Du start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom to practise your shunpo power.
Du write to your mother in Karakura, Japan every week, even though she sends Du mail from Iowa asking why Du never write.
Every time Du see a straße sign, Du have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.
Du put oranges on your head because Du heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.
You're always having to apologize to your Weiter door neighbour for setting feuer to his lawn decorations, mistaken as hollows.
Every "bwahaha" Du hear on the radio reminds Du of death.
People stay away from Du whenever they hear Du howl.
Your breath smells Mehr and Mehr like an arrancar dung each passing day.
Nobody listens to Du anymore, because they can't understand Du through that hollow mask.
Du begin to stop and consider all of the hell Schmetterlinge you've played on as a child, and worry that their owners are going to one Tag seek revenge.
Du have meaningful conversations with your Bunny.
Your father pretends Du are a shinigami, just to play along with your little illusion.
Du collect Bleach Posters.
Every time the phone rings, Du shout, "Hey! It should be the hollow signal alert!"
Du like cats. Especially black ones having velvet eyes.
Du put kirsche blossom petals in the microwave to see if they'll pop a blade.
Du have a predominant fear of fabric softener.
Your dentist asks Du why each individual tooth has your name etched on it like Toshiro, Byakuya, Rukia, Ichigo..., and Du tell him it's for security reasons.
Swords excite you.
When the waiter asks for your order, Du ask to go into another dimension to tell him because "the hollow won't let Du eat."
Du tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.
Du argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten Von FURA oder to be loved Von a horde of menos grande.
Du like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a "Shinigami on duty".
Du try to make a Liste of the Warning Signs of Bleach Insanity. (cough)
People offer Du help, but Du unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a strawberry.
Du keep thinking this is the Jahr 100 years ago, when Hollowfication was rampant.
Du despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only in JApanese.
Du see migrating group of rabbits in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps Du from joining them.
The person Du always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.
Du like Lesen lists like this.
A self portrait of Tite Kubo
