"It was an early March morning, so early that the sky still had streaks of orange and pink in it."
Benny:
Benny climbed onto the bus, giving the bus driver a kind smile as he paid his fare. It was an early March morning, so early that the sky still had streaks of orange and rosa in it, very reluctantly giving way to gray-blue. It was cold out, so Benny pulled his brown jacke tighter around him as he took his sitz near the back of the bus.
He sat in the sitz nearest the window, like he always did when he was sitting Von himself. He cracked it open a bit. The breeze, however cold it was, made him feel a little less cooped up, a little less separated from the rest of the world that wasn’t on the bus with him.
The window had a gray film of dirt and exhaust pipe fumes covering it, and a few dead bugs that still hadn’t managed to fall off yet. Through it the world looked a little discoloured and blurred. But Benny figured that was all right because the world was a little discoloured and blurred. Bus windows are really just reality checks.
The seats weren’t very comfortable. He hadn’t been lucky enough to get the bus with the soft seats – this one just had hard, cold plastic ones. Benny didn’t mind, he always got used to it after a while, even if he did just have to learn to ignore the aching in his tail bone.
The smell wasn’t great, but it wasn’t as bad as other times Benny had ridden the bus. And the open window helped. Benny had come to like the smell of buses he’d gotten so used to it.
“Where Du off to so early?” the bus driver asked, his eyes quickly flicking away from the empty road to the rear view mirror to look back at Benny.
Benny shrugged, an involuntary grin spreading across his lips. He was happy. He was looking vorwärts-, nach vorn to the Tag that lay ahead of him. “I don’t know yet.”
Benny knew this confused the bus driver, but he also knew it wouldn’t be very wise to explain himself to him just yet. He knew that today would be a good Tag and that he’d get a lot of work done. He knew that it would be cold all Tag so there wouldn’t be as many people taking the bus, but he also knew that the people he wanted would be. He knew it’d be a difficult day, a long day, but he knew that those were the days that were the most important.
Benny knew a lot of things, and Benny knew all this because Benny knew he was God.
I needed more, more! I threw the book across the dimly lit, wooden attic. The book hit a stack of old newspapers. I tore open yet another book. Nothing would give me my answers.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” sagte Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” sagte Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Memories,
Confusion,
So many thoughts,
The end is near,
The darkness coming,
Now its here,
The Zeigen is over,
The lights are off,
We now say goodnight,
Goodbye,
As we begin 2 open the new chapter
It hurts at first,
Will the changes be extreme?
Please, just tell me,
This was only a dream,
I want to go back,
To relive this again,
This high point in life,
It can't end.
The stage lights dimmed,
The leaving spoke,
With happy faces on,
But tears in their eyes,
This Zeigen is over,
Now go home.
Confusion,
So many thoughts,
The end is near,
The darkness coming,
Now its here,
The Zeigen is over,
The lights are off,
We now say goodnight,
Goodbye,
As we begin 2 open the new chapter
It hurts at first,
Will the changes be extreme?
Please, just tell me,
This was only a dream,
I want to go back,
To relive this again,
This high point in life,
It can't end.
The stage lights dimmed,
The leaving spoke,
With happy faces on,
But tears in their eyes,
This Zeigen is over,
Now go home.
