Light: (Watching Attack on Titan) What the hell can that guy do that I can’t
Eren: (Kills a Titan)
Light: ………… (Writes Eren’s name in the Death Note)
Eren: (Gets eaten Von a Titan)
Light: HA HA!
Eren: (Transforms into a Titan)
Light: OH, FUCK YOU

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L: (In laptop) Okay, hello everyone. I’m L, the world’s greatest detective. Who are Du all
Soichiro: I am Soichiro, but Du will all call me Chief, no matter what. I am the chief-
L: Of course
Soichiro: And… actually, that’s about it
Aizawa: I’m Aizawa, and I am rarely taken seriously because of my suit
L: Yeah…….. Your suit
Matsuda: I’m Matsuda, and-
L: Yeah, I don’t care. Anyway, I have gotten information that criminals have died from morning to evening on weekdays. This could mean Kira is actually a student. Possibly a student who is popular, has brown hair, and could quite possibly eat chips in the most epic way possible.
Soichiro: But there are millions of people like that
L: Yes, but we can’t rule out the fact that Kira is a student. I will keep that in mind for later. Anything else
Matsuda: Well, crimes have been decreasing since criminals have been dying
(Everyone goes quiet)
L: … Oh, well no shit, Matsuda. I mean, if Du were to commit a crime, do Du actually think you’d survive at all once your face is plastered on the news
Matsuda: Well, no, but-
L: Exactly. This is why Du shouldn’t talk at meetings
Matsuda: But this is our first meeting
L: Scratch that, this is why Du shouldn’t talk period.
Matsuda: Ooooh
L: Okay. Everyone, I want Du to investigate the victims. And be thero on the faces. Especially the faces. That is all. Bye-bye………
Soichiro: Uhh
L: Oh, shit. Uh, Watari. Could Du carry the laptop out of here (Watari does so)
(Later)
Matsuda: Hey, Chief, sorry about mentioning the decline in crimes. I just thought it was important
Soichiro: (Places his hand on Matsuda’s shoulder) ….. SHUT THE FUCK UP, MATSUDA!
(Meanwhile)
Light: Du just gotta carry the two
Sayu: But this is science homework
Light: CARRY THE GODDAMN TWO!
(Door rings)
Sayu: (Opens the door) Hi, dad
Soichiro: (Rings the doorbell)
Sayu: Uh, dad
Soichiro: I CAN’T STOP!
(Meanwhile)
Ryuk: So, your old mans the chief of police
Light: That’s right. And thanks to that, I can just use his computer to find out what the police have learned about Kira. Of course, I doubt they’ll find out anything about Ki- (See’s that they found out Kira is a student) ……….. (Clicks out of it and watches a video)
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Light: (Starts grinning)
(Meanwhile)
L: Okay, so, as it turns out, there were Mehr murders. This time, they were a bit… different from the last murders
(Yesterday)
Light: (Writing in the Death Note) Marcus Jones, but before he does, writes on a piece of paper “White Chicks did this to me”
(Meanwhile)
Soichiro: Oh my god, White Chicks is the worst kind of person
L: But, I know that with all of Du here, we will be able to achieve this and stop Kira. Who’s with me
Police: Actually, we have our resignation letters
L: FUCK!
(Meanwhile)
Teacher: Light, would Du please read for the class the Weiter paragraph
Light: (Reads) Hey, man. Did Du see the last TWD last night- Whoops, sorry. That’s my text message
Ryuk: (Looks out the window, and see’s a man standing outside) What the-
(Meanwhile)
Watari: L?
L: Yes?
Watari: The FBI agent from America has been made it and is spying on a group of underaged children right now
L: Well, when Du put it that way, he sounds like a real hero
(Meanwhile)
Ryuk: Light, there’s some guy following us)
Light: Why are Du telling me this
Ryuk: Isn’t it obvious. He’s creeping me the fuck out.
Light: Well, that man has no idea who he’s dealing with
FBI Agent: *Who the fuck is he talking to*
(Later)
Light: (Walks into his room) How am I going to get rid of that Neighborhood Watch Guy
Ryuk: Perhaps I can help
Light: How?
Ryuk: Us Shinigami have something called the Shinigami Eye
Light: Oh really
Ryuk: Yep. With it, we can see a humans name and lifespan. Of course, I won’t tell Du what your lifespan is.
Light: Why not
Ryuk: Because reasons. Of course, I could give Du the Shinigami Eyes
Light: Really?
Ryuk: Yes, but, Du have to give me something in return
Light: Like what. Another apple
Ryuk: As great as that would be, no. I want half of your lifespan
Light: ….
Ryuk: So, do we have a deal
Light: Well-
To Be Continued