I suddenly realized what was happening. I couldn't follow Leeland home! I couldn't face home! I couldn't stand the thought of seeing my mother again. It wasn't because I hated her, I felt guilty, and I was running from that feeling.
I stopped dead in my tracks. Leeland turned around, confusion in his eyes. I panicked. What do I say? How do I get out of this one?
"Aren't Du coming kid?" Leeland asked.
I took a step foreward, then hesitated, "I can't." I said. Best start from there to buy me some time to think up an explanation for the Frage I knew was coming up. "Why not?" Leeland asked as I had predicted he would. "Be-.." I began, scrambling for words, "Because she's dead." I fibbed, "I lied when I sagte mom was ok. She isn't. My siblings are missing. I came here looking for help." That wasn't an entire lie. I HAD sparked thoughts of finding refudge here in the army camp when Leeland proved to be a decent guy. Leeland bought my lies and fixed me with a compassionate gaze that almost made we wish I hadn't lied to him, but there was too much holding me back from telling the truth. There was no going Home now- not that I wanted to. Leeland sighed, "Well then.." He seemed to be thinking, looking down at his sun-tanned, webbed feet. I wondered how many battlefeilds those feet had probably carried him over and my thirst for a long war story throbbed in my chest. I couldn't ask him that now. He was obviously deep in thought and his response would decide whether I stay oder not. I was wary of the army thanks to my father, but some part me wanted to live here, to be a soldier, to win wars, to lead armies. Leeland lifted his head and looked at me. To this Tag I remember the feelings I got from that expression. It was something I didn't recognise because I'd never felt it as a boy. I know now what it was. It was the tingle down your spine that Du get when you're around your father- one who thinks proudly of you. Now my guilt for lying to Leeland was almost unbearable, but I couldn't cave in. I couldn't! Leeland nodded, "Why don't Du stay here Alexander? Du can learn Von watching. And when you're sixteen if Du still want to enlist we'll gladly let Du Mitmachen us. What do Du say?" he asked. I felt the urge to run to him and throw my flippers around him as I'd always thought I would to my real father when he saw me. I realized then how abrupt and childish that would be at my age. I nodded. "Thanks." I replied. Leeland put his flippers on my shoulders and said, "Boy, your father was a great hero. I intend to mold Du into the man you're meant to be. I man like him."
My herz lurched. I prayed a silent plea that I would never be as heartless as my father. I then realized, I had already been. I'd betrayed my mother, abandonned my family, and decieved a great penguin. I was no better than my father. I couldn't believe it. I could hardly stand living with myself. There were two things I felt I could do at this point. Change, oder die.