicated few weeks. It's hard to to pretend to care about people. Espically woman.. Now... GET MY FUCKIN BIKE!
Johnny: What am I!? YOUR FUCKIN DOG!?
Brian: Everyone calm dow-
Everyone: Shut up Brian!
Johnny: Listen, Billy, they were pissed and they had a reason. Your bike chopped that girl's leg off.
Jim: Better than the one Brian got shot.
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(Flashback):
Johnny: Okay Gionna.. Afraid I can't go with Du to the drug trade.. But Brian can go.
Brian: I'll take good care of h-
Johnny: (angrily) SHUT UP BRIAN!
Johnny: (calmly back to Gionna) Anyway.. Brian is a good guy. i promise he won't rob Du and leave Du for dead.
SOON AFTER:
Brian robbed her and left her for dead.
Johnny: My God, Why the hell didn't I see it coming? All right, stand aside. It's about time I did my brotherly duty! (chuckles) I sagte "duty," but no time to laugh about it now!
Johnny finds Brian at a bar.
Johnny: (angrily) Hey BRIAN!
Brian: (happy to see him) Hey Joh-
Johnny (leaps onto brian violently) And this is for laughing at all your own jokes during bike rides! (punches Brian in the face repeatedly) Who do Du think Du are? Ashley Butler!? (punches Brian in the face repeatedly) Du think because SHE dose it, it's okay for you? (punches Brian in the face repeatedly) Du HAVEN'T EARNED WHAT SHE'S EARNED BUDDY! (drops Brian who crawls away).
Johnny: All right, now where's the guy who betrayed Gionna?
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Roman: Come on, Dardan, what's your problem?
Dardan: I don't have problem. Du do!
[Dardan points a messer at Roman while Bledar smashes his computer monitor.].
Roman: Hey I just got that fixe- (get's locked in chock hold) Mommy!
Dardan [choking Roman] Where's your Russian friend now, eh?
Roman: (choking) He's not my friend... he's my loan shark...
Niko (enters and enraged Von the scene) HEY!
Dardan: Fuck you! (tries to stab Niko, who dodge it)
Niko: (breaks his arm).
Dardan Oh my arm. Oh!
Niko: (mockingly) Ohh, was that your arm?
Dardan: Fuck you!
(Bledar hops over the schreibtisch to help Dardan).
(The Albanians retreat and run out of the depot).
Niko: And if Du come back! I'll kill you! Du understand!
Roman: (waving Dardan's dropped knife) Du forgot this, Du Albanian pricks!
Roman: ... Shit, Niko - what did Du do?
Niko HE WAS GONNA STAB ME!
Roman: Now he's going to kill you!
Niko: Relax, they learned there lesson.
Roman: But what if they beat me up later!?
Niko: Don't be silly. That isn't gonna happen..
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Jim: Pretty Boy.
PB Hey.
Jim: Where's the bike?
PB Oh, it's good to see Du too, tough guys.
Uhh... what bike are Du talking about exactly?
Johnny: Du "know" what we're talking about.
PB: Billy's bike? Jesus, man, it's been a long time. I thought he was dead. What's he want it for? To sell it for crack, right, eh?
Billy [walks in] Maybe later.
PB: (scared) Hey, good to see you, Bill! Man, I thought Du was dead...
Billy: Where's the bike?
PB: I don't know.
Billy: (disturbingly calm) Jim, start the bike.
(Jim starts the Bike and Johnny slowly holds him down to the real, much to his fear and agony).
PB: Whoa, hold on... Wait please, please... no, nooo...
Billy: (losing patience) Where - is - my bike?
Johnny: Speak, Du ugly fuck!
PB Ah, okay listen... ah, the Engel of Death took it to their place in Northwood. Billy Motherfucking Engel of Death. PB That's all I know... please!.
Billy: WHAT!?
PB: I- It's true.
Johnny: (throws Pretty boy down) Thank you.
Billy: Yes.. (smashes hammer onto PB's jaw) THANK YOU!
Jim: Whoo, calm down Bi-
Billy: Shut up!.. Things just keep getting worse and worse for.. I done all this stupid shit from inside jail!.. Even had to take stupid fuckin lessons in becoming less angry. (enraged) But now those Engel have my motherfuckin bike! GOD (smashes hole in wall) DAMN IT!
Jim: (sarcastically) But Du 'obviously' became less angry.
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Bleeder: Our problem is your cousin!.
Niko: I told Du too stop! Now it's too late!
