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posted by -SkySplitter-
I don't own any of these
_____________________________________________

1. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint?

A: Red paint.

2. Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

3. Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

4. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

5. What do Du call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?

I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

6. Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet Du want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if Du don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the strand one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand Jahr imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant Du three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my Weiter wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in Liebe and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, Du know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

7. How do Du wake up Lady Gaga?

Du set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

8. Why did the chicken kreuz the road? To get to the other side.

9. Why did the plane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread

10. If Chuck Norris has $5 and Du have $5, Du both have the same amount of money
___________________________________________
That's it for now.
1.Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2.While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3.Every time Du turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

4.Go up to the manager and tell him oder her that you've Lost your mommy.

5.While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6.Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles - and around corners - with a magnifying glass.

7.While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he oder she has anything for body lice.

8.After visiting the bakery section,...
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posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOPPPPEEEEEEE
CHHHHHHHHAAAAANNNNEEEELLLLLL!
HIA VIEWERS!
It's me your host Invader Calliope.
It's nice to see Du again! :3
Well todays specail guest is......IGGINS!
Iggins:Oh It's me IGGIN *laughs*
Invader Calliope:Your laugh was way off.
Iggins:What?
Invader Calliope:I sagte YOUR LAUGH WAS WAY OFF!
Iggins:What do Du mean?
Invader Calliope:YOUR LAUGH COMES FROM RIGHT HERE *places hand on heart*
Iggins:YES MA'AM!
Invader Calliope:Ok so we got that over with! It's time for some talking!
Iggins:O-ok!
Invader Calliope:*smiles*
Iggins:Hello?
Invader Calliope:So how was your trip IGGINS!
Iggin:I-it was easy I al-alread-already live close so it was easy.
Invader Calliope:Well that's nice to know.I'm closing the Zeigen today! BYE! I HOPE Du ENJOY THE SUPRISE PICTURE!
The End
esah

because he's a stupid perverted boy. I was having a normal conversation with him then he out of the blue accused me of "wanting to be with him" of not being a virgin. Repeatedly insulted me(i wont repeat what he said) and tried to "seduce" me. And now hes trying to flirt with me



Yes K5-HOWL has Lost her mind because of the sick bitches in this world,

This is just a simple warning thing. This is not to be cruel just to warn fellow fanpoppers of who to stay away from.

-___- He just gave his phone number, that ticks me off. I will post Updates if Du want :)
posted by EllentheStrange
1.Go into the restroom,fall into the toilet and scream at the oben, nach oben of your lungs TOILET RAPE!
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy bär and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. Du hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as Du can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say Du were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a Zufällig person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive Du cheated on me with that whore" and point to a Zufällig girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If Du are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If Du are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz oder dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the Weiter week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told Du I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell Du again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can Du tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
everyone is beautiful in their own way.
-Alana

just because Du Liebe someone else doesn't mean Du have to break one Mehr heart.
-alana

everybody's life is different, so don't try to live someone else's life.
-Alana

it doesn't matter how Du look at the outside, look at the inside and find your real beauty.
-Alana

life is never the same, Du can't take whats not yours away.
-Alana

believe in yourself and never give upon your dreams.
-Alana

if Du dont express your talents you'll be known as no one.
-Alana

life is precious with who your with, not with who Du want to be with.
-Alana

why be who your not, when Du can enjoy being who Du are.
-Alana

if Du let yourself down, Du let everyone behind Du down.
-Alana

your first Liebe will alwats be around, no matter what.
-Alana
posted by Trent-lover123
 Brought to Du Von Trent-lover123
Brought to you by Trent-lover123
Alexa:Im going to be late again Stupid Hollows Trying to kill me!!!*slips on a banane peel* Kikio:Are Du ok???
Alexa:AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! dont scare me like that and yes Im a-ok.
Kikio:wonderful did Du see kuno I want to ask him out. *blushing*
Alexa:EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Kikio:Your so mean, ok then I think its grows that Du like Ichigo!
Alexa:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW I like Koaru not I-Ichigo he's to dang angry all the time.
Kikio:omg were going to be late come on!!!
Viviana:HI Alexa and kikio your finaly at school.
Kiara:Geuss what Im entering the talent contest.
Alexa:man I was going to geuss...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


A fleet of Rebel ships were close to the planet of Sullust. Inside one of the Mon Calamari ships, pilots were preparing their X-Wings. Other ships were carrying Y-Wings, and A-Wings.

Wedge: *Gives a high five to a Y-Wing* We're gonna do just fine.
Y-Wing Pilot: I copy red leader.

They both chuckled, and looked at a pilot in green.

Y-Wing Pilot: Must be one of the pilots for the new A-Wing.
Green-7: Hey. Ready to go?
Wedge: Yeah, Du let me know how those A-Wings are. I might try one myself.
Green-7: Will do....
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