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#1:
Woods: (catch phrase) Du CAN'T KILL ME!!


#2:
Mason: Woods, Du look like hammered shit!
Woods: Looks don't count for shit in the jungle. This is 'Nam baby!


#3:
Woods: (when Mason "player" shoots him) Du do that again! I'll kill you!


#4:
Woods: Back in '64, the CIA gave up control of covert operations in South-East Asia... handed it over to the US military. From that, MAC-V-SOG was born. Now aside from being a base for the Marine Corps, Khe Sanh is our launching point for all cross-border activities. Mostly Laos and Cambodia. Missions are S&D, sabotage, black propaganda, strategic reconnaissance,...
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#1:
Hines: Now listen, I'm just bored as Du are.. But we're gonna all listen as this dork finishes his little useless yackedy yack yack.


#2:
Hines: WHAT!? IN THE NAME OF GOD!? JUST HAPPENED!?
Yomanshi: I don't think they were fooled coach.
Hines: Is that what Du THINK Yomanshi!? Maybe that's because Du decided to start standing in open territory!


#3:
Hines: STOP IT! oder I WILL SET Du ON FIRE!!


#4:
Hines: I swear to god in heaven I will turn your eyes into scrambled eggs.. DON'T ASK ME HOW!!


#5:
Hines: Out there.. Is our enemy.. The norwood, academy for deranged boys... And they.. Would like nothing...
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#1:
"[during a robbery] Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing! ON THE FLOOR! NOW!"


#2:
"I'm rich, I'm miserable.. I'm pretty average for this town"


#3:
"You twisted fuck! Your a dead man!"


#4:
"nothing.. I was just Lost in an old 80's movie montage"


#5:
"(sparing hostage) Forget a thousand things every dad pal... Why don't Du make sure this one of them"


#6:
Jimmy De Santa: Hey, let's bounce.
Michael De Santa: Bounce? We're bouncing now? Is that what we're doing? Jesus fucking Christ.


#7:
Dr. Isiah Friedlander: Your...
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BEST OF ANDERSON:

Anderson: Please support the official release, Du protestant fuckbucket.

Alucard: Well. Now that's over with. Let's go back to my place and eat my Favorit cereal- (gets decapitacated)
Anderson: Now that that's over with, let's go to my place and eat my Favorit cereal- (Sara's gone) AHH SON OF A PROSITION WHORE!
Anderson: Well. Du know what time it is.. (Rape time)

Anderson: So what can I do for you, Father O'Mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan... ah-who is also Italian?

Intergra: Du do realise. This is a great violation of our agreement.
Anderson: Oh. And...
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posted by Canada24
In celebration of finally beating Red Dead 2.. Here's best Zitate of new protagonst, Arthur Morgan..


#1:
Arthur: Damn Marston. That's smart.. Du might the only guy I know, to be half eaten Von wolves, and come back a smarter man..

#2:
Arthur: As long as we get paid oder Du get shot I'm happy.

#3:
Arthur: Maybe when your mother is finished mourning your father... I'll keep her in black, on your behalf.

#4:
Arthur: John made it. He's the only one. Rest of us... No.

#5:
Arthur: This whole thing is pretty much done. We're Mehr ghosts than people.

#6:
Tommy: Come on than pretty boy!
Arthur: Pretty boy? You're kidding me, Pretty Boy!?

#7:
Micah: Seems were the only ones crazy enough to be out here.
Arthur: Don't speak to me about 'crazy'.

#8:
Arthur: I gave Du all I had....
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Here are two previews to Fan fictions coming soon to this very club.

The Storm - 2015

Theme song: link

Ten miles from Ponyville, Von the Delamare River is a town called Frenchtown. Hundreds of ponies live there, and together, they must survive.....

