When I was a fourteen, my dad bought me a PSP. A little history about this console, because trust me, none of Du remember this thing. It was a small black portable console with a commercial starring crackhead squirrels. Trust me, it was terrible. My dad bought this thing on eBay with the console, charger, carrying case, and three games, all for just sixty dollars, which, Von game console standards, is pathetic. So, needless to say, that was just too much for this pathetic excuse for a thief. So, when we moved to Oxford, I had to live in the worst part. And that would me a small village called Somerville. Now, Somerville is like Middletown, only with less death and smaller. It has a lot of crimes committed Von a lot of younger folks. One such person being this one guy. I don’t remember his name, but I am sure that’s not important. What this guy did was he walked into our house, saying how he wanted to invite us into Somerville. Of course, my parents were glad to hear this, so they invited him to just walk it. And I noticed that this guy was looking at the inside of our house a BIT too much. Now, I had placed my PSP on the table, because, really, I didn’t care what happened to it. So, while this guy kept going on about this town, he managed to look at everything in the house except my dad, who was talking to him, as if trying to be the rudest fuck imaginable. So, after a few minutes, my mom started talking to my dad. While they were distracted, I noticed that this guy started putting the PSP down his pants right fucking in front of me. I mean, you’d have to be an extremely special kind of stupid to take something in plain sight of someone who is looking directly at you. And of course, my parents then saw what he was doing. They took the PSP back, and then threw the guy out the door without a Sekunde thought. That was the last time I ever saw that guy, and it is probably for the best. It just goes to Zeigen Du that not all criminals are cunning. I mean, Du need to pretty dumb to just take a PSP right in front of people. And even if he did succeed in taking the PSP… It’s a fucking PSP. It’s not that great
Tingle: Oh, hello aga-
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK Du (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the Weiter Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are Du still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK Du (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the Weiter Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are Du still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED