Why does this not exist?

Me: For dadadas so he won't fuck me. Please enjoy. X3
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While doing some research for a Berichten on her school history, Bonnibel (Yep, that's right-Princess Bubblegum -Emerald) discovered something very disturbing. According to old newspaper Artikel in the Ooo library, before her school was built over fifty years ago, an orphanage stood in it's place. It was no ordinary orphanage-it was rumored to be haunted.
"Several children claim that they have seen a tall man in a black suit lurking around the orphanage," stated one article.
There were reports of disappearances,...

Me: This has something to do with my Zurück story, Forgive Me, Heart. Of course, PB and Ice King are main characters. ENJOY, as usual. :)
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It was the Tag of Flame Princess and Finn's wedding. Ice King came and kidnapped Princess Bubblegum. They arrived in the Ice Castle, and Ice King let Princess Bubblegum go.

"Why did Du kidnap me, Ice King?!" Princess Bubblegum said. "You see, I don't have ANY intention of marrying Du anymore, Princess. I just want Du as my servant." He replied. "Now change in to your maid clothes!" he sagte as he used his magic to...