The Storm

Starring in alphabetical order

Aurora from Alinah_09
Barry from SeanTheHedgehog
Ditto from Canada24
Emerald Ivy from Dragonaura15
Fire Vi Equestria from Jordy_Dash
Jesse from SeanTheHedgehog
Joe from SeanTheHedgehog
Katana Sun from BlondLionEzel
Lexi from Sonicexeluv
Orion from Alinah_09
Saten Twist from Canada24
Snowflake from Alinah_09...
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#1:
“(being attacked Von Zombie, before knowing what zombies are) STOP! LEAVE ME ALONE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”


#2:
“(To Governor) Du PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS!!"


#3:
“Thinking of the good times makes all this seem worse”


#4:
Lori: Rick, Du shaking.
Rick: The past two days.. I been so focused on finding Du and Carl.. I hadn’t had time… To be scared.


#5:
Carl (kills Shane): (in tears) It’s not the same as killing the dead ones Daddy.
Rick (hugs him): I never SHOULD be son.. It never should be.


#6:
“I understand what your saying Tyreese. I just watched my best friend flip out...
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THE JOKER:
Most people wouldn't considered Joker a genius.
But when Du REALLY think about.. Joker is smarter than Du realize.. WAY smarter.

The thing about the Joker is that he doesn't see his acts as bad oder as good.. he convinces himself, he is the only sane person in the world, perhaps with the exception of the bat. It is everyone else who hides their true selves under false masks of humanity, and make-believe tales of such delusonal ideas as love, kindness, law, and order. His whole existence is an attempt to strip these delusions away and reveal people for the selfish, depraved, chaotic...
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Grand Theft Auto has become one of the best selling games ever made, selling literally millions of copies and Mehr than games like Modern Warfare, Skyrim, Ocarina of Time, and even getting one up over Super Mario Bros. It just goes to Zeigen that children really do give Mehr of a shit about GTA than Nintendo’s icon. But we’re not here to talk about GTA…. okay, we are, but not positively. We’re here to talk about the most hated characters in the game. Yeah, being in the criminal Underworld for five games and eight other ones with no numbers in it, you're bound to run into at least one...
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#1:
Phillip Clyde: I'm going to kill Du both. Then, I'm going to drain all your blood, take out your bones, put your body in a big chair with some elves and reindeer, and sit on your lap and tell Du all the cool shit I want for Christmas.
Elliot Salem: This guy *clearly* had a messed up childhood.
Tyson Rios: [scoff] Ya think?


#2:
Phillip Clyde: No problem, fuck-o.
[gives the middle finger and jumps off the ship]
Elliot Salem: "Fuck-o"?. Who says that!?


#3:
Phillip Clyde: I'm gonna kill Du both, slice Du open and go to an aerobics class waring your intestines for leg warmers!
Elliot Salem: I mean...
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#1: THE POKEMON STORY:
WE WERE WARNED. For months Rob told us there was a spirit-shattering tale of Pokemon-y wrongness out there, and we laughed at him. He sagte it was the worst Fan fiction he’d seen, and we waved him off. We taunted him, begged him to fucking Zeigen it. We were so innocent then. How could we know? How could we possibly prepare ourselves for the depths this story would go to?

The Pokemon story went to lengths as bad as Lara Croft and Squick, but it did it in the lovingly cutesy world of Pokemon. This, frankly, was bad enough to put it at the oben, nach oben of the list. The things that...
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#1:
Pagan Min: I distinctly remember saying, "Stop the bus." Not "shoot the bus." "*Stop* the bus." I'm very particular with my words. "Stop." "Shoot." "Stop." "Shoot." Do those words sound the same?
Officer: But it got out of control...
Pagan Min: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did Du say?
Officer: It got out of control.
Pagan Min: "Got out of control." I hate when things get out of control.
[stabs the soldier with a pen, throws him to the ground and continues stabbing him]
Pagan Min: (while stabbing him) Du had one fucking job and Du couldn't fucking do that!
[sits]
Pagan Min: And I got blood...
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#1:
"I am honored to be the first CEO of a private corporation to become a member of the United Nations Security Council. Unfortunately, my appearance today has been clouded Von a flurry of speculation that my company is developing a weapon of mass destruction which would be capable of targeting specific ethnic groups. I want to address these allegations head on. Are we developing such a weapon? No we are not. Because we've already developed it. But with all due respect, the United Nations is a relic from a different time when nations were unique in their ability to solve the world's problems....
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I only played 4 and 5.. So please bare with that ....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