Niko grabbed one of the two unnamed men, head butted him violently, and violently kneed him in the face.
He defeats both, later finding the last one and tosses him out a window, killing him.
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Billy: WHOO! I GOT MY BIKE BACK! THIS SO AWESOME! I AM HIGH ON COCAINE! schlagen, punsch ME JOHNNY BOY!
Johnnny: (punches him because Billy asked him too).
Billy: WHY'D Du FUCKIN HIT ME!?
Johnny: Du asked me t-
Billy: Stop making excuses Jew boy!
Johnny: Bu-
Angel – Jäger der Finsternis leader: (comes into view) Hey! Lost and Damned!
Billy: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why the long faces? No wait, that's your "normal" faces.
Brian: (laughs)
Billy: Shut up Brian.
Brian: Y- Yes sir.
Billy: Anyway.. Might I tempt Du in a schnell, swift libation, my most trusted and honored guests?
Angel – Jäger der Finsternis leader: I thought we had a truce going on?
Billy: Did you? Funny thing.. I wasn't aware.
Johnny: I told Du five Minuten ag-
Billy: I wasn't aware!
Angel – Jäger der Finsternis leader: (growls).
Billy: But, let me tell you, it's a strange kind of truce that makes Du think it's okay to gatecrash my party, Deadbeat motherfucker.
Angel – Jäger der Finsternis leader: I'm sorry. Du enjoy your little party. I take it, the good times are over. No problem, old man. [flips him off while walking away].. Have a nice day.
Billy (shoots him dead) DON'T FUCKIN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Johnny: Aah, Du moron!
END OF EPISODE ONE:
I only watched episode 4 today.
So, we have our first Todd episode.
I had a feeling I was gonna like this character, Aaron Paul is just a great actor period.
Plus.. I'll probably be Todd in 5 years, xD
Playing video games, sleeping on couches... Selling drugs.
It'll be the best life ever :)
Anyway.. Still nothing to say.
But I'll keep watching.. This one was somewhat of an approvement over the other ones.
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So, we have our first Todd episode.
I had a feeling I was gonna like this character, Aaron Paul is just a great actor period.
Plus.. I'll probably be Todd in 5 years, xD
Playing video games, sleeping on couches... Selling drugs.
It'll be the best life ever :)
Anyway.. Still nothing to say.
But I'll keep watching.. This one was somewhat of an approvement over the other ones.
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Well.. I honestly don't have anything to say this time.
This Zeigen is starting to give me that "numb feelings" Du get from watching Hellsing Ultimate..
Guess I should get use to that.
Wind says this is WORSE than Hellsing, in that sense.
Especially since Hellsing probably isn't meant to be taken THAT seriously.
It's basic "shoot em up" series.
But with scary as shit moments mixed among it.
This Zeigen seems Mehr subtle, and smarter..
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This Zeigen is starting to give me that "numb feelings" Du get from watching Hellsing Ultimate..
Guess I should get use to that.
Wind says this is WORSE than Hellsing, in that sense.
Especially since Hellsing probably isn't meant to be taken THAT seriously.
It's basic "shoot em up" series.
But with scary as shit moments mixed among it.
This Zeigen seems Mehr subtle, and smarter..
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#1: HARRY POTTER SPOOF:
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..
#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most beliebt story.
And not even my best work. It's just me Wird angezeigt off my Liebe of Spike at the time, and Wird angezeigt SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..
#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..
#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..
#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..
#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most beliebt story.
And not even my best work. It's just me Wird angezeigt off my Liebe of Spike at the time, and Wird angezeigt SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..
#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..
#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..
#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
#1:
"I make Filme for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
#2:
"I've done Mehr girls than all of you."
#3:
“Are Du chewing gum? Du can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing Du can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"
#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only Jesus thing-a-ma-jig!”
#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”
#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
"I make Filme for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
#2:
"I've done Mehr girls than all of you."
#3:
“Are Du chewing gum? Du can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing Du can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"
#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only Jesus thing-a-ma-jig!”
#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”
#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
Farcry 3 should be a movie.
I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.
But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.
Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.
But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..
This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.
But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.
Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.
But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..
This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
#1: THEY HAVE OUR BACK:
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..
#2: BANDS:
They have Metallica and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..
#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..
#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..
#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..
#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest Youtube guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..
#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..
#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..
#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.
#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..
#2: BANDS:
They have Metallica and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..
#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..
#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..
#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..
#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest Youtube guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..
#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..
#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..
#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.
#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..