Someone once told me that when Du let a little light into your life it can make everything seem brighter. When Du let light into your life, the dark consumes it and your left empty again. Everyone thought I was depressed, I wasn’t going to tell them differently because I was starting to believe it to. I grew up alone after my parents died; I was nothing Mehr than a burden to my older sister who took me in. I avoided people and Friends after that as well, afraid of being left alone again. My psychologist told me I couldn’t go on like this forever, I was determined to prove her wrong. What does it matter to them anyways? If I’m gone who is there to miss? Maybe, if only Du remember that quite girl at the back of the class. She’s the one who works hard, only for the purpose of not having to talk to those around her. The sister Du wish was gone so Du don’t have to work so hard to pay rent? It all had very little effect on me at the time. To me it was no Mehr than one less thing I had to worry about. It became rather tedious work to find your “place” in a world that shows no mercy. In other worlds, I strut around town with a new sort of confidence. There was that confidence that if no one cared oder noticed than there is no need to hold back. I was free, free to do anything I pleased and have nothing to worry about. Was it what I wanted, no not really anyway. I wanted to be loved again. Things were different then, when I had someone to tuck me in at night, KISS my forehead when I had a fever and help me with homework I wish I didn’t have to do. What can Du do about? Well it’s quite simple, Du end it. If I wasn’t found no one would look for me. I was scared obviously, everyone fears death. What is it like? Where do Du go? Obviously it hurts but that depends on your attitude towards it. I promise, if an Angel – Jäger der Finsternis is what I become I will make up for everything. So here I am, in the middle of an ally, an old küche messer in my hand. This whole thing was spurring of the moment so I really didn’t have much chose on how I would kill myself, no Mehr like relive myself of this pity filled life. I brought the messer to my chest, my palms sweating, hands trembling. I jump; someone places a hand on mine. I open one eye then the other. My dark eyes focused on his, blue as the ocean, his complexion soft and friendly, his tousled brown hair mopped on his head. His voice was soft and inviting
“You know, that’s not going to help but maybe this will” and he hugs me, this complete stranger. I was no longer alone, I was going to live.
“You know, that’s not going to help but maybe this will” and he hugs me, this complete stranger. I was no longer alone, I was going to live.
I know what happened,
I know that your parents are divorced,
because I was the first
Du told.
I want to help you,
but I don't know
what all that
pressure
and sorrow feels like.
Like you're drowning
in a pool of tears
and your friends
are just watching and
laughing,
like it's a joke.
But it's not a joke,
it's your life.
They aren't even
your friends,
they are just people
who say they earned
that title.
I don't understand.
My parents aren't
divorced,
they don't fight
every time when
they see each
others face.
I can't help.
But you're
my friend.
My best
friend.
And I will
try to help.
I will stand Von
your side even when
we are miles away.
Because even though
it might not feel like it,
Du are never
alone.
I know that your parents are divorced,
because I was the first
Du told.
I want to help you,
but I don't know
what all that
pressure
and sorrow feels like.
Like you're drowning
in a pool of tears
and your friends
are just watching and
laughing,
like it's a joke.
But it's not a joke,
it's your life.
They aren't even
your friends,
they are just people
who say they earned
that title.
I don't understand.
My parents aren't
divorced,
they don't fight
every time when
they see each
others face.
I can't help.
But you're
my friend.
My best
friend.
And I will
try to help.
I will stand Von
your side even when
we are miles away.
Because even though
it might not feel like it,
Du are never
alone.