#1: PACKIE MCCREARY:


Here he is, the whole reason I started Schreiben GTA stories in the first place. I just wanted to write something about Packie. But what I ended up creating instead is a still ongoing series with a huge cast of characters, and many different crossovers.. Packie almost always remains a important character. And his friendship with Dash Lucia, which also kick started the series, still remains as strong as ever.. Both of them still remain labeled...
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#1:
Vanilla Ice: So what’s it like?
Girl: What’s what like?
Ice: Du know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y’know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simple asking a normal human question, out of, curiousity, and not for my, deta, HUMAAAAAN!!!

#2:
Jon (singing Whitney Houston): AND IIIIIIIIIIII (HOLY SHIT!!) WILL ALWAYS Liebe YOU, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D DO THIS TO ME! GOD DAMMIT, HOW CAN Du DO THIS TO ME!!!

#3:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOFF!!!

#4:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:...
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#1:
POST: I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
ME: Don't worry little lady. If your the kids first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay oder a serial killer..


#2:
POST: I'm bored.. Somebody fuck be.
ME: I would, but Du might cough on me, and I might catch your stupid.


#3:
POST: How do Christians reproduce, if they think sex is a sin, how do they have babies!?
ME: No, no, your mistaking Christians for temblr feminists., they consider Du a rapist for "having a penis"


#4:
POST: Who trying to get me pregnant?...
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#1: CATHY WESELUCK:
She Mehr often than not portrays a male character.
She gives off the cute yet sarcastic voice in shows like Kid VS Kat.
Awful show. Just awful.
But I just like hearing her, even though she was a minor character.
So when I realized it was her that voiced Spike. Du can all guess, it's what inspired me to watch Mehr than just the first episode. Otherwise I never would be here, after just seeing one episode. I hated every character, except Twilight, cause I do kinda like Tara Strong Mehr then I say I do. And Twilight was just so cute :).
Anyway. I looked up a clip of Near from...
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#1:
Steve Jobs (Ian): So buy the iPhone 5... oder I'LL #$%^ YOUR #$%@ AND @#$%$ YOUR @#$%!.. (smiles)

#2:
Ian: (evilly) Here Du go Mom! (giggles evilly)
[Ian's Mom eats the donut and starts choking]
Ian: Die mom! (laughs)
Ian's Mom: (coughs) Just a sprinkle.
Ian: (visibly upset) But you're supposed to DIE!
[Ian starts crying]
Ian's Mom: Oh, honey, honey, Du can try to kill me again later.

#3:
Anthony: So I woke up super-glued to the toilet seat. And the toilet was filled with poop. I mean FILLED, like 10 people just decided not to flush. I started gagging so I flushed the toilet... and then it started...
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#1: GIVE IT EVERYTHING:
It's kinda hard to summarize this story, but basically it's a set of emails, where a man gets a mysterious dog on his front yard, holding a sign saying "give it everything", and gave it too his son. But the kid begins Schauspielen weird after that. And the dog watches him sleep, not in a cute way, but disturbing way.
In each email, the writer becomes Mehr and Mehr paranoid.
I won't spoil much, so your have to read the story.
But it's scarier than Du think.. Especially when THATCREEPYREADING reads it to you..


#2: NO HOMOPHONES:
The narrator is fucking NUTS. As a kid, he got...
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Been seeing it about four months now, and it's the most "quotable" series EVER...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

#1:
(live audience scene):
Peele: What I often do.. I take note of things my girl dose wrong, and call her on it at the right times.
Key: (pretending to be the girl) Jordon, why'd Du leave the toilet sitz up?
Peele: hündin WHY WAS Du LATE LAST NIGHT, AND I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING!?


#2:
(live audience scene):
Girl in audience: (laughing too hard)
Key: Ma'am... Breath.


#3:
Key: (texting angrily) do Du even WANT to hang out!?
Peele: (texting calmly) Like I said...